Voulez-vous Couchez Avec Moi Ce Soir?
Mr. Crabby didn’t want to go to Fashion Cares after all so I got to go with Crabby!

I wore a silver floor length crochet dress (yes, it was lined.) Crabby wore a black Audrey Hepburn-eque sheath dress.

We drank Funkdeified martinis (weird name, but they are sort of like spiked ginger lemonade), I did Karaoke with the B-Girlz . I sang New York New York (there were only 4 choices I chose the one least sung just to get up there). I even had back-up singers and dancers. Afterwards, pink B-girl said I was very Bridget Jones.

I will take that as a compliment – goofy and hapless but charming nonetheless. They will be mailing me a DVD of my performance. I will post the file if I can and then you can download my mortification. And see the nice dress. (NOTE: Boomer just dropped by and said he could make copies of the DVD, so now I’ve decided to design a cover and sell them with proceeds going to my Pride Run fund. Why shouldn’t I/they profit from my humiliation? Boomer also compared me to William Hung even though he’s never heard me sing.)

The boutique area was great and cheap. By the time we got there, things had been picked over, but I found and bought a shirt I found that had slipped off a hanger. “You don’t buy off the rack, you buy off the floor!” quipped Crabby.

The show was loud and wonderful. Mad violinist, flying monkey people on trapezes, chaps cut in interesting places, and great singers (especially Simone Denny and Patti laBelle). The only disappointment was Linda Evangelista, who looked lovely, but read a poorly written and short speech at the beginning.

Afterwards we got free blue cocktails in wee martini glasses, glow sticks and free Haagan Daas!

I don’t think I saw Mikevil. And I forgot the tiara on the way out the door, which I continued to moan about to poor Crabby who has to put up with me.

Thank you Crabby for inviting me and thank you Planet Aid for the $15 gown. And thank you B-girlz for not pulling me off the stage with a hook.

Team Queen!
Here's a picture of the Pride and Remembrance Run Team we've assembled. That's Mikevil on the left.

No Wonder Our Stock Is Going Up
I spent the morning getting seven banker types to use crayons to make movie posters.

Is this job cool or what?

Featured E-mail of the Day
Ice Queen,
We haven't seen you in a while... our records show that you last signed in to Tickle, formerly known as Emode, on February 22, 2001.

Because you haven't signed in or taken a test within the past year, your account has been marked as inactive. If it remains inactive for another 30 days, we'll need to delete it.

Tests Taken

Test Title Result Date Taken
What Breed of Dog Are You? Pug 01/31/01
The Passion Predictor: Snugglebunny 02/07/01
The Ultimate Personality Test: Movie Star 02/22/01
Which "Friend" Are You? Phoebe 03/12/01


SNUGGLEBUNNY?! Movie star I can believe.

That's Dr. Stewart to you.

An Act of Cod
Boomer has somehow managed to get me invited to create a name and a mandate for his team.

Here I have found a name generator. Here are a few of the cool names I think I may appropriate for other use.

GeoFist
ShirtSmash
LipBag
BurnBaby
HypnoFish
RiverCheese
DarkOompa

I also found this site very useful.

And then I found a mission statement generator.

Man, this facilitating stuff is a breeze. I think I’ll start up my own company. And call it “HypnoFish”! If you knew sushi like I know sushi… oh! Oh! Oh what a gal! Get hooked! Big fish, small pond. Brain food! Bare bones. Good creative is an Act of Cod. I'll just get back to work now......

Cheeky Bum Taster!
Ice Prince Quote Of The Weekend:
“I need the big blanket over me so Leo (our cat) doesn’t taste my bum.”

Saturday we went to the Jazz Festival. Ice Prince got to go on stage and play an instrument while the band played “Spiderman”. Then I couldn’t get him off the stage.
Sunday we went to buy shoes because the boy had huge holes in his sneakers. Ice Prince chose Spiderman sandals. Now he puts on his sandals and dances and sings the Spiderman song.
Monday we went to the zoo with the Crabbies. The best part was seeing the Otter Feeding. They were right in front of us – it was most excellent. Ice Prince would squeal everytime one swam by. "I liked the d'otters best!" Then the Crabbies came over for dinner. Fresh opened up his store of wine. Now I am a wee bit hung over. Bleagh.

I also had insomnia and got up at 4 am and watched the remake of Sabrina. Why does no one ever try to bribe me to move to Paris?

Boomer Revealed
Boomer refuses to let me publish any real photos of him, claiming they are unflattering (even the ones where I have short blond hair and look so cute!. Yes, it is all about me.)

In the spirit of compromise he has agreed to let me post this reasonable facsimile:

All Boomer, All Day
So Boomer was just here giving me work (he can't really do that, so he tries to make it sound like something I'd enjoy to muster my enthusiasm.) I have to help his team come up with a name. I suggested "Chips and Dips" from an old Dilbert cartoon. Then I tried using google to find that cartoon. I failed, but took this Quizilla test instead:


You are Ratbert.
Your goal is to make people love you, but you only
succeed in making a fool of yourself as you
try. You're the butt of everbody's joke, but
that's ok : you can take it and still be
cheery.


Which Dilbert character are you ?
brought to you by Quizilla

Let Boomer Appreciation Day Begin!

The Naming of Boomer
Before I started my blog, I used to e-mail my strange ramblings to Boomer. I often had a question of the day. The first one was “Where do the TNT men keep their loose change?” and the second one was “Do male kangaroos have pockets?”

During research on male kangaroo, I discovered a young male kangaroo is called a boomer — and a legend was born. He’s been Boomer ever since.

Boomer’s Best Quote
“Half pints? They have half pints? That’s just wrong.”


More later. And I'll see if I can talk him into a photo.....

Put Your Money Where Your Mouse Is
I have received my first online pledge — from Boomer. Thank you! Excellent timing, considering I have some photos of you that I could post now that I have image ability.

Instead, I hereby declare Friday May 21st as Boomer Appreciation Day in the Fief. Drop by to learn where Boomer got his name and more!

Donate today. You too can be an athletic supporter!

Images in Vogue
Busy today but just had to take Sir Snobby's advice and try Image Shack.



What do you think? Fast loading? Brilliant lifelike colours?

And hey, do you like the logo? We aim to please here in the Fief.

For Outlaw
One of the scariest pictures ever of the Ice Queen on her 13th birthday. If this doesn't pour cold water on you, I don't know what will.



Thanks to Radmila for the image hosting info via Snobby.

Bits and Bites
1. No one has sponsored me in the run yet. However, Sir Snobby has placed a link on his blog to my online donation page. The Queen is pleased and smiles benevolently upon him.
2. The Queen is sorry that her great beauty has driven Outlaw to distraction. If he had seen me with greasy hair and Drew Carey glasses scrubbing the basement toilet last night , he'd probably change his tune. Please keep your worship to a dull roar so as not to creep out our other royal subjects. And me.
3. Keith Richards has signed on to be Captain Jack Sparrow's (Johnny Depp's) dad in the next Pirates movie, savvy? Most excellent.
4. Shrek 2 has gotten amazing reviews and I am therefore taking Ice Prince to see his very first big screen movie, probably next weekend. Wish me luck. My first one was Snow White and it still scares the hell out of me just thinking about it.
5. This is my last weekend (partial) with Fresh before the election starts (Fresh works for an MP, so he'll be busy every waking hour.)It's going to be a long June.
6. Gotta run. I got new software and am laying out a newsletter. Such fun! The fonts! The graphics! The leading! (No sarcasm. I love that stuff.)

Get Me To The Church On Time
Same sex marriage law causes rush to Massachusetts city halls.

Trivia note: As a wee icicle, the Ice Queen used to (not on purpose)pronounce it Massa-two-shits, much to her parents' amusement.

George Michael Dedicates New Album to Me
“I've never made an official kind of record for big queens, and this is that record, definitely.” — George

Although I'm a little offended that he called me big.

Ahem!
You know, I’ve been getting a lot of sass from the peasants lately. I’m not exactly sure that I am being shown my Queenly reverence and deference.

Therefore I am asking you, my subjects, to write me a song of praise – the new National Anthem for the Icicle Fief. Now, I realize that you are not as talented as I am (or as good looking or as modest), so I provide here the lyrics of an existing Queen Anthem for your use. (Or you could use a Queen song, like Killer Queen, although anyone who attempts to use Fat Bottomed Girls gets exiled. No ifs, ands or butts. I mean buts.)

I await your adoration with bated breath. (If I’d had anchovies last night I would be waiting with baited breath.)

National Anthem

God save our gracious Queen
Long live our noble Queen
God save our Queen!

Send her victorious,
Happy and glorious
Long to reign over us,
God save the Queen!

*

O Lord our God arise,
Scatter her enemies,
And make them fall:
Confound their politics;
Frustrate their knavish tricks;
ON thee our hopes we fix; God save us all.

*

Thy choicest gifts in store
ON her be pleased to pour,
Long may she reign!
May she defend our laws,
And ever give us cause,
To sing with heart and voice,
God save the Queen!

Insert Witty Post Title Here

Bad, bad, bad weekend.

Ice Prince got sent to his room at least 7 times yesterday. He was totally mouthing off and laughing at my attempts at discipline. The last time he got sent to his room he fell asleep. Today’s he’s much better, so I hope he learned something. “Make sure the good books and toys are in your room BEFORE you piss Mom off.”

But the weekend was saved at the last minute by the Freddie Mercury tribute on Much More Music. I get goosebumps! This also made me want to do karaoke. Another fundraising idea? Maybe I could win a gift certificate for fundraising and finally by some decent running shoes. Of course, by then, I won’t need the shoes.

I took my bike out for the first time in a year. Sweet glorious freedom! And today at lunch, I run.

I will be setting up a progress chart (or as I like to call it “The Wall of Shame”) to monitor my training progress for the Pride Run. I also thought that if I run out of steam out, Mikevil could pull me in one of those rickshaw things and I could throw condoms branded with the Ice Queen logo. “I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream With Ice Queen Brand Condoms!”

I'm All That And A Bag Of Chips

Magister Mundi sum!
"I am the Master of the Universe!"
You are full of yourself, but you're so cool you
probably deserve to be. Rock on.


Which Weird Latin Phrase Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

More Orange

Aphrodite/Eros


?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla