Thursday, May 01, 2003

Errrr...the question in the last post was rhetorical. Now I fear telling you about how it went and how I'm feeling. So we'll keep it simple.

My best friends are
Nitrous Oxide (Laughing Gas) -- Amazing!
Codeine -- mmmmmmm.....codeine!
Tapioca -- Vanilla from Whole Foods. Ah!
The Satellite TV -- Jon Stewart! Martha Stewart! Patrick Stewart!
Fresh -- well, he always was my best friend. But he's working very hard to keep me comfy, cozy and seated on the couch with pillow and blankies.

My new enemies are
Satellite TV -- How can 500 channels mostly be sports, soap operas and religious programming?
Telemarketers -- The phone's ringing. Is it important or not?

Well wishers
Boomer made me two CDs, for which I am grateful. My favourite lines are from the first song on Sondre's album:
"When there is fear, you don't have to cry, here are some napkins, so dry your eyes."
How many times have I dried my tears with napkins? (I mean in my life) . That line is so perfect.

Dear Friend Dave will nag me to write a poem, which I have begun. It's called "Mouth Organ." It isn't necessary about my surgery, but it is inspired by thinking about my mouth a lot recently. There should be food and sex in it, so it should be classic Ice Queen poetry. Watch for it.

Speaking of Sex
I meant to post this ages ago, but forgot. A real estate agent has advertised in Xtra that for every mortgage request he receives, he'll enter you in a contest to "Shave My Communist." Actually the word wasn't communist. It was another four letter word starting with "c", but I don't know how sensitive everyone's net security is at work.

I wonder if the winner gets to shave his bolsheviks too.


New Toronto Ad Campaign
Did you hear that Chretien's going to decriminalize pot? And Mirvish is offering special deals for tourists? Why not combine the two?
Two Tickets to Lion King
Four Tickets to a Blue Jays Game
One Night's Acommodation
One Big Honkin' Bag of Weed (free rolling paper including)

Now if THAT doesn't bring in the Americans, I don't know what will.


No comments: