They Like Me! They Really Like Me!
So today was my first day back at work in more than 5 weeks. The Senior Vice President phoned me up and told me how nice it was that I was back and that they'd missed me.

Weapon of Choice
Whip. I'd really like to be a good whip handler. Feminine but powerful. Easy to pack. Doesn't sent off alarms. Sexy. Doesn't need refills. Self-retrieving.

Weapon of Choice
A Damn Fine® music video.

Seen and Heard
Sign on door to mall (scratched out letters replaced by stars in this post):
*ho*s and shi*t required

In the Fabricland at Lunch:
Lady 1: How did you remember I had that tabelcloth?
Lady 2: Isn't it amazing? I have a photogenic memory.

Worse Than Opening Up Some Bags the Daycare Sent Home with Spoiled Undies and Clothes From Ice Prince's Training Accidents
Finding some other kid's soiled clothes and undies.