Saturday, November 05, 2005

NaNoWirBlo..or whetever the hell its sipposed to be
So, I came online to check the TTC schedule for tomorrow (dim sum with me mum) and forgot I was supposed to be drinking and blogging.

I've got a half bottle or so of Henry of Pelham 2004 Pinot Blanc, which is really not that great, but whatever, and I am at the keyboard. What to blog about?

Men tend to think drunk women talk about them. This used to be true, but not so much anymore. Now that we're married, we rarely dish. I think it's easier when you know that the boyfriend you're dishing about isn't permanent. With husbands, dish could get awkward. And also, I feel much less sense of drama as I get older. After nearly 15 years of marriage (true! I was a child bride), rough patches are less significant and fade pretty quickly. I also don't dish the positive stuff, because I don't like to brag. But let me tell you, I sure did appreciate when Fresh grew those sideburns last month. Rrrrowr!

Ahem, but I digress.

Do I miss the dish and the drama? Yeah, a little. Maybe we should have an Amnesty Dish Night when we can tell tales at will and swear that they will all be "forgotten" in the morning and ne'er referred to again, not even under the influence of a Mad Fish. Right now, kind readers, I can tell you it would all be good dish.

On another topic all together I bought a sexy little red business suit at Goodwill today for $9.99. It's French and it's a SIZE 10! (We will ignore the fact that a green size 12 suit I wanted was too small.) SIZE 10! My God, I can't afford the calories in this wine! Maybe I'll jump up and down while I drink and type. No, wait, not this bra. This is the type of bra that's all show and no support. Why am I wearing it? Dunno. Clean and looks good.

Fresh is out at a Philippino Transexual/Transvestite Fundraiser right now. I can't even imagine what that sort of news would do to the poor Richard fellow from blamblog this week (the neo-con). No, we're not in an open marriage, it's part of his job as the MP, when the MP is otherwise engaged. Pretty cool job, but tough. Only Fresh has the diplomacy to manage it so well.

That's another thing about dishing is that sometimes I don't think people realize what a great guy Fresh is. He is much more serious in public than he is in private. Or maybe I'm just a good influence. Anyhow, we balance each other out perfectly: I bring out the silly side of him and he prevents me from selling all my worldly goods on ebay and moving to Paraguay. No, I'm kidding. It wouldn't be Paraguay. It would be Spain. I'd own a kitten farm and write poems and grow vegetables.

Gosh, I never do a stream of consciousness posts. Are you having fun yet? Shall I continue?

Oh! Right! Why did I buy a sexy little red business suit? I have a job interview coming up with a similarly behemothy-like company. I have a good feeling about this one. I think it'll be this week. The HR-thingy left a message on my machine. I had the "prescreening" phone interview last week, so now they'll meet me in person.

Yes, my current job is fun. I spent last week coming up with bad puns and finding clip art of a pirate's ass. Seriously, I'm very good at what I do, I'm just not exactly sure what that is. I'm like a GOOD HR person. My mission is to inform, educate and amuse employees so that they don't feel like mushrooms, but like human beings. I'm a little ray of sunshine! Errr...except when you catch me scanning my head.

No, wait, Boomer claims people are afraid of me at work. I think that's only at the lower level. I'm great with execs. Well, I AM the Queen. I need to evoke a certain amount of fear and respect. What did Clara call me? Dire and.... (damn, can't remember. More wine!)

Next up, I want to meet Clara. And Brett owes me a date and time for a Conversational Gesture Brunch/Lunch. C'mon, man! I haven't seen you since, what, 1986?

Remember the old commenters here? I miss Chip. He was so clever! And Outlaw was a bit old-fashioned, but I always enjoy some good worship. (Cheeky monkey!) If there are any lurkers out there, do say hello.

I always find it amazing when I go to technorati.com and find out who links here. There's a porn site that links here. Seriously! Gay pron, I think. Why? Who knows? I've always had a large "friends of Dorothy" following, so if you got here from a porn link...errrr...sorry and welcome! I'm sure you know by now that we here at the Icicle Fief are socially liberal and fiscally unfortunate. Well, house-poor is what they call it. I have assets and they are guzzling gas and hydro like it's Chateau Lafite Rothchild 1978.

My, I am running on, aren't I? Okay, I'll finish this glass of wine and then go. Ooo..almost done. Okay, so any last questions? You...with the glasses and Roots sweatshirt. Speak up! No,I haven't written any poetry lately. No, that's a lie. I wrote a lovely poem about Lisa. You may read it on two drink minimum. I should probably ask her first....

Oh, how I miss writing poetry. That is one thing I am very good at. Most of the time. Do you think the behemoth would be interested in having a poet in residence? Doesn't Air Canada have an in-flight poet? Why not me? Me me me! Really, sometimes I think I could use a whole nother life to explore all the amazing things I'd like to do.

Wine's gone. I have to go hang up my $9.99 suit and go do some sit ups.

Thanks for listening to WriDruShotNo (yeah, whatever). So what did you think? More stream of consciousness writing or keep the cork in it?

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