Next stop, the dual birthdays
Well, I pulled it off. Twenty people in two days. Everything was perfect (Except dad thought the gravy tasted "funny". That'd be the port.) I had a holiday hangover yesterday and slept and now I feel much better.

Two best gifts of Christmas were:
1. Ice Prince was somehow replaced with a perfect angel child who looks just like him but makes polite conversation with obscure relatives and doesn't spill red juice on his white dress shirt.
2. And then there was my parents' news:
We sit down to dinner. Mom says:
"We have something very important to tell you."
Me: "You're not pregnant, are you?"
Her: "It's life changing...." And she begins to roll up her sleeves. "Where's yours?" she asks my Dad.
Me: "Omigod, you both got tattoos."
Her: "Nope, we quit smoking. We're on the patch."
It's been five weeks! They're clean! I'm so proud!

All my real gifts were things for the kitchen, which would insult other women, but drive me to paroxysms of joy.

More later. Ice Prince is upstairs looking for "Chocolate, to make you feel better."