Ice Queen’s Semi-Annual Ennuifest!
Brought to you by the makers of I Can't Believe It's Not Butter
You know what I’m in the mood for? A prank.

I think the desire first germinated in me when I received a brochure that tells us how to turn lights on our office building floor on and off according to zone. I has SO planned to do this until Boomer moved to the 3rd floor. Not as much fun without a co-conspirator.

I want something fun. Not mean-spirited. Not illegal. Like the time we Fed-Ex’ed the contents of my manager’s desk to his house the day he was due back from vacation.

In other news, you know what? I wish I was the best at something. (Something I can do in public, I mean.) I’m a good cook and I write some good poetry (when the spirit moves me). I like to sing, but don’t do it well. I like designing logos, but never have the opportunity anymore. I know a tiny bit of Spanish. I can write funny parody songs. If you’ve messed something up in a Microsoft program, I can probably fix it. And make it look prettier in the process.

I know how to spell this word and what it means:
Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanokoniosis

I know the best brands of nylons for sheerness vs. durability.

What else? Has the sum of my 36 years been these talents?