Friday, October 06, 2006

AHHHH!!! I forgot it was Catmas! Here's an oldie but goodie:

FROM THE ARCHIVES: JANUARY 23, 2006


Cats and Politics. Hot damn, now I'm a REAL blogger!
IQ: I’m here reporting to you live from the Icicle Fief deep in the heart of East York, where an epic election night battle rages between Jack Layton and his moustache.
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Tonight, as we wait for the polls to close at the ungodly hour of 9:30 pm, we will be discussing the issues with our panelists Melody K. columnist at the Globe and Tail, and Leo Tolstoy , Political Analyst at The National Purrs. Thank you both.
Mel: You’re welcome.
Leo: A pleasure, as always. (purrs)
IQ: Let’s start with you, Leo. What do you see as the stand out issues in the 2006 campaign?
Leo: Well, as a cat of altered gender, I feel that the Conservative government would not only put a kibosh on same sex marriage, but on no-sex marriage.
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IQ: That’s funny, I though the Conservatives were all FOR no-sex.
Mel: Ahem!
IQ: Yes, Melody. What do YOU think was the most important issue in 2006.
Mel: Obviously, we cannot ignore the issue of the decriminalization of catnip.
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Leo: rolls his eyes
Mel: But what really grates on my nerves is all these kittens running around with claws.
Leo: I suppose you support declawing.
Mel: Naturally. As a house pet, I believe our claws are entirely unnecessary.
Leo: So you prefer mutilation.
Mel: Looks who taking, eunuch-boy.
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Leo: It’s not like I signed up for this. It was hardly necessary, with you as the only female cat in the house, there was NO temptation.
Mel: Oh yeah? I also want to go on record against methodone clinics.
Leo: Hey, man, don’t slam the clinics!
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Mel: Freebasing Little Friskies again, are we?
Leo: I don’t have to take this kind of abuse. I find pieces of cats like you in my stool. This discussion is over.
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IQ: And there we have it. Another cat fight masquerading as commentary. We now return you to your regularly scheduled Apocalypse.

UPDATE:
Leo: Now that a conservative minority has been officially declared, I hereby challenge Harper to compose a cabinet with proportional representation for transgendered cats of colour, such as myself.
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