The Royal Birthday Season Is Upon Us
Sideways is a movie best enjoyed with a wine snob you love. It is a great movie -- funny, heartwarming, heartbreaking and most of all very real. Well, except for the part where...anyway. Go see it and enjoy it. Here's one of my favourite quotes:

Jack: If they want to drink merlot, we're drinking merlot.
Miles: No, if anyone orders merlot, I'm leaving. I am NOT drinking any merlot!

Today the wee Ice Prince turns four. Unbelievable. I will be wearing my pleather pants and entertaining the neighbours and their offspring with such classics as Head and Shoulders Knees and Toes. Actually, THAT'S the unbelievable part. But true. IP is ready to dance and play his guitar. I've got pirate loot for everyone, a great big dress up trunk, pizzas and a cake that, if all goes well in the next cople of hours, will be in the shape of a pirate ship. Really! I'll show you later.

For now, have to run.

Those participating in La Fete de la Reine can meet at Cafe Volo (NE corner of Yonge and Dundonald, just north of Wellesley.) at noon tomorrow, the 31st. I'll be wearing my pink mink. And a smile.

Oh, and remind me to tell you the story about the guy who tried to pick me up after the movie while Fresh was procuring us a latte. Great fun. The girl still has it!

Suffering Queen Withdrawal?
"But my liege!" you cry "What gourmet delecacies have you submitted your royal guests to this holiday season?"

Christmas Eve:
Crown Roast of Pork with Apricot/Walnut/Sausage Stuffing
Roasted Brussel Sprouts and Carrots
Spiced Yam Pudding
Trunips with Bacon and Peas
Chocolate Bread Pudding
Chudleigh's Apple Pie (when it comes to apple, I don't even try to compete)

As mentioned, it was tourtiere and flourless chocolate cake last night. On la Fete De La Reine, my exclusive dinner guests will dine on Red Wine Braised Lamb Shank and Roasted Mediterranean Vegetable Salad.

Tomorrow, Fresh is taking me to see the movie Sideways and out for lunch for my birthday - it's the only day we have free together when Ice Prince is in daycare.

And how was my Christmas? All in all, great. The best part was on Sunday night when IP and Fresh and I were alone and after dinner we three sat and played IP's new guitars and drum and sang Away in a Manger. That memory will stay with me a long time.

Oh, and Fresh got me The Daily Show's America: Democracy Inaction. It rocks.

Missed Me, Missed Me, Now You've Got To Kiss Me!
Hello, possums!

Busy, busy baking tourtiere and flourless chocloate cake for the inlaws. Ice Prince is currently elbow-deep in a bowl of melted chocolate. Should have more time for blogging tomorrow.

4 days until the Queen's Birthday - an internationally holiday celebrated by all. See you soon!

A Quiet and Peaceful Moment to Blog
It's 6 o'clock in the morning and it's STILL snowing. Those of you who recall Fresh's slipped disk will understand why this matters to me.

Bad stuff: I arrived to pick up Ice Prince last night only to be told that the gift exchange is tomorrow. What gift exchange you might well ask? Because that's what I asked too. Suffice it to say that I ran to Shoppers and bought an armful of cartoon-based tree ornaments. Who'd have thought my Muslim daycare provider would encourage a Christmas gift exchange? What-ever! They were this close to all getting pine scented air fresheners from the local 7-ll. THIS close!

Good stuff: Boomer gave me my birthmas present already and it is lovely. Really lovely! And I gave him a homemade mix CD with a picture on the cover of me picking my nose. I'm class all the way! Thank you, Boomer!

Had a meeting with my boss yesterday. "Looks like you're done everything, " she said. "Yup," said I. "Well then, just go home! Or go shopping or something!" I like my boss.

Sent out Ice Prince's birthday party invites. I've only invited 3 kids (well, 5 because two have baby brothers.) I didn't invite any of the kids from daycare, just kids from school/our street and I WILL NOT feel guilty. I want to retain my sanity and besides, they'll have their pine scented air fresheners to comfort them upon being left out of the party of the year. IP has chosen a pirate theme - I am very proud of him.(It's probably just an excuse for him to wear a blouse and an earring.)

Speaking of birthday party of the year, we WILL be doing La Fete de la Reine on noon December 31st at Cafe Volo. I do want manicures, but I'm not sure I can find a place that'll do so many of us at once. And I'm too busy to check right now. If anyone is bored and feels like sourcing manicures around Yonge and Wellesley for the 31st, feel free.

Change is Good
Yep, changed the titlebar. That picture was taken this morning in the photo booth in the subway. My melon isn't really that big. Isn't my hat cute?

Naughty or Nice?

The Scented Candle Must Die
My workstation is exuding a scanted candle smell that is DRIVING ME MAD!!!! MAD I TELL YOU!

I cannot for the life of me figure out where this smell is coming from. It's giving me a headache. It seems to be emanating from the keyboard and wafting up as I type, but that's crazy, right?

Right?

Pew!

Shhh…..

Guess what I got Fresh for Christmas? Guitar lessons! He’s wanted some forever, but it’s the sort of thing you rarely splurge on yourself. He can then teach Ice Prince, who has asked Santa for a guitar. I liked the teacher’s course outline. Here are some of the songs they play:
Champagne Super Nova (Oasis)
Don't Look Back in Anger (Oasis)
Wonderwall (Oasis)
Lay Down Sally (Eric Clapton)
Dumb (Nirvana)
Jesus Don't Want Me (Nirvana)
No Rain (Blind Melon)
Harvest (Neil Young)
Knockin' on Heaven's Door (Bob Dylan)
If I Had A Million Dollars (Barenaked Ladies)
Elderly Woman (Pearl Jam)
Runaway Train (Soul Asylum)
Mr. Jones (Counting Crows)
Wheat Kings (Tragically Hip)
Let it Be (Beatles)
Eight Days A Week (Beatles)
Edmund Fitzgerald (Gordon Lightfoot)
Tonite, Tonite (Smashing Pumpkins)
Give Me One Reason (Tracy Chapman)
Wonderin' Where The Lions Are (Bruce Cockburn)

Funky Fresh! Coming to a café near you!

In other news, we’ve been in our house for three Christmases. I opened up all the cards last night that we got in the mail, but I didn’t recognize the names in one. I looked at the envelope, and it was addressed to the former owners. Now, how friendly are you with someone if you don’t know that they moved THREE YEARS AGO? But what worried me was that it read: “Love, Abi and Greg. Cain and Theo. See you on the 27th!” Guess I better throw on another couple of chops, eh?

News Flash
Royal Family (Queen Mum and Dad) arrive in Toronto several days early to avoid freezing rain.

The coldest day of the year and I have limo service.

Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet!

And as it should be, natch.

No, it’s NOT that time of the month
Ah……the busiest part of the year has now ended. Well, the part at work anyway.

It’s been a crazy three weeks:
Totally gutted basement
Fresh slipped a disk gutting the basement.
Finished gutting it myself and prepared for new carpet
Fed Fresh Percoset
Wrote and administered six town halls in nine locations in two countries (no I didn’t travel)
Wrote a 7 page newsletter (was supposed to just edit but no one can write to my standards).
Planned and hosted two office holiday parties.
Sent handmade Christmas cards (yesterday, so watch your mailbox)
Made 6 dozen chocolate covered pretzels (2 dozen at my desk. Come and get ‘em!)
Dealt with spawn of Satan (actually spawn of Fresh) almost 4 year old who if he could say “talk to the hand”, would

I’m so tired and post-stressy that I just burst out in tears if Fresh asks me where I store the coffee, or anything else for that matter.

Sunday morning at 7:50 am our power went out. So we went for breakfast at the Tulip. I figured Ice Prince would be continuing with the Demon Seed from Hell behaviour, but he was absolutely adorable and ate 4 giant pancakes, two of which were on my plate. So that was nice. The power was back on when we got home at 3 pm. Then I burst out in tears. Again.

I am hosting and posting over at Wanda’s tomorrow, so drop by. “It’s the most Wandaful time of the year!”

What Kind of Pirate Am I?

What kind of pirate am I? You decide!
You can also view a breakdown of results or put one of these on your own page!
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey

It’s Getting Better All the Time
I am THIS close to being done all my major projects before the holidays. Tomorrow is payday. My dear friends Crabby and the Sister gave me a spa gift certificate for my birthday (yes, my birthday is on the 31st, but this is so that I can be waxed and buffed and ready for the party season.) Keep those gifts coming! I’ve got an appointment to get my highlights updated. Tomorrow is our office party. Life is good.

But I need to finish making my Christmas cards tonight.

The IP Report
I sent Ice Prince off to school today with a tin full of oatmeal craisin cookies. He shook the tin most of the way, so it was probably just a big ol’ tin of oatmeal when he got there. Sugary buttery oatmeal. Mmmmm…..

I asked what he wanted to get his teacher. “A name tag. With flowers.” Yeah, whatever. I think we’ll make her a card.

Today, he was wearing a sweatshirt, concept by Ice Queen, tailoring by Ice Queen Mum. It says “Naughty or nice?” and has a check box next to each. There is a little ribbon on a pin and you can mark which he is that day. His morning, he was naughty. For Easter, he had a shirt that had fluffy chicks on it and it said “Chick Magnet”. And he’s also got a wee apron that says “Short Order Chef”. I really do think if my mom brought her stuff to Toronto, we could make a bundle selling these little gems.

Restores My Faith in the Season. And in Bunnies.
It'a A Wonderful Life in 30 Seconds by the Bunny Players.

From what I remember of the movie, the only thing left out is falling in the pool. Otherwise, it's all there!

Joan Crawford, Formerly Known as Ice Queen
So apparently, to be a good mom, I have to buy the teacher a present and make nut-free treats for tomorrow. All the cool moms are doing it.

Bloody, bloody, bloody.

Crabby and Sister and coming over tonight for wine. Maybe we can make some rude shaped gingerbread cookies to send with Ice Prince tomorrow.

As for a present, when I was in school, it was against school policy to give your teacher a present, because it was unfair to the poorer kids. Some kid's mom asked me if I wanted to contribute to a gift certificate and I told her this. I haven't heard from her since. Did I ice her? But all the other kids were toting prezzies to school today and tomorrow's the official party, so I'd better manage something. Oh yeah, and payday is two days away, Fresh took the bottle of wine I had planned to serve tonight and I'm serving whatever is in my cupboard to the girls this evening - lots of orzo. So the teacher may be getting a gently used book or Christmas ornament at this rate. I've got a book called "I Don't Know How She Does It". In the first chapter, the mom is sprinkling icing sugar over store bought mince tarts to take into school so they look homemade. That'd be appropriate eh?

Still crazy busy at work, but thought I'd vent for a moment. If it's Tuesday, it must be Belgium.

Wine sounds real good.

Cool Dude of the Day: Joseph

Think about it. The guy marries Mary. They’re married, but she’s still a virgin. So he’s not getting any. And then Mary comes home and says “I’m pregnant, but I’m still a virgin.”

If this scenario would played out on Jerry Springer, what do you think would have happened?

Plus Joseph never gets any credit. Sure, Mary’s the Mother of God, but what’s Joseph? Not the father. He’s like the Step-Father of God. You think it was easy raising Jesus? "Close the door. What's the matter with you, were you born in a barn?"

So give it up for Joseph!

Six Impossible Things Before Breakfast
Well, it was that kind of week. I managed to pull off a shipload of high visible projects at work, backwards in high heels even!

It culminated in the first of TWO office Christmas parties (we have a big honkin' department and I serve both halves. And I mean serve in the non-prono way. Naughty! Santa's watching, you know.) Anyhow, the SVP seemed a bit concerned about the place I had chosen. Not sure why - probably because it wasn't a pub. He loves pubs. This was a lounge. With beads and low cubes to sit on and posters for something called SpankDelicious (I had to phone Boomer and share.) And this half of the department is known for being rather, well, mature and conversative.

Well! the SVP heartily shook my hand four times telling me that it was "a perfect party", "The best yet".

I managed to get squeezed and pinched a fair bit by two older men who thought I was the cutest thing. I was able to shut them down politely with several witty barbs and my boss later said: "I can't believe they said that to you, but you handled it perfectly."

Ice Prince has been sick all weekend. Projectile vomiting. Call the Priest.

Now on to next week. And getting my homemade Christmas cards out. Finally. If I can keep IP from tossing up his oatmeal on them. (Aw, what the hell. Looks decorative.)

Don't firget to RSVP for La Fete de la Reine: Because It's Always Noon Somewhere!

Don We Now Our Gay Apparel
It's the event of the season:

La Fete de la Reine!: Otherwise known as The Ice Queen's birthday.
This is traditionally celebrated by Boomer, Beco and Lola feting me with lunch. After lunch last year, we got fake tattoos.

For the 3rd Annual Fete de la Reine, we will be lunching downtown, and the event for this year will be Manicures and Pedicures! (Or just manicures. Or maybe waxing. I don't have all the details worked out yet. Something spa-ish and girly.)

Date: December 31st (yes, that's really my birthday)
Time: Noonish
Place: Downtownish Toronto (traditionally Café Volo at Yonge and Dundonald)

Please RSVP if you would like to join us for lunch and/or the Spavaganza.

And how old am I? A lady never tells. But since I'm no lady, I can tell you that I'm 36. that doesn't seem possible, but it's true.

"That look you were going for? You missed."
Still busy. Enjoy a mid-80s pic of me with Santa.

Al meets Keef
Really really busy this week.

Enjoy this picture of me and Fresh at a Hallowe'en party. Then go see Benjamin, he's got a cool blogger interactive thing going on today which I will attend to when I have time.



Kiss kiss!

One of My Seasonal Favourites

I’m class all the way, dollface
Mikevil (who seems to be inspiring me lately) has written today about his tasteful Christmas tree.

Here are some of the tasteful things that appear on MY tree:
Plastic vampire teeth
Canadian flag (used to be held by the angel until we got a new angel)
Cardboard VIA Rail train (I think Stace and I got these on the train up to see my parents in first year university)
Wooden circus tiger with a feathered headdress
A life-sized jewelled banana
Lots of fake birds with real feathers

Can’t remember what else. (Friends may wish to add to the list if they remember anything.)I’ll update you when we unpack the tree. Probably December 18th.

What to Give the Girl Who Wants Everything?
Did I mention that my birthday is coming up? 29 shopping days left!

The Gift That Keeps on Giving
I’ll Make My ‘O’ Face
Batter up!
Sometimes, Slow Can Be Good Too
Baby You Can Light My Fire
Ribbed for Your Pleasure
Our Compliments
Bonsai!
Give Me Your Answer True