I am officially the kind of person Crabby hates
The Big Tie (or clamp as it were) was yesterday and I am......fine. Really!

Here's my experience:
Sat in waiting room. Read two issues of Toronto Life. Lovely.
Went in to have my IV put in. Cried a bit at the thought. It wasn't so bad. Put on comfy housecoat and funky gauze slippers. Put personal belongings in garbage bag. Including glasses. Have I mentioned that I can't see worth squat without my glasses or contacts?
Back to waiting room to read Canadian Living.
Queer Orderly for the Tie Girl shows up to escort me to the next waiting room, telling jokes all the while. Cute guy also in housecoat and paper slippers lets me in line ahead of him.
Parade of the IVs.
Next waiting room is outside the surgery. Read Oprah and The Star (the trashy tabloid). Put my feet up. Relaxed. Ah...free time!
The children's waiting room (where I waited with Ice Prince for his ear tubes) was right next to us. An orientation tour came by with little kids who were going to have operations done. They had loot bags with hospital colouring books. (note to self: where the f was my colouring book?) Very sweet. I smiled at them to show I wasn't scared, so they shouldn't be either.
Nice new orderly takes me to surgery, where there are about 8 people. 8 people to work on little ol' me!
Anestisias....Anesthestiolo...The guy who gave me stuff to knock me out said "With a young woman like this it's much easier." Ahhh.......then they gave me a warm blanket and I fell asleep.
Woke up as they wheeled me into recovery. Butterflies in my tummy.
Half an hour later, it started to hurt -- very similar to halfway through labour. The nurse gave me two Tylenol 3s.
Half an hour later, they wheeled me into a private room and gave me my bag of belongings and a can of gingerale, They also wrapped me in warm blankets. Mmmmmm......I got out my glasses and my copy of Pride and Prejudice.
Half an hour later, a nurse comes in and says "Your husband called. He's on his way. If you can pee, you can go home." I can always pee, so I did. Then I carefully got dressed.
Then Fresh showed up and offered his arm. We walked downstairs. It felt good to move. We went to the pharmacy and got more Tylenols 3s. I suggested we walk home (about 5 minutes) so we did.

Today, I'm sleeping a lot, but that's normal for me when I'm home alone. I have an incision the size of a pea in my belly button and I smell vaguely like the vet. (You know the smell, eh? Antiseptic and blood and stitches.) But I'm fine. The belly button hurts but I'm fine. I'm even contemplating getting my hair and nails done tomorrow, since I never get the chance otherwise. Fresh is cooking for the next few days. Last night we had grilled cheeses and it was yummy.

Crabby may now commence hating me.

After reading the above link, which refers to TWO incisions, I went searching and yes, there is a second one. Never mind where. It seems fine. My mother says they put them in discreet places so that you can still wear a bikini. Yeah. Right. Like THAT's going to happen any time soon.