Friday, July 11, 2003

High School Confidential

In the news today: On Chip’s page, in the comments section, we seem to have inadvertently incited PixiStix into asking for a proposal. Such fun! I can’t wait for her blog.

This morning I was thinking about a colleague from high school who was grossly overweight, nerdy and had bad people skills. I recently found out that he’s married with two kids. Amazing. I can’t imagine him courting anyone never mind, errr, making the beast with two backs.

On the other hand, I learned that one of the most popular girls (tiny, blonde, you know the type) has never been married and is living with her loser boyfriend.

I didn’t fit in at high school, but I adored university. I remember phoning my parents from York: “It’s great! It’s full of people just like me!”

Wouldn’t it be great to go into high schools and tell kids “Don’t worry. None of this will matter in ten years. The nerds will rule, the popular kids will turn into trailer trash. Your skin will clear up. You will grow into your teeth.”

Hey, can you imagine high school courses for real life?
Home Ec becomes “How to cook Thanksgiving dinner for your Irritable Bowl Syndrome mother –in-law, your vegan sister, your meat and potatoes dad and your kid who will only eat broccoli.”
Auto Shop becomes “How Not to Get Ripped Off By the Garage”
Math becomes “How to make it to payday through creative financing”
English becomes “How to write a resume or e-mail without typos”
Geography becomes “Don’t bother. They change the names of the countries every six months now anyway.”
History becomes “How to google prospective dates”

I’m outta ammo. Your turn.

What's Playing in My Head: Centerfold by J. Geils

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