The Next Big Thing
Today’s Pet Peeve is: People who use umbrellas in the snow. And, now that I think about it, in the sun too.
Now, I understand that people may want to keep the sun off their skin to avoid a burn – so what I propose is manufacturing a line of parasols. You heard me – parasols. Trust me, these are going to be the next big thing, and you don’t want to miss the boat. If you know what’s good for you, you’ll open up a parasol stand down on Queen West. Handpainted with crazy stuff would be especially cool.

Remember, you heard it here first.

And as a bonus, your moment of culture:

morning on church: a haiku
crusty glove beckons
dayglo briefs bloom in the snow
broom faints cold away
-- Ice Queen, March, 2003