Guinness, Stubble and the Tooth Fairy
It occurs to me that if the Dental Surgeon manages to get any of my teeth out whole, I'm in for a big payoff from the Tooth Fairy. Maybe a G.I.C. even.

Speaking of which, I hope the Tooth Fairy is a drag queen and not that sickly sweet woman on that toothpaste commercial. I think the Tooth Fairy should have stubble. Kirstie Alley played the Tooth Fairy in some movie. She always looks like a man in drag to me. Although I do dearly love Pier One.

My mission in the next week and a half is to eat lots of chewy and crunchy things. Beer's not crunchy, but Guinness is a bit chewy.....