Thursday, May 29, 2003

The McCartneys are Expecting
How did that happen? Let’s take a peek a couple of months ago into Casa McCartney:

Heather: Let’s have a baby.
Paul: No.
H: Now just listen for a sec. I know you already have two kids…
P: Three. I think it’s three….
H: But I don’t have any. I want to have a baby. And you’re not getting any younger.
P: Yeah, I’m too old to deal with that nonsense all over again.
H: We could get a nanny.
P: But I like to spend time with my kids.
H: Yes,I saw the Linda documentary on HBO. Frolicking with the children. I want that too.
P: Plus nannies are expensive.
H: You’re not exactly poor.
P: Yeah, well I’m waiting for that bat-freak Jackson to go bankrupt so I can buy all my songs back. Bastard. So I’ve got to keep all the money I can.
H: But I want something to love!
P: What am I chopped Salisbury steak? Besides you’re busy with that Gold Mining charity.
H: Land mines. They’re land mines.
P: You could spend time with my kids. Go clothes shopping with Stella.
H: Shopping with Stella? That’s no fun. All she does is criticize the workmanship of the clothes. “Look at this shoddy stitching!” she says. Bloody bore, if you ask me.
P: What about a hobby?
H: Like photography?
P: (flinches from being kicked in the shin )
H: Well, if you’re not interested, I know someone else who would love to have kids with me.
P: Who?
H: Michael Jackson. He loves kids. Especially blonde haired blue eyed white kids.
P: (through clenched teeth) Fine. You win. We'll do it.
H: Yay!

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