Wednesday, July 23, 2003

I Can Bring Home the Bacon, Fry It Up In A Pan (But I Don’t Because Fresh Worries About His Cholesterol)
So I was looking at my nail technician whilst she was doing my nails, thinking: “How does she get her make-up so perfect? And she’s wearing false eyelashes, but they look good. If I tried that, I’d look like a had a centipede on my forehead.” And then I started thinking about all the girly things I simply don’t know how to do.

Girly Things I Can’t Do
Apply make-up properly
Tweeze
Shape my nails (hence the falsies)
Style my hair, including blow drying it so it has body
Fold laundry
Cut carrots into sticks
Sew
Knit

What’s wrong with me? Well, there are also many things I can do:

Girly Things I Can Do
Cook
Decorate (Given the money)
Put together a bitchin’ outfit (Given the time. Today I don’t quite match and it’s driving me mad!)
Find a bargain
Walk in heels
Wear skirts and nylons
Nag
Giggle
Needlepoint

And most of the things I can’t do, I can pay professionals to do. Which is another trait to add to my “can” list – hire a professional to do it.

Today: I go to Shopper’s to learn how to use foundation. It’s time.



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