Turned in to the Lost and Found. WTF?
"Yeah, I lost a red mitten and a baby. Anybody turned anything like that in? No? Oh well. I'll check back next week."

Status Report

Busy, busy today, but here's a quick update:
1. Enjoying strange and probably temporary Golden Child status at work.
2. The mall in Ajax where my CT scan was have a gas leak when we arrived. It was over in time.
3. Scan was fine. They put you on a table in a dark room with a comfy pillow and slide you into a tube that whirs. I almost fell asleep.
4. Ice Prince threw up when we arrived at day care this morning. Luckily my parents were waiting out front still, ready to drop me off before they headed home. So they're staying another day or two. What a relief. I couldn't take more time off work!
5. Scan results early next week.

More Fun With Google
Here's what people have been searching for when they stumbled into the fief this weekend:
"queen mum"+"chocolate cake"+recipe
advertising + tv + "rathergood" + "kittens"
"adam doolittle"
"ice queen" costume
sarah jessica homely
guy girl "switch shoes"
does fez really have an accent
boiled meringue
LYRICS "and i ran, ran so far away
toronto blog "david miller"
"juice for jesus" +shirt
CAT TRACTORS HELLAS
men who impersonate shania twain

The Blue Jean Queen Will Survive
hey kids rock and roll
rock on
cool my soul
hey kids it's no use
sleeping
showtime summertime blues
jump up and die in your blue suede shoes
hey kids rock and roll
we're gonna rock on

where do we go from here
which is the way that's clear
still looking for that blue jean baby queen
prettiest girl i've ever seen
see her die on my movie screens
every day

rock on
rock on
rock on
rock on

Say Pretty Please….
So something good happened yesterday. I got a lovely thank you note for my work on the Superhero event, which was cc’d by the sender to my boss, my boss’ boss, and my boss’ boss’ boss. It was something I volunteered to help out with and I enjoyed it.

Anyhow, I was thinking about me wanting a new challenge and not getting the job and enjoying parachuting in as a volunteer and doing miracles, and then it hit me.

When I grow up, I’m going to be The Wolf. In fact, I believe a position should be created especially for me like this. Except I will provide solutions that perk up boring business events, not solutions that get blood out of your Chevy Nova.

Like Ralph Wiggum, you could see the moment my heart broke
"Thank you for your application for the Communications Manager, Ref #DECE034 position. We appreciate the time you have taken to share your background and career aspirations with us.

Unfortunately we must advise you that we have selected a candidate whose skills and experience more closely fit with our requirements at this time.

We regret that our reply cannot be more favourable but thank you for your interest. We would like to take this opportunity to wish you every success in your future endeavours."

Okay, I'm over it. Next!

No news yet.

But I did see The Big Ragoo on the videoconference jumbotron last night. He's in Chicago. Which is why he's been unable to sign off on hiring me.

That's my theory and I'ma stickin' to it.

Just a Small Town Girl in The City Lights, the Best Was Yet To Come
I left the man a voice mail.

Dream Job®: Closure Required
I simply can't stand not knowing any longer.

My last interview was two weeks ago tomorrow. I have to call the guy who interviewed me and ask what's going on. It will either put me out of my misery or assure me that they simply haven't decided yet. It's good to be assertive, right?

I'm going to do it. Here I go. In a minute. Watch my dust.

*

Maybe I'll just have a nice cuppa first.

You and you and you and you and you!
Via the new and, um, visually arresting blamblog, comes this amazing website. This is my childhood, folks. Behold it in all its glory.

(Again, apologies to our American friends who don't watch Toronto television)

Bought at Lunchtime
A gold tiara. Because sometimes a girl's tiara has to match her jewelry.

Don't Hate Me Because I'm Beautiful
I thoroughly enjoyed this Queer Eye Rejection Letter.

Speaking of Sexy English Accents.....
Me: "Low Fat Muffin, please."
Coffee Girl: "Ah, you have a beautiful accent."
Me: "Err....thank you."
Coffee Girl: "Are you from England?"
Me: "No, Scotland, the long way around."

Somehow, that exchange pulled me out of a funk this morning. I have a sexy little accent! Who knew? I know I say some words with an accent -- even my mom laughs at it sometimes. But "muffin"? Say it with me: "Muffin!"

P.S. More Six Degrees: I watched Dirty Dancing on tv last night. It came out when I was in first year university. Sigh. Ah to be young and innocent again. And debt-free.

Bondage
I hear they are looking for a new James Bond. These are the current contenders:
Jude Law, Hugh Jackman, Colin Farrell, Orlando Bloom.

I’d like to write in my own vote for: Rupert Everett. Could be interesting…

Hot or Not
Recent comments have made me think about whether people are hot or not. I've always figured that I am much more attractive once you get to know me (no, not the "she's got a nice personality.....but...." syndrome). I just think attitude can be very sexy.

Anyhow, I also read an article that said Jennifer Grey from Dirty Dancing was hot. Huh. I never would have picked her as "hot". But what do I know?

Who's hot and who's not?

Speaking of hot, guess who's in Shrek 2? Antonio Banderas is playing Puss in Boots! Meeeee----ooooooooow!

Bring it On!
Back to Dr. Hibbert yesterday. I got an inhaler and a different antibiotic: "Doxycycline is used to treat bacterial infections, including pneumonia, lyme disease, acne, venereal (sexually transmitted) diseases, and inhalational anthrax (after exposure). It also is used to prevent malaria."

Well, that pretty much covers all bases. I'll have clean skin, can sleep around with impunity and am safe from terrorist chemical attacks. What could be better?

Sleep-Around Barbie
According to a City-tv piece, Barbie and Ken have officially broken up.

G.I. Joe, you old dog you. What next? Barbie's Safe Sex Kit for non-monogamous plastic dolls?

Holy Interactive Blog, Batman!
Do you remember back on Batman and Robin, Robin has a catch phrase "Holy (fill in the blank), Batman!" Well, I'm doing some research for a theme event I'm planning and I found a list of unbelievable but true expressions Robin used. But to make it more fun....you have to guess which are real and which are fake. There are 5 fakes.

Holy Armadillos
Holy Audubon
Holy Avocado
Holy Bank Balance
Holy Bargain Basements
Holy Bikini, that was close
Holy Caffeine
Holy Chocolate Eclair
Holy Conflagration
Holy Contributing to the Delinquency of Minors
Holy Corpuscles
Holy Cossacks
Holy Epicure
Holy Fate Worse than Death
Holy Fishbowl
Holy Floor Covering
Holy Fruit Salad
Holy Guacamole
Holy Guadalcanal
Holy Haberdashery
Holy Hardest Metal in the World
Holy Here We Go Again
Holy Hors d'oeuvre
Holy Knit One Pearl Two
Holy Mashed Potatoes
Holy Missing Relatives
Holy Mucilage
Holy Naïveté
Holy Non Sequiturs
Holy Priceless Collection of Etruscan Snoods
Holy Return From Oblivion
Holy Rising Hemlines
Holy Robert Louis Stevenson
Holy Rogers and Hammerstein
Holy Sasparilla
Holy Semantics
Holy Shark Bait
Holy Squirrel Cage
Holy Sudden Incapacitation
Holy Uncanny Photographic Mental Processes
Holy Unrefillable Prescriptions
Holy Vertigo

Tunes on Tuesday

Dream Job®

I've just checked my voice mail again
Waiting for the dream job gravy train
Mike, take away my worries of today
And leave tomorrow behind

(chorus)
Ooh dream job
I believe I could use the extra pay
Ooh dream job
I believe you’re not so far away
Throw me a party with presents to say goodbye
As for the job itself…
Cross that path when it arrives
Gonna be a success once I get off this shelf

(chorus again)

Though the call may be coming soon
I may have to wait ‘til next time
Bide my time writing a bright little tune
And I’ll just keep applying

My alter ego
People at work are afraid to come near me. They're calling me Typhoid Mary.

Interesting....

Forever Lung! I wanna be forever lung....
I tell you everything, right?

Well, we may have found the cause of the recurring pneumonia. The x-ray report is back and I've got a "nodule" in my lung. Nice euphemism, eh? Anyhow, I have to go for a CT scan. I'm waiting to hear when that will be, but it looks like it'll have to be in Pickering! Dr. Hibbert told me not to panic -- strangely enough he said it in a slightly panicky voice. So I went on the web and found all the nasty things it could be.

But you know what? I'm not worried. I'm just glad that we may be able to beat this pneumonia once and for all. The thing that panics me most is going to Pickering!

I’m tired of the waiting game. Let’s play Hungry Hungry Hippos!

Laugh? I thought I'd die!
For those just joining the show already in progress, I have a wee bit of pneumonia and I'm home sick for a few days. Plus today was my second round interview for the Dream Job®.

I am a make-up dunce. But somehow, the gods favoured me today and I used mosturizer, concealer and foundation to look absolutely dewy and glowing. My hair is perfect. I bought a designer blouse I've had my eye on that says "creative, but professional!" (not literally.)

My gym is in the same building as the interview. Brilliant. So I change at the gym. 5 minutes to spare! Up the elevator I go, hoping not to run into a woman I was supposed to meet yesterday and had to blow off due to the pneumonia.

The elevator doors open and there stands --- my boss's boss. The Senior VP. (he doesn't work in this building, but I guess he had a meeting) "What are you doing here? You should be home resting!" (Word seems to travel fast about my health)
Me: "I have a meeting."
VP: "With who? What could be more important than your health?
I muttered something, but I couldn't lie. I told him why I was there (he was very supportive). And told him I really was sick, not faking to go to the interview. I really hope he believes me. I like him and I wouldn't want him to think I was lying. But my face did look very healthy and wonderful. Arrrrrrghghghghggh!!!!!!

But the interview itself went perfectly, to make up for that horrible mortification. My prospective boss is wonderful. "You can have any software you want. And budget? Whatever you need to spend." I'll know early next week.

Yes! I hope the gods didn't waste all their good karma on making my- foundation apply evenly, 'cause I wouldn't mind a little help with getting the Dream Job®.

Mystery Science Theatre
A new plant has been developed that can detect nitrogen dioxide, a gas emitted by land mines. The plant's leaves turn red when exposed to the gas.

So far, the plant has been unsuccessful in detecting land mines, but the guy digging the holes for the plants is finding quite a few.

Pneumonia is freakin' well back, though it's still in its early stages. I may be better by Monday.

Sigh. I'm still going to the interview though.

Reader's Digest Condensed Tune On Tuesday
Hi Ho Hi Ho
It's off to Hibbert I go
I can't be late
Though he'll make me wait
Hi ho Hi Ho Hi Ho Hi Ho

Update.
Friday my stomach swelled to epic proportions. I looked like I was 7 months pregnant. None of my clothes fit. I had to wear knee highs to my hair appointment. Got lovely blonde highlights. Came home. Had fever.
Saturday: Slept.
Sunday Slept. Watch Queer Eye marathon. Lungs hurt.
Monday: Had to come to work to do some stuff. Got appointment for second round interview for Dream Job®! Hurrah! Need to make appointment with Dr. Hibbert to ensure I'm healthy enough for Thursday interview. Stomach is almost back to normal, but I still don't fit really well into business wear.

That's all. Life is good overall.