Ice Queen

2011-11-03T09:47:00.000-04:00

Here's a poem I wrote my Mom for her birthday yesterday. Maybe you will like it.

No. 2

this was a poem
about sparrows
fat and mud brown
puffy pinatas
full of bird seed and stuffing
stuffed with it

a poem about
dust battles and dry leaves
and commotion
about brown & grey
and candy wrappers
and crumb battles
and a day the colour
of gravy
of pencil lead
of November

but the sun crept into this poem
licking between the lines
slinking along the ligatures
soft on padded feet
bright and silent
as an e

the sparrows
like fleeing punctuation
rose and dotted the sky
all pauses and exclamation

now this is a poem about
a warm patch of sun curled with yellow yawns around the day

and dreams with wings

2011-09-18T06:05:00.000-04:00

The Amazing Kay Anderson, Your Friend!

Found her on Kijiji. This woman is so multi-talented, she will rid you of snakes, perform for your children, buy your house, pick up your dog poop and count your inventory. All with NO SMOKE BREAKS (during job)! Here are some exerpts from her ads, seriously, must be read to be appreciated:

End Snakes RULE! I will STOP them bothering You! Snake Guards! Safe for Children, Pets, keeps out snails and skunks, limits snakes so they leave on their own.. and will put money in my pocket and hair on your chest.. or something like that

Dressed as Woodesey the Elf: MAGIC! Show with Live Bunny! Kids enjoy helping work the Magic with FREE Candy Magic Shaker Wands! No Dangerous Blades, Fires, etc. Things like Here & Gone! Wet & Dry! Shrinking! & more Kids get to have fun.. eating potatoe chips

SNAKE PROOF Your BASEMENT & Yard! No More LEAKY Basements! NEW Construction System keeps out rats, snakes, mice, ants and insects from entering basement levels (with windows closed).Serious inquiries only.. cash in hand. $30,000 plus hst. Added fees apply if snakes in basement already. Installation time approximately 3-4 weeks conditional on city inspections.

ALL Types Wallpaper SALE! Just $28/hr! Plus Supplies

RACCOON REPELLANT Applied for You $50 plus HST

SAVE $100 On Your Next Accurate COUNT! Use OUR InventoryServices

Healthy! Drug Free! (& Non-smoking at least on shift!) No Smoke Breaks needed! Cooperative! Willing to wear Gloves, Hair Nets, whatever!

Accomodating! Kind and Polite! Will make needed changes without complaint!

Exterior Cement or Wood STAIR REPAIRS! No More Falling Apart!

Full Spectrum Fungicide - Algaecide our OWN mixture

Leaf Cleeaning

House Cleaning

Creative Tutoring! by K Anderson Just $25 for a 1st Session!

Teaching Techniques that foster INDEPENDANT Learning and Love of Finding TRUTH, KNOWLEDGE, and EXPLORING the WONDERS and MYSTERIES of The World are basic to my services.

BIRKS! Porcelain 3 Angel Set OCCUPIED JAPAN suspected!

Still in the BIRKS Box with Original Wrapping.. this set of 3 Porcelain Angel Figurines compete with Llandro and other FINE Porcelain Figurines. Each has the BIRKS Sticker on the bottom and is stamped "JAPAN". Waiting for BIRKS to get back with the documented info.. could be old enough to be Occupied Japan.. ? I doubt it but they will check for me. Just too new looking for that.. however.. we'll see what BIRKS say in writing! Meanwhile.. get it NOW for just the $125 plus HST!

Doggie Clean Up Services.. just $20 a Visit! Made in Canada ONLY Plastic Bags a bit larger than the pestilence carrying made in chine ones, filled to the tie. Before and After Photos of Totally BALD Yards from neighbors and family dogs..

HOUSE to Assume Payments Will Pay Seller $4,400 & RE

Check out all the ads in full here: http://toronto.kijiji.ca/c-PostersOtherAds-W0QQUserIdZ54453517

2011-08-30T10:22:00.000-04:00

For Stacey (the one who likes to cook, not the one who likes to bellydance)

Pumpkin Scones Recipe
INGREDIENTS:
2 cups all-purpose flour
7 tablespoons granulated sugar
1 tablespoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon ground ginger
1/2 cup canned pumpkin
3 tablespoons half-and-half
1 large egg
6 tablespoons cold butter

PLAIN GLAZE:
1 cup plus 1 tablespoon powdered sugar
2 tablespoons whole milk

SPICED ICING:
1 cup plus 3 tablespoons powdered sugar
2 tablespoons half and half cream
1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
pinch ground ginger

INSTRUCTIONS:
1. Preheat oven to 425 degrees F.
2. Combine flour, sugar, baking powder, salt, 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon and 1/4 teaspoon ginger in a large bowl.
3. In a separate medium bowl, whisk together pumpkin, half-and-half, and egg.
4. Cut butter into cubes then add it to the dry ingredients. Mix with your hand, rubbing the butter in until it is the texture of cornmeal or coarse sand.
5. Fold wet ingredients into dry ingredients, then form the dough into a ball. Pat out dough onto a lightly floured surface and form it into a 1-inch thick disk. Vut it into eight triangles, like a pizza, and seperate them a bit so they can spread.
6. Bake for 14 to 16 minutes on a baking sheet that has been lightly oiled or lined with parchment paper. Scones should begin to turn light brown. Watch them, they burn quickly near the end!
7. While scones cool, prepare plain glaze by combining ingredients in a medium bowl with an electric mixer on medium speed. Mix until smooth.
8. When scones are cool, use a brush to paint a coating of the glaze over the top of each scone.
9. As that white glaze firms up, prepare spiced icing by combining ingredients in another medium bowl with an electric mixer on medium speed. Drizzle this thicker icing over each scone and allow the icing to dry before serving (at least 1 hour). A squirt bottle works great for this, or you can drizzle with a whisk.

2011-05-11T09:28:00.000-04:00

In the immortal words of Mick Jagger: "I know It's only Cooking School but I like it!"

So I have spent two days at my new job and so far I love it and think it will be awesome.

For those who are still catching up, I sold the cafe and I am now running a cooking school at a big grocery store.

I'm off work today because I have to go in Saturday to observe three birthday parties and to meet some of my staff. But I will be busy today because I have to choose and book more than 50 classes. About 35 of them are kid's classes which I will probably teach myself, but the adult classes are run by other chefs. These chefs submit their class ideas and this Friday all of the Toronto cooking schools meet to pick chefs and times for the next six months. It's like the NHL draft and I hear it can get competitive, so I have to make sure I have choices and back ups prioritized.

Best part of new job: learning new recipes and techniques, flex time (sort of), variety, my own office with floor to ceiling windows (not in a traditional sense but I like it)

Worst part of new job: pants. Seriously, I had to go buy a pair. Dress code.

VIDEO BONUS: This kid is my inspiration: the wind beneath my wings!

2011-05-02T06:45:00.001-04:00

VOTE FOR MY CAT, LEO!

NOTE PHOTO: Full Disclosure! You don't often get that from a candidate!

He is a cat of colour (black*)
He is transgendered (fixed)
He has successfully run his own pest control business since 1999
He was born in the riding. His father was in retail (a variety store cat) and his mom was a stay-at-home mom.
He is a strong advocate of change, especially when his litter has that not so fresh feeling
He has 80 human years of experience
He is not into party politics. If we have a party, he prefers to hide under the bed.
He does not impose doctrine on anyone. Leo has no love for doctorin’, especially if it means getting poked with needles or having thermometers stuck up his behind.
He is not dogmatic. Occasionally catatonic.
Has only used catnip medicinally.
Won't slash any funding. He's declawed.

* Okay, he's not totally black. He looks black, but as you can see from the picture, he seems to have a white under layer. We believe he is a Smoke Cat, which is a rare fur colour mutation. We are also unable to produce his birth certificate, but swear he was not born in Kenya. He has also never had a massage; he hates having his belly touched.

2011-04-27T14:20:00.001-04:00

In Roman Holiday, there is a Vespa and no Cats are Harmed

So I changed the blog template to a gas flame from a stove. I thought maybe I should change my blog name to "Gas Queen" but.....

New topic: I hate the movie Breakfast at Tiffany's. HATE. I feel like I should like it, feel as if I lose some cool cred disliking it, but I do not like it, Sam I am! Here's why:

Tiffany’s is a boring store. If I were to gaze into a window, it would be Pet Smart, LCBO, Pusateri’s… yeah. Breakfast at Pusateri’s staring at the giant reserved wheels of Parmesan Reggiano. Swoon!
Sally Tomato, Sing Sing, Drugs
Refusing to name her cat.
Rusty Trawler
Mickey Rooney
Lula Mae Barnes.
Cracker Jack (cliche and the prizes are no good anymore, just stickers, and there are barely any peanuts now)
Brazil?
Holly throws the cat from the taxi into the pouring rain.

FULL STOP.

I don’t care if it’s just a movie. You don’t do that. EVER. Luckily, “Cat” was a consummate actor named Orangey who went on to win two “Oscars” (the Patsy, for animals) one of which was for his own movie Rhubarb BEFORE Breakfast at Tiffany’s so neener neener neener.

Moon River is okay, but only when Nelson Muntz is in the audience.

And I do love Deep Blue Something's song Breakfast at Tiffany's. Which always bothered me, until I found out that the movie he wrote the song about was actually Roman Holiday, but that didn't sound as good.

2011-04-18T06:34:00.000-04:00

You Can't Always Get What You Want
Have you ever rented a car? 90% of the time they don't have the car you reserved and they give you a different one. "Sorry, but we're out of compacts...but we've got an 8 cylinder Chrysler Behemoth instead!" What is the point of reserving if you don't get what you reserved? Can you imagine this happening in other businesses?

"Sorry, we ran out of roast beef sandwiches, so I brought you tuna salad."
"We don't have those jeans in a size 8, but here's a size 16!"
"We didn't have any blonde dye left, so I made you a redhead!"
"Well, we ran out of King sized bed rooms, but we have this great bunk bed room for your honeymoon!"
"I didn't know how to do that little Chinese character you wanted tatooed on your back, so I did Hello Kitty, but I gave you an extra large one to make up for it!"

Oh, and while I'm here, how does Just For Men haircolour know what colour to make your hair? They only have 4 colours! I wish I were a man just to see if it worked. I know I could try it anyway, but I don't have any grey hair yet. Not for lack of trying.

2011-04-14T09:22:00.000-04:00

Susan Clarke`s Violent Torpedo of Behavioural Interview Questions

I have several job interviews a week. Talking about my self for an hour at a time a few times a week feels like a version of Charlie Sheen's Violent Torpedo of Truth Tour. Love me. LOVE ME!!!!!!! I'm Awesome! "I'm tired of pretending like I'm not bitching, a total … rock star from Mars, and people can't figure me out; they can't process me. I don't expect them to. You can't process me with a normal brain."

And sometimes I feel like Tom from the movie Office Space: " I have people skills! I am good at dealing with people! Can't you understand that? What the hell is wrong with you people?"

It`s really exhausting talking about yourself. I begin to forget which anecdotes I have told and which bon mots I have used. I do enjoy dressing up in nice clothes again instead of bleach stained black cotton.

Most of the jobs are in Internal Communications for Megacorporations (because that`s how I roll, beeyotch!), but I did interview for (and would love) to run an instore cooking school. (Sadly the pay wold be much less, but it would be very satisfying I think). I ran across this and without talking too much about Charlie Sheen, I do like it and find it inspiration should I teach cooking:

2011-03-18T16:17:00.000-04:00

Boy, Boy For Sale, He's Going Cheap, Only Seven Shillings!

So Ice Prince and I have been hanging out for March Break. You may wonder what we've been up to. He plays a lot of video games. He's checkmated me at chess 9 times out of 10. And we're writing a book! It's going to be awesome. It's an ABC book about a mom who's telling her kid to go to sleep, but he keeps making noise and doing crazy things. Do you think R is for Rastarfarians works? Oh and this afternoon we (by his request) will be playing Iron Chef. The secret ingredient is.....ZUCCHINI!

So Ice Prince is 10 now and developing some major attitude. Is it his teen hormones kicking in? What if he's a teen when I hit menopause? Maybe I could take his excess hormones to replace my depleting ones. We could have a dialysis machine. Suppose that would work better with a girl teen...not sure I want testosterone, although maybe I might get a six pack. The only six pack I have right now can be returned for deposit.

(Real son, not as pictured.
That's Mark Lester)

Holy Cow P.S.! Mark Lester portrayed Oliver in the movie from which the title of this post was taken. Well guess what!
"Lester was a close friend of Michael Jackson from 1982 until Jackson's death in 2009, and Jackson chose him to be godfather to the children. In August 2009, Lester gave an interview to the British tabloid newspaper News of the World, claiming that he could be the biological father of Paris Katherine Jackson, the late singer's daughter. Lester claimed to have been a sperm donor for Jackson in 1996, and announced that he was willing to take a paternity test to determine whether he was the father."

OMG, everybody!

2011-03-15T06:48:00.001-04:00

A-ha!

So Charlie Sheen has not yet responded to my intern application and yesterday was the deadline for his reply. Guess it's back to banks and insurance companies for me.

Oh! New internet sensation Rebecca Black's video Friday is making the rounds. Have a listen. Oh, please do, it's worth it. It'll make you feel like it's 1985 again! Now... do you think it's better than Robin Sparkles? It's Video Smackdown!

2011-03-01T16:23:00.000-05:00

Misery Bear Goes to Work

This made me laugh. I think the sandwich was my favourite part.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/clips/p00dxtxf/misery_bear_misery_bear_goes_to_work/

2011-02-28T06:08:00.000-05:00

Today is the first day of my next (yet to be determined) new adventure

So it's 5:45. Normally, I would be catching the first subway train to the cafe right now. Instead, I'm watching Mary Tyler Moore reruns in my housecoat. Don't worry, I won't become lazy and luxurious. I'm heading in to the cafe around 8 am and I'll hang around a bit to make sure Silvia's doing alright. Then I will be heading to Ice Prince's school to watch him compete in the public speaking finals! This is amazing because:
1. I have the freedom to attend something in the middle of the day!
2. Ice Prince is excelling in public speaking! (Okay, to anyone who has met him, this is no surprise whatsoever. Getting him to STOP talking about stuff he loves would be an achievement.)
3. He actually wants me to go despite my ongoing threat to bring a foam finger.

5:55 am and I wold normally be turning on the ovens and mixing the muffins. And I'm sitting here in my housecoat watching Mary Tyler Moore. I'm going to turn on some coffee (yes, the same Reunion Island coffee, once you try it you can't go back).

It's raining outside, which I love. (Raining inside, not so much.)

I read in the Eye Weekly paper that a 39 year old elephant at the Toronto Zoo was euthanized because she had arthritis in her feet. If anyone from the Toronto Zoo asks about me, please pretend you haven't seen me. Thanks.

2011-02-03T13:40:00.000-05:00

So maybe you're here because you saw that the Cafe was closing and you wanted to keep in touch with me, Susan, as I ease back into civilian life. Welcome!

I used to blog daily before we opened the cafe. I'd lke to get back into it.

I am currently interviewing for jobs in Internal Communications Management, which is what I spent 10 years doing. I've had two face to face interviews I am pretty psyched about, so we'll see how those pan out.

Feel free to dig around in the archives. I'm a little verklempt. Talk amongst yourselves.

2011-01-12T18:45:00.000-05:00

Back, like a Bad Rash.

So I'm back blogging. It's been about two years. So what's happened in the meantime?

I turned 40. With little fanfare. I wanted fanfare! But we were busy..
I opened a cafe. It's wonderful, it's horrible.
My older cat died (Mel).
My younger cat got older.
Ice Prince turned 10.
I got one grey hair which promptly fell out. No more followed.
I haven't dyed my hair ONCE.
I chopped off all my hair. Then I grew it back.
I lost weight. I gained weight. Lather, rinse, repeat.
I lost contact with many friends. Which makes me sad.
I laughed, I cried. I went through all the emotions. It was much better than Cats..

Anyhow, I am in a period of reinvention. I have a secret. (We've sold the cafe. Sssshhhh....We'll be announcing it soon.) So I'm looking for a new job. Anyone need me?

Oh, there are lots of reasons involving money and time and security and stuff. I'm mostly okay with it, although it is bittersweet.

So, we're caught up now. How have YOU been? You're looking good. Have you been working out?

2011-01-10T10:35:00.000-05:00

Ice Queen is Back! And talking about...SPORTS?!

The bitch is back, so let's start off slowly, shall we?

Why do they have fights in hockey, but not so much in other team sports? Is it because they drop their gloves to signify the start of a fight and other teams sports don't require gloves? If two soccer players got in a fight, would they only be allowed to use their feet?

These are the questions that keep me awake at night.

2008-02-12T18:38:00.000-05:00

Again.

2008-01-31T18:21:00.000-05:00

Ice Queen a hit on Cheezburger!

Checkout de funniez.

2008-01-20T23:14:00.000-05:00

Save your forks, 'cause we got apple pie

This is what I made in Baking class. It rocks, eh? One step close to Freedom 55, where I open my cafe: Bisous. Investors welcome. Meanwhile in about a year, I plan to freelance, supplying desserts to local cafes.

2008-01-19T09:26:00.001-05:00

Nothin' in My Noggin!
So it's Saturday and I'm in the in between period between the old job and the new job. I finished everything well, so I don't have any worries about unfinished projects. And all I know about the new one is I'm on a project team that will start meeting in February. So right now there's nothing much in my brain, and it's a weird feeling. And I get a laptop, and possibly a RIM.

So at my farewell lunch yesterday, someone said they would miss my counter culture subversiveness. (Hey, in a bank it's not that tough to be quirky.) I hope the new department appreciates that. Maybe I should be a freelance subversive. I'll try not to wear the tiara on the first day, otherwise I'm just going to be myself.

Reminder to all that my 40th birthday is on New Year's Eve, so be prepared to receive an invitaion to something in about six months. I probably won't do it on New Year's Eve proper because everyone always claims they'll be available, and the no one is when it rolls around. So plan ahead! I'm only going to turn 40 once. Also any party suggestions are welcome.

Okay, Colin tells me that our board game intermission is over, so I have to go.

2008-01-17T11:31:00.000-05:00

My Gift To You: Steven Banks

I made this list for a friend at work, but I will share:

Because you tube only allows you to put up 10 minutes of video per part, this is divided into 7 parts. It was first broadcast as a one hour special on HBO in 1989. Watch in order. SO funny, especially if you like old rock and rock. Even Colin thought it was hilarious.

Fun fact: Since 2004, Steven Banks has been Head Writer for SpongeBob Squarepants. He is also best friends with Penn from the gross-out magic duo Penn and Teller.

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

Part Four

Part Five

Part Six

Part Seven

2008-01-17T09:30:00.000-05:00

I’m With the Band
Meme from Joey the Accordion Guy, via lots of other people
How to make you Dadaist hypothetical album cover.
1. The first article title on the Wikipedia Random Articles page is the name of your band.
2. The last four words of the very last quotation on the Random Quotations page is the title of your album.
3. The third picture in Flickr's Interesting Photos From The Last 7 Days will be your album cover.
4. Use your graphics programme of choice to throw them together, and post the result.

I don't have time to make the links. Go to Joey and get them.

Here’s mine and it ROCKS! What are the odds of me getting a female band name, a female quote and a female picture? It’s fate! I must start this band. What’s YOUR album cover?

2008-01-16T07:22:00.000-05:00

Ice Prince Dances!
The song he is dancing to is The Pie Song from the movie Waitress. I began singing it to him as a lullaby and he loves it.

2008-01-14T09:02:00.000-05:00

Take This Job And…Pack It In Big Plastic Boxes To Move

Welcome to my last week at my job. I have loaded my mp3 player with lots of related songs and I thought, “Why not share the bounty?”

So if you would like one of my “Ice Queen Moves On” CDs, leave me a comment in the message board, including the one thing you think I should do during my last week here. The track list is eclectic, to say the least.

And if you’d like to recommend any songs about leaving, starting over, moving on, etc, please do. Always looking for new stuff.

Speaking of which, thanks to the people on Facebook’s Compare People who voted me Best Body, but what’s with not voting me Best Taste in Music? Doesn’t everyone appreciate 80’s music and novelty songs?

Oh, yeah, the new job. Still at the Behemoth. Still Communications Manager, new department. Extra week of vacation. Little bit more pay (probably amounts to a Grande Skinny Mocha Latte per week, which I must add are fantastic and only 90 calories at Starbucks. )To be located near St Patrick Station. So if you have any lunch or shop recommendation for that area (Art Gallery, Queen West) bring ‘em on.

In other news, my new camera has a half decent movie camera, so I may try a video post one of these days.

One last thing: We saw the movie Once on Saturday. You must see it. The music is amazing, especially “Falling Slowly”. It seems very Kevin Fox-esque. Which is a good thing.

2008-01-10T11:57:00.000-05:00

Quitting: Not Another New Year's Resolution
I have a bad habit of thinking twice about quitting.

I remember when I quit my Master’s (Library and Information Science) I felt so guilty. I can’t quit something! That’s just wrong! I’m weak. I’m a bad person. No one will respect me. Turns out everyone cheered when I quit – no one thought I was the librarian type.

So I have a week and a half (less) until I start my new job and I’m feeling the same feelings. Yes, it’s the right decision. Absolutely. But I still feel like a quitter. Will they survive without me? Of course! It wouldn’t be as much fun around here, but I am planning on posting a photo essay on my cubicle entitled: “Hair today, gone tomorrow: A retrospective of Susan’s hair colour and weight over the past 10 years.”

So what else has happened since we last spoke? Chef School ROCKS. I got an A in Food Theory and I completed Southern Italian Cooking (an no-grade course.) Next up: Basic Baking which I start on Sunday. I figured that it’s easier to freelance with baked goods than with Hollandaise. Although I do love the term “monter au beurre” – it sounds dirty!

For Christmas I got a set of Lagostina pots and pans and for my birthday I got a big ass red enamel Kitchenaid roaster. It’s like a work of art!

I have managed to stay out of the Forest of Darkness, although I got pretty close right before New Year’s. So far 2008 is shaping up to be great, so I think there are no worries there.

More later. I have to start the new posting somewhere, right?

2007-10-05T10:26:00.000-04:00

Merry Catmas from The Office
Catmas is the brainchild of evil genius Joey DeVilla

2007-09-27T10:42:00.000-04:00

He Who Smelt It, Dealt It
Guess where I went to high school?

2007-09-25T10:03:00.000-04:00

There but for the grace of God go I
Some poor temp is in for a crappy day.

2007-09-25T09:48:00.001-04:00

Did I mention?
Big long post coming, probably tonight. It's half done, but I was busy last night. You know. Going to Chef School.

Guess what the post will be about?

2007-09-10T10:53:00.001-04:00

Wit and Wisdom of the Ice Prince
Yes, I start Chef School tonight. And Ice Prince wishes I would shut up about it. The first words out of his mouth this morning were “You’re going to Chef School today! I thought I’d better say it before YOU did. AGAIN.”

Anyhow, as he grows up, he’s becoming a very interesting person. Everyday he tells me he loves me. And every day at some point he says, with total sincerity :”This is the BEST day of my whole LIFE!” What a great attitude, eh?

The other day he saw a pigeon.

IP: Hi Pigeon! Where are you from?
(Pigeon squawks and flies away.)
ME: What did he say?
IP: He’s from Australia.
ME: What a long way to fly. His wings must be tired.
IP: Naw, he took the Pigeon Train.
ME: I guess that makes him a Passenger Pigeon! Ha!
IP: (gives me a blank “My mom is such a dork” look)

And another conversation:
IP: Some people make fun of brown people just because they’re brown, but I don’t think that’s right.
Isn’t that great? Sometimes I think I have no clue what I’m doing as a parent and then he says something like that that make me think I must be doing something right.

2007-08-23T09:13:00.000-04:00

Friends...with benefits?
This one, which appeared in the Metro subway newspaper this morning, had me laughing out loud. I'm still giggling.

2007-08-03T10:17:00.000-04:00

WTF? CityTV Weather Report

2007-08-03T09:47:00.001-04:00

My $3000+ sushi lunch with Wendy

I had lunch with Wendy on Wednesday. She told me that she’s quit her job because life is too short to do something you don’t love. I agree. But I can’t quit my job.

So I thought about it, and I’m going to take part-time Chef training at George Brown College.

The way I figure it is even if it doesn’t pan out I’ll have lots of cool new equipment and some great techniques.

If it does pan out, I’ll be looking for investors in my restaurant. Start saving your money now!

(I sure hope I look good in the chef uniform. It's PANTS! *shudder*)

2007-07-27T18:18:00.000-04:00

New post coming soon! Maybe! I'm pretty sure!

2007-06-07T14:18:00.000-04:00

A Room of One's Own or Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?
The Straight Eye for the Home Office Makeover is proceeding apace. The walls are "Truffle Oil" and the trim is boo boo paint. You know, when they tint it wrong for someone so they put it in the sale bin. The boo boo paint has no name, so I have christened it "Ice Prince's Chocolate Pudding Lunchbox Explosion". Which is very accurate.

I thought it would take three gallons to do the room, but one gallon will do two coats. Apparently when I was doing the calculations I also calculated the fourth dimension. New from Martha Stewart: "Space Time Continuum paint: for those who can't stand to have their colours not coordinate in all dimensions". It's a quantum leap in decorating technology!

Do I sound more like me? I feel more like me. I start back to work half days on Monday. Not too nervous. The first week should be easy. Buy me lunch, Terry? Your turn!

Monday, Frank is taking me to the Rufus Wainwright concert. Hurrah!

Still working on the new blog name.

2007-06-05T09:34:00.000-04:00

What's Up? Nothing Much.

I have decided on a colour for the home office. It is "Truffle Oil". I'm waiting for the rain to stop to head out to Canadian Tire with my bundle buggy.

The house is clean. Ish. Okay, the main floor is clean. My empty frog tank is staring at me. Yes, my frogs all died in a tragic accident. I will be getting more next week. They are buried in the backyard under a wee cast iron frog statue.

I am addicted to gardening. Everytime I go to the corner store I buy more plants. Which is nice, because I always wanted time to make my garden beautiful. I'm still working on the back garden. I have tomatoes! And carrots!

Last night after I put Ice Prince to bed I was singing along to my mp3 player with headphones on when IP yelled downstairs: "Sing louder! That's really beautiful!" I've always loved singing. I'd love to take some lessons. I really need to do that.

I think the rain has stopped. Time to go to Canadian Tire, which is almost as much fun and as tempting as Shopper's Drug Mart. Whee!

2007-06-04T09:38:00.000-04:00

What's New: The Queen is Dead, Long Live The Queen
Kind of a stressful weekend. Ice Prince drives me crazy sometimes. For those who are childless, here's a zefrank video that gives you a taste. Only louder, continously and starting at 6:30 am.

I'm going back to work (part days) next Monday, so this is my last week of freedom. Which is why it's raining. I'm almost done my new song, just stumped on a few lines.

I think I'll be renaming this blog. I don't feel very Ice Queeny anymore. Anyone have any suggestions? I have a couple of ideas.

I will also be relaunching my cheapspot.to site, because writing to deadline for blogto is more extra stress than I need right now. But I still like reviewing things.

Stay tuned more posts to come!

2007-05-31T07:38:00.000-04:00

New Song Coming Today!

But for now I have to go pack Ice Prince's lunch. Hope I give him the right juice box...

2007-05-18T09:52:00.000-04:00

Almost "Normal"
We are now exiting the Forest of Darkness. Please wait until the ride has come to a complete stop before unbuckling your seatbelt. Please ensure you have all your belongings when leaving the forest. Thank you for choosing the Forest of Darkness for your nervous breakdown needs. If you enjoyed your visit, please consider visiting our partner sites: Melancholy Mountain, the Pond of Petulance, Lake Wobegon, and Oshawa.

2007-05-01T09:50:00.000-04:00

Photo Essay: Things That Make Me Smile

FROGGY

LOST TOOTH
MR. GRUMPY THE SIAMESE FIGHTING FISH

YES MASTER

FROGWARTS CASTLE

2007-05-01T09:22:00.000-04:00

I Like To Watch
Maria's movie debut "Lovable" is on TVO tomorrow night at 10 pm. I'm going to watch it. It debuted a couple of weeks ago on the big screen and now it's on the small screen. Hope Maria remembers us little people when she's famous. (Be patient, she says she's on about an hour into it.)

2007-04-30T10:14:00.000-04:00

Where Am I Going and What Am I Doing in This Handbasket?
Hello!

First of all, thanks to Boomer for buying me lunch on Thursday. I got all flustered and panicky and forgot to say thanks.

So our taxes are done, the sun is out and the frogs are active. Yes, I have frogs. They are in a tank right next to where I sit in the living room. African Dwarf Frogs, which are entirely aquatic and adorable. Pictures to follow. I also have a Siamese fighting fish on the mantel now (Mr. Grumpy) and some fish in the kitchen nook. My therapist says "Starting a relaxing hobby is great, but should you be getting involved with things that die easily?" When the first frog died, I was devestated, but I got more frogs and it's better now. When it's harder to tell them apart and they're all named "Froggy", it's easier.

What else? I got a bike tune-up and a basket. I got some beads and jewlery making supplies (a hobby that doesn't involve death or worms - nice). Ice Prince is doing well in school. He's been made a Prefect. Talk about the inmates running the asylum. Oh, maybe that's a bad analogy. Anyhow...

Frank had his birthday last week, so it's been one year since Frankstock. Wow. Suzapalooza is coming in about 18 months. Not sure what it will involve, but it ill be grand.

My hair is brown. Ish.

Frank took me for a really nice dinner out to Opal Jazz lounge. He totally surprised me. I love surprises!

I have a nice spring wardrobe of sundresses and such. Being on leave from work, I realized how little I had in the way of "casual" clothes. And in case you're wondering, yes I still wear nylons at home. I'm wearing some right now, but they're flesh coloured. That's casual for me.

Things are getting better, but I'm still not great in public. So hang in there and I will be back and socializing and lovely. Hey, this is my first real blog post, so kudos to me!

Thanks to everyone for their comments and e-mails. They mean a lot to me.

2007-04-25T09:52:00.000-04:00

The Cat's Away

2007-04-16T09:25:00.000-04:00

Accentuate the positive, medicate the negative
Dear friends,
I have been diagnosed with depression and I am on leave from work for several weeks.

It's rough, but it will get better. Bear with me and thanks. I'll probably begin to blog more again when I'm up to it. I certainly don't want to bore you with tales of my journey through the forest of darkness.

Oh, and rent Bon Cop, Bad Cop. It's a great movie.

2007-03-22T09:08:00.000-04:00

This is a Test of the Emergency Broadcasting System
I'll be back soon. Just dealing with some stuff.

2007-03-06T13:32:00.000-05:00

Chez Ice: Meth Lab In Disguise?

Here are some signs that there may be a meth lab in your neighbourhood (courtesy of National Defence Canada):
A cat urine-like smell CHECK!
Rusting of stainless steel - maybe
Areas of dead vegetation CHECK!
Brass pipe fittings that have turned blue - huh?
Excessive amounts of waste, including bottles CHECK!

But sadly, no. I have no revenue generating hobbies.

2007-02-26T18:26:00.000-05:00

Testing, 1-2-3...Is this thing on?
Sorry for the slow posting. The blogto thing has been keeping me busy (my first restaurant review, Tuesday! Which might be today, depending on when you're reading this!) and I've been blue lately. Really blue. Possibly even indigo. Even though things are really going pretty well for me. Except for doing the work of 2 and a half people at work, but at least I'm not being laid off. Probably some sort of pinot noir deficiency. Fresh and I are planning on a getaway this weekend with food and wine and a jacuzzi,. Self-medicating. Anyhow, one of the few things that makes me smile these days is zefrank. Especially this. Enjoy responsibly, at home or with the headphones on. Safe for work, but singing involved.

Also, one of my favourites of all time: Steven Banks. Start with Home Entertainment Centre #1 and work your way through (the order matters, there is SOME plot.) Bloody brilliant. Again: singing involved.

2007-02-23T10:44:00.000-05:00

Breaking News

I've been busy, possums!

Instead of my beloved Cheapspot TO, I will now be blogging for blogto.com.

Saturdays (starting tomorrow) I will pontificate on Cheap Stuff. Tuesdays, I will explore Cheap Eats.

Got a tip for me? E-mail me at susan@blogto.com

So far it's been lots of fun. And I've even got a bio on the About page now.

In other news, Ice Prince is sick today. "I need to be abstinent from school today, Mommy!"

2007-02-14T14:28:00.000-05:00

Can't Blog. Clowns Will Eat Me.

2007-02-13T09:33:00.000-05:00

New

New Cheapspot TO.

New hair.

New battery in my mp3 player.

Some old freezing bloody cold. Come back, Spring! All is forgiven!

2007-02-10T09:21:00.000-05:00

Baby Did A Bad Bad Thing

2007-02-08T19:06:00.000-05:00

New Cheapspot TO post!

And thanks to Jamie for the shout out.

2007-02-08T08:58:00.000-05:00

Takes After His Mum, He Does
Ice Prince had to sit on the bench during gym today because he couldn’t find one shoe. I expressed dismay.

“It’s okay, Mommy! You get to watch people do the hard sit ups and when they have to run in circles, you get to wave at them like this (IP demonstrates smug smile and the Queen’s wave).”

The shoe magically appeared when gym was over.

I suspect a letter home any day now.

New Cheapspot coming soon! Delayed by purchase of cheap digital camera batteries which died almost immediately. My bad.

2007-02-06T08:39:00.000-05:00

The Fellowship of the Phoenix
So Ice Prince is big into Harry Potter these days. I was watching Lord of the Rings the other night and holy cow! It’s the same thing!

Harry = Frodo
Ron = Sam
Merry and Pippin = Fred and George Weasley
Aragorn = Sirius
Gimli = Hagrid
Legolas = Hermione
Dumbledore = Gandalf
Voldemort = Sauron
Wormtail = Wormtongue
Invisibility cloak = ring
Dobby = Gollum
Whomping Willow = Treebeard

Etc Etc Etc

We could also compare to Star Wars, with Harry as luke, Ron as Hans and Hermione as Leia.

Discuss.

Now on Cheapspot TO: Part One of "Valentines Day for the Romantic yet Parsimonious"!

2007-02-02T05:30:00.000-05:00

More of Me To Love
For now, I'll be doing a lot of posting at Cheapspot TO (http://cheapspotto.blogspot.com), my new consumer blog for real people who don't spend $300 on a pair of jeans. Lots of content so far and I'm really enjoying it. I fixed the commenting on it too, although it's more of a website than a blog.

Go! Enjoy! And tell a friend!

2007-02-01T06:26:00.000-05:00

New From The Makers Of Ice Queen!
I subscribe to the Sweetspot newsletter. I read some of their site and liked it and asked to be put on their mailing list.

Since then, I have been receiving e-mails about $525 purses (sorry “leopard skin pony bag”), $179 foot massagers and how about this:

“Edgy Jewelry's flawless stones boast precision cuts and D colour - the cream of the crop. A two-carat shiner is a mere US$360 (allowing us spending room to dream of exotic honeymoon locations), and a tennis bracelet is less than US$600 (and says happy birthday to us!).

With accessible sticker value so close at hand, the words "I do" and "I definitely do for me" sound better than ever before.”

Accessible, my ass!

That’s why I’m starting up Cheapspot TO. The site for people who have no money, but still like to buy stuff.

Maybe I am cheap!

2007-01-30T09:17:00.000-05:00

You Know You've Been Blogging Too Long When
You find yourself using html code/tags when writing a memo in Microsoft Word.

2007-01-29T19:02:00.000-05:00

Well, not really very hairy. I mean, Harry.

Prob NSFW, although quite tasteful.

2007-01-29T13:29:00.000-05:00

Business-Related! Kind of.

Steve, My Fav Business Blogger, discuss Bluetooth:
I hate these people because they confuse me. I’ll be waiting in line for a sandwich, and someone behind me will say, “I’m about to get a sandwich.”

And I’ll look around and see the person standing there by himself and assume he's talking to me, and I'll think: “Well, me too, Rainman. This is, after all, the sandwich line.”

I love this guy. He’s irreverent and rude and non-PC and very funny. And he knows his communications stuff too.

Check out the archives. My fav so far is: Putting Things in Perspective

2007-01-26T09:00:00.000-05:00

Best Subway Paper Quote of the Day
"The Oscar Winning Actress was trying to escape zombie-like creatures on the hood of the Jaguar when the crash occurred."
--from Kidman in Car Crash

2007-01-24T13:36:00.000-05:00

Gators would be an improvement.
It's been a weird 24 hours. And not weird in a fun "hey, these aren't my shoes, why are there gators in my bra" kind of way.

More later.

2007-01-22T13:37:00.000-05:00

Mish Mash I Was Taking a Bath
Veggie Challenge is over and wasn’t all that challenging. I enjoyed writing the song and discovering Holt Renfrew’s baked veg samosas, but otherwise – meh. (Oops, just unwittingly ate vegetarian lunch. Whever.)

So now let’s talk about more fun stuff. Like my new obsession with Harry Potter movies and books (had read some books before, but not seen the movies) and the fact that I took Ice Prince swimming on Saturday which was loads of fun. I also feared I had lost my cooking mojo, but perhaps it doesn’t turn out all well when I don’t taste the non-veg items.

Did you know one of my favourite things in the world is a hot bath? Seriously. Sometimes I think it would be decadent to mix favourite things, with mixed results:
Bath + wine/champagne = good
Bath+ paper back book = excellent
Bath + hard cover book = soggy for days
Bath + Fresh = NR17 rating
Bath + cookies = soggy
Bath+ coffee = odd
Bath + cat = pleasant with 15% chance of cat falling in and serious injury
Bath + sponge = chore
Bath + radio = perm
Bath + candle = overrated
Bath + toothbrush = efficiency like in Cheaper by the Dozen we read in Grade 5. (not the Steve Martin movie which I haven’t seen.)

What do YOU recommend I try mixing with a bath for that Crazydelicious experience?

2007-01-19T13:50:00.000-05:00

You May Touch My Monkey
Dinner last night:
Baked Veggie Samosas from Holt Renfrew Cafe

Breakfast:
Oat squares

Lunch:
Veggie California Rolls

Yawn. I tire of this Veggie Challenge. Too easy.

Now is the time on Sprockets when we dance!

2007-01-18T09:07:00.000-05:00

New Song in the Ice Queen Sings Pantheon!

A song about the Veggie Challenge, to the tune of Turning Japanese:

I've got a challenge, I've got a challenge
Maria says Veggie for a Week would be swell
I want to prove I can do it
It’s good for my insides as well
It’s got me eating squash and eating peas and eating corn and eating cheese

Oh yes
I'm eating beans and cheese I think I'm eating beans and cheese I really think so
Eating beans and cheese I think I'm eating beans and cheese I really think so
I'm eating beans and cheese I think I'm eating beans and cheese I really think so
Eating beans and cheese I think I'm eating beans and cheese I really think so

No beef, no lamb, no veal, no chicken
No shrimp, no sushi, no crab, no wonder I’m weak
Everyone around me's eating tasty dim sum
Everyone avoids me ‘cause I’m rather windsome

And yet I'm
Eating beans and cheese I think I'm eating beans and cheese I really think so
Eating beans and cheese I think I'm eating beans and cheese I really think so
I'm eating beans and cheese I think I'm eating beans and cheese I really think so
Eating beans and cheese I think I'm eating beans and cheese I really think so

2007-01-17T09:26:00.000-05:00

Who’s peeking out from under a staircase?

So the Veggie Challenge is fine. Yogurt with granola for breakfast. But there is one problem. It’s a bit indelicate. Let’s just say that if my body were an orchestra, the wind section would be experiencing some problems. Probably detoxifying or some such thing. Anaerobic something or other.

I share, because I care.

2007-01-16T15:22:00.000-05:00

Crabby Says
Regular reader and sometime contributor Crabby sent along a link that you may have seen bits and pieces of before, but in its entirety with commentary, it’s a work of art:

Maybe there are some good ideas for the Veggie Challenge?

2007-01-16T12:10:00.001-05:00

If it’s Tuesday, this must be Belgium
This morning I was in a lather because I couldn’t remember if it was Day 4 or not.

You see, at Ice Prince’s school, the day’s activities are dependant on what “day” it is. The days are on a 5 day cycle. Some of you may remember this from your own salad days.

For instance:
Day One: Find out that last Friday yours was the only kid to not show up with an empty paper towel roll and five green pipecleaners, as per a request that is probably currently biodegrading under a puddle of Danone Minigo, banana/strawberry flvour.
Day Two: Child is scheduled to leave one item of clothing at school to be unearthed in Lost and Found in May, when item will no longer fit anyway. Choose from the following: underwear, mitten or glove (1), hat, boot (1).
Day Three: Gym. Ensure child is wearing new pants that you bought one size bigger for him to grow into so that they will fall down when he is running around, A fact that all of the girls will remember in Spring 2018 and refuse to go to the prom with him.
Day Four: Library. Bring books.
Day Five: Ensure child gets nothing for breakfast except two oatmeal cookies (oatmeal…breakfast!) so that when they do today’s unit on nutrition, he can write “cookies” under the What I Had for Breakfast heading.

Turns out it’s day three, so I made sure he was wearing his new Spider-man y-fronts. They’re cool! Hopefully, he won’t lose them when day two rolls around.

Bonus question: what does the post title have to do with Jack Tripper?

2007-01-16T09:01:00.000-05:00

Pardon the Dust
Just goofing around here. deleted my haloscan comments by mistake, etc. etc.

2007-01-16T06:43:00.000-05:00

Day Two of Veggie Challenge
Yesterday afternoon I had way too many cashews (there was a giant tray of FREE cashews in the mail room! How could I resist? Mind you, now that I think about it, it sounds a bit too good to be true. Maybe they were poisoned...like a humane way to cull the herd. Mmmmmmm...poison jumbo cashews....). For dinner, I had vegetarian california rolls (with a red pepper where the "crab" normally is, and they were pretty good), some oven fries I had made for IP's dinner and some homemade oatmeal cookies (butter + sugar +oatmeal = Crazydelicious!)

So far so good.

2007-01-15T13:09:00.000-05:00

Lunch: Day One of Veggie Challenge
Lunch out at Saigon Sister where I had cold spring rolls (avocado and tofu) and coconut mushroom soup (no chicken).

Not bad! And tasty too.

2007-01-15T10:24:00.001-05:00

Fun After All
Holy freak, Daylight Saving Time is much more exciting than I imagined!

Saskatchewan, and parts of Quebec and BC don’t adhere to it. Neither do Arizona or Hawaii. Don’t you think that would get confusing?

Supposedly, it saves millions of dollars in energy because we use less lights. Cool, eh?

They don’t say “Spring Ahead, Fall Back” in Britain, because they don’t call it fall, they call it autumn.

DST has its detractors, who say it messes up sleep patterns and a British politician expressed concerns over inheritances: "Supposing some unfortunate Lady was confined with twins and the first child was born 10 minutes before 3 o'clock British Summer Time. The time of birth of the two children would be reversed. …Such an alteration might conceivably affect the property and titles in that House."

Benjamin Franklin was the first person to allude to the benefits of DST, but he also flew a kite in a lightning storm, invented the urinary catheter, and wrote an essay called “Fart Proudly”, so no one listened to him about it.

2007-01-15T09:28:00.000-05:00

Day One of Veggie Challenge
Bowl of oat squares with skim milk for breakfast. So far so good!

Unfortunately, I made a big pot of chicken soup last night using some leftovers. Perhaps I’ll freeze it. It smells so good!

A Challenging Year
I’ve decided that 2007 should be the Year of Challenges. Each week will be assigned a new challenge. It can be a week long thing or a one day thing.

Challenge me in the comments: I need 49 more!

Wolf Blitzer’s new job as Weather Network Copywriter
THE BATTLE BETWEEN THE MILD AIR WELL TO THE SOUTH AND THE INVADING COLD ARCTIC AIR OF WINTER FROM THE NORTH IS NOT OVER….WINTER WILL FINALLY WIN THIS LATEST BATTLE WITH THE MILD AIR AS THE STORM CENTRE RACES OFF INTO NEW ENGLAND THIS EVENING.

Stupid freezing rain kept me awake all night – it was like psychological torture: tap tap tap tap taptaptaptap taptap tap taptaptap.

Argggggggghhhhh!

Fun Fact.
Did you know that Daylight Savings Time is starting in March now? Yeah. I have to send out a memo about it.

Okay, maybe that fact wasn’t so much fun. But we’ll appreciate coming out of the darkness sooner.

2007-01-11T16:21:00.000-05:00

Wine’s Vegetarian, Right? And Beer? No Prob!

I am joining Maria on the Veggie Challenge to go vegetarian for one week. I don’t think it will be a big deal. I tend to eat differently from Fresh and IP since my diet last summer, so making an extra meal’s not a prob. IP’s pretty much a vegetarian anyhow. He eats a lot of almonds.

Anyhow, I’m really just doing it for the challenge.

I’ll post what I eat here, so you can check in on me. I’m not going vegan, though.

Start date is Monday.

2007-01-11T09:37:00.000-05:00

They were the best of times, they were the worst of times
The Office is on tonight. Seriously, this is my favourite show. Sister Stacey should especially watch it as the boss reminds me of a certain someone we used to work for who, on my first day there, sent me to a warehouse on King East to pick up a package of worms for the office composter.

This is the same boss who, when my manager happily announced she was pregnant, said “At least you can get an abortion in Canada.”

He also called me on boxing day to ask why I wasn’t at work.

He also cut all of our pay in half one year, right before Christmas to keep the business afloat. It did work. We were restored to normal by February.

There must be more stories about that office. I remember the brown mouse lived under the brown file cabinet and the grey mouse lived under the grey one.

And I remember the fantastic pranks we used to pull. And the silly things we did, like Glamour Day. And the whip. And the three hour beer lunches (hey, when you’re getting paid half, motivation pretty much goes out the window.)

It really was a fantastic job, because I was allowed to do things that by all means I was totally unqualified to do – Like be the Production Manager. Seriously: receptionist to Production Manager in two years. Not bad!

Okay, my original point was: watch The Office and love it. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry.

2007-01-10T09:03:00.000-05:00

I Had a Dream

I had a dream last night that Lisa and Bart Simpson and I managed to steal a computer. We somehow faked an order, or charged someone else – I don’t know how. Dreams are vague on the details.

Lisa and I managed to change the order to TWO computers and she took one off to college with her. (Incidentally, she’s very pretty as a real person, with long blonde hair. And dresses like Jackie-O.)

I was with Bart when he got the waybill. (Bart kinda looked liked Jonathon Lipnicki from Jerry Maguire, but a bit older.) He was feeling guilty about stealing one computer, but flipped when he saw that the order was now two and the second went to Lisa. Kind of out of character, I thought.

What do you think it all means?

I’ve been stressing out about the vagueness of my promotion/demotion/no motion here at work and I’ve been sleeping very strangely.

By the way, Apu has always been my favourite on The Simpsons, but I am seriously into Duffman these days. OH YEAH!

And another thing: nothing like saying I'll post once a week to suddenly increase my desire to post before Monday. I'm so contrary!

2007-01-09T09:09:00.000-05:00

Things Are Afoot

Seriously considering changing to one a week Super Big Gulp posts. Work getting crazier. I'll let you know which day will be post day (probably Mondays), and I'll make them extra good and long. Because who doesn't enjoy that? (That was rhetorical, but feel free to answer if you like.)

2007-01-03T18:39:00.000-05:00

The persistance of hope
I thought I'd lost the chance at a promotion, but it may still exist after all.

I only wish my head would clear of Christmas cold so that I could wow them.

Tonight: Chateauneuf du Pape and rib eyes for courage!

Send me your good vibes! (And Boomer too, he's going for a promotion with the same boss. Yes, it's part of our plan to run the behemoth.)

2007-01-02T15:57:00.000-05:00

Oh! Hi! I didn’t see you there.

Can't believe it's back to work already. I don’t really feel like I’ve had a holiday. I've had a nasty cold. The most holiday-like time was my birthday (Dec 31) when I got dolled up and Fresh and I went out for a fantastic dinner. Sigh. It was so nice. And I looked so good!

Ice Prince’s birthday, on the other hand… Well, if you’re ever considering having children, I will lend you a copy of the video. Wow. We were, however, smart enough to not serve the cake until 15 minutes before they were due to be picked up. IP had an amazing time and got lots of presents and was very happy, so mission accomplished.

My New Year’s resolution is To Drink More Water. Which I think is quite reasonable.

Fresh gave me a gift card to Kitchen Stuff. I spent lunch hour pondering how best to use my newfound buying power. I think I will be purchasing:
A beautiful heavy sauté pan. Purrrrrrrrr…..
A set of six colourful mixing bowls
Measuring cups and spoons
A pepper grinder (the cat knocked the other off the table and broke it)
A Ginsu carving knife and fork.

And I couldn’t find it at Kitchen Stuff, but I will be getting a remote-read digital meat thermometer. Because I’m worth it.

Fresh also got me this book. Ice Prince told his Nana “Daddy got Mommy a book about laundry for her birthday!”

2006-12-31T13:20:00.000-05:00

Having a SUPER holiday. How about you?
Your results:
You are Iron Man
Iron Man
Inventor. Businessman. Genius.

80%
Superman

75%
Supergirl

75%
Spider-Man

70%
Wonder Woman

70%
Inventor. Businessman. Genius.

Green Lantern

70%
Hulk

55%
The Flash

50%
Robin

40%
Batman

35%
Catwoman

35%

Click here to take the "Which Superhero are you?" quiz...

2006-12-29T07:13:00.000-05:00

Ice King: A Hunka Hunka Burning Polyester
I don't know how he managed it, but Rannie's got the portraits from last night's Hawaiian luau up already. Here's me.

We had a great time and I picked up the Desparate Housewives game I won in the Million Giveaway. Hey, am I re-entered for linking it again?

2006-12-27T09:56:00.000-05:00

We do not appear to be amused.
Welcome back! Did you have a good holiday? Mine was insane. Seriously, I’m happy to be back at work where things are lovely and peaceful. Now that my brain has been emptied of the grocery and present lists, I have room for the usual insanity. Let’s catch up, shall we?

James Brown Has Died
I guess he didn’t feel so good after all.

At The Christmas Pageant
Ice Prince: Daddy, are there only two of those?
Fresh: The angels? No there are more there, see?
IP: No, I mean those two bald guys over there! (pointing at the pews)

IP: Did the baby Jesus grow up to be a thoughtful man?

IP was also royally pissed that he got bread at communion but not wine. “Why can’t I have the wine?!” Good thing I didn’t tell him it was the blood of Christ. “How come I can’t have any blood, Mommy?! I want the blood too!”

No one comes out of the closet Chez Ice
I spent yesterday putting together a futon I bought at (shhhhh) Walmart. It’s quite lovely, although altogether too big for the guest room. Oh well. We didn’t need to open that closet anyway.

Heartwarming Story
It seems that young Ice Prince still believes in Santa Claus. When we got home from church on Christmas Eve (yes, church, hush up), IP quickly put out Santa’s brownies, insisted on fewer bedtime stories, told Fresh and I we could only give him one hug and kiss and no talking and then dismissed us saying “Go, go! I have to get to sleep!”

Christmas morning, Santa brought IP some spider-man toys, a robot and a Giant Tiger. When IP spotted the tiger, he immediately ran to get MY present from him. “But don’t you want to look at what Santa got you?” “No, open yours!”

It was a stuffed tiger. “I bought it with my own money! I know how much you love tigers!”

Now what kid would rather give his mom a present than open or look at his own? I get all misty thinking about it!

(Don’t worry, he quickly turned into the present opening machine we all know and love.)

Okay, more later. Plus I’ll be at Rannie and Jay’s party tomorrow (probably straight from work), so I’ll see you there! Gotta go find some Hawaiian clothes at lunch. I bought Fresh a real Hawaiian shirt last week – perfectly tacky!

2006-12-22T09:33:00.000-05:00

Just wondering.
Is it wrong that Barbra Streisand is singing a Christmas song about enjoying a honey baked ham?

2006-12-20T15:38:00.000-05:00

Watch for the Queen's 2006 Christmas Message -- NOW ON VIDEO!

I have just purchased a Sony Handycam.

Will I use my new found live-action powers for good or evil?

Will you have to put up with a weekly video blog from me?

Does the idea excite you or make your feet sad?

Discuss.

2006-12-18T13:12:00.000-05:00

And everyone wore their own shoes home. For a change.

More later, but to suffice it to say, with our friends, good food, good wine, rubber and feathers, how could we have NOT had a good time at our party on Saturday?

Thanks for coming and for those of you who couldn't attend, I'll try to pick a boring weekend next time. Like March or something.

2006-12-14T10:36:00.000-05:00

Quick post
Busy, busy, busy! You want to catch up with me? Come to our soiree, this Saturday.

But I shall share something from You Tube that will make you giggle. Prerequisite: A familiarity with the movie Office Space.

Enjoy the link.

2006-12-12T10:32:00.000-05:00

We’re going to party like it’s two weeks ‘til 2007! Which is infinitely better than partying like it’s 1999! And with more exclamation points!

Yes, I’ve been neglectful. There’s been a lot going on. Oh, no big deal, really. Just having my fragile little ego stomped.

But hey, you don’t need to hear that. We’re having a PARTY on Saturday and YOU are invited! (Didn’t get your e-vite? Let me know!)

Dress code: Whatever, as long as it’s fabulous. And I wouldn’t have invited you if you weren’t fabulous. Goodwill’s having a 50% off sale tomorrow, so who knows what I may end up wearing.

And don’t forget to bring you instrument if you play one. I expect later in the evening, we may sing. Come early if live karaoke frightens you.

Don’t drink and drive! Taxis are plentiful! (Another good reason for me not to have a birthday party on New Year’s Eve.)

Oh yeah, and you get to see my new hairdo. Or as Ice Prince said “Hey! You’re wearing the wrong hair, Mommy!”

Speaking of which IP and I took the train to Ottawa last weekend. The train rolled into the station.
Me: We’re in Ottawa!
IP: But it looks just like home!
Me: What were you expecting?
IP: I thought it would be all Chinese! With sushi!
Me: It was a long train ride, but it wasn’t THAT long.

2006-12-01T11:14:00.000-05:00

And something bitter and full-bodied for me
At the coffee shop I had to smirk when the tiny South American woman in line behind me ordered a Small Colombian.

2006-11-28T13:04:00.000-05:00

Oooo! Controversy on a Tuesday!
Today Defective Yeti has a photo up that is causing some controversy. Is it funny or very sad?

Exhibit A: On my 10th wedding anniversary, Fresh and I went for our first overnight without Ice Prince (then 6 months old). I was fine until the next morning when I saw a shot of a baby crying in a movie still. It broke my heart that they made baby unhappy to film a scene.

Exhibit B: When Ice Prince was 3 and a half, we took him to Sears for a portrait. It was the worst experience. He cried, I cried. He yelled, I yelled. I have post-traumatic stree disorder just thinking about it.

Exhibit C: I neither laughed nor cried when I saw the Yeti photo. I suspect it was not staged, but just snapped. Mainly I thought, “Oh those poor parents!” If it was staged, yes, I’d be pissed.

2006-11-24T13:34:00.000-05:00

I'm baaaaaaaaaaack!
I'm feeling much better, thanks.

I've been sick all week. And no, I didn't have any tequila at Maria's party. I did manage to get my backpack I left at her house, which is good, considering I usually leave clothing.

Speaking of which, last night on The Office (which I love), Michael (the boss) is riding home drunk in the back of Pam's car when he suddenly says mournfully "These aren't my shoes." Those of you who attended my 30th birthday party will find that amusing.

2006-11-21T09:32:00.000-05:00

Par-tay! Yes, this means YOU!

Disclaimer: Party guests may not be exactly as pictured.

Oh yeah, I'm not having a birthday party this year because it's so hard to get people out on New Year's, so instead Fresh and I are having a Holiday Open House on Saturday December 16th. We haven't picked a time yet, is 4-8 better or is 8 to whenever better?

Anyhow, book it and be there. I'll provide food, you provide booze. Remember to bring an instrument, as the evening will probably eventually degenerate into some sort of singing and playing thing, as usual.

More later.

2006-11-21T09:07:00.000-05:00

Nobody’s better than Rannie….NOOOOOO-BODY!
You haven’t seen my photo up yet at photojunkie.ca because Rannie has been busy, getting prizes for all of us!

Yes, it’s Rannie’s One Million Giveaway Extravaganza

There’re some rules at the bottom about how you can be eligible to win a prize. You can leave a comment or blog about it, or link.

I hope I win a Photojunkie print. Seriously, I love this stuff. Especially the fall photos.

Go poke around and feel the wonder that is Rannie—Photojunkie.

(P.S. Sorry we missed you on Sat.! Do I get extra ballots for compliments?)

2006-11-17T10:46:00.000-05:00

Six Impossible Things Before Breakfast
I am having an amazing fabulous fantastic day and I just thought I would share that with you.

Only one thing at the back of my mind...should I get my hair cut? Coloured? Leave it alone?

2006-11-15T13:34:00.000-05:00

Sushi Train

Radio Guy and I went to Sushi Train on Yonge, where we enjoyed lunch. It was great fun with lots of things to play with. The conveyor takes the plates around and you choose. We sat at the bar and Chris managed to impress a Francophone woman seated next to him with his fluency.

Watch the video and hum "It's a Small World After All" while it plays. Shortly after the video finished, a bottle with a glove on it went by.

Kidding. I'm kidding.

2006-11-15T10:01:00.000-05:00

Skirting the Issue

Today at lunch, Chris the Radio Guy will be receiving his Skirt Poem.

I am quite pleased with how it turned out and may turn Denim Skirt Poems® into a new sideline career.Who'd like to buy a Denim Skirt Poem®? Jean Poems® also available.

(Sorry, Mini Skirt Poems® available in haiku only.)

2006-11-14T12:37:00.000-05:00

The Ice Queen Endorsement

Sorry it's a little late, but my household was supporting Spider-man for City Council.

Because Spidey acknowledges that "with great power comes great responsibility".
He is both "friendly" and "neighbourhood".
He's "brilliant but lazy".
Green Goblin already warned him that "No matter what you do for them, eventually, they will hate you." Sounds like politics to me!

VOTE SPIDEY!

2006-11-01T06:57:00.000-05:00

Smells Like Hallowee'n: A Quick Recap

Our gracious and deciduous host Eva. she brought us all goody bags. Thanks, Eva!

Undead Jamie. he drove us home. Thanks, Jamie!
My dead husband.

Maria and me (Courtney Love.)

2006-10-31T09:19:00.000-05:00

Class all the way at my house, baby!
So Ice Prince and I made chocolate covered strawberries first thing this morning for him to take as his class party treat today.

He didn't have breakfast this morning because he filled up on chocolate covered strawberries. But don't worry -- I made sure he drank some champagne to ensure a balanced meal.

(See the spider tattoo on his arm? Cool! Like his apron? My idea, she says modestly.)

2006-10-30T09:24:00.000-05:00

JS Bonbons. Perhaps that will be my stage name.
I always used to love Kazaa, but have finally tired of having to delete all the extraneous adware.

What do y'all use to download music?

Our costumes are all set for tomorrow. If my mom lets me out of the house dressed like that. Last night we carved the pumpkin - dubbed "Shark Boy" by Ice Prince.

Tonight I am going to a networking event where we learn to make chocolate with JS Bonbons. Those of you who know the Ice Queen will know that I do NOT like to make small talk - this is all about the chocolate.

What else, what else. My mom's birthday is Thursday. She wants a sea theme. I was thinking about getting a fish in a fishbowl as a centrepiece. I'd like a fish, and it would make a good first pet for IP. Or a good appetizer for Leo the Cat. What wine goes with guppy?

2006-10-27T12:50:00.000-04:00

Chips and dipwad

Having problems coming up with a costume idea? Help is on the way at this site.

Here’s a quote:

“Allow me to inspire you: One year, I went as a bag of chips. I used two pieces of white cardboard and drew the Humpty Dumpty cartoon character, and my friend "rippled" a round piece of cardboard and went as a chip!”

Err…on second thought, maybe you can come up with better ideas on your own.

2006-10-27T09:38:00.000-04:00

Smells like Love!
So Eva has initiated a blogger's Halloween pool party at The Rivoli at 8 pm on Tuesday. Fresh and I will be there, dressed as Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love. A guitarist and a trashy train wreck. Some will say typecasting, to which I say - well, duh!

Seriously, you don't want to miss that, do you? Wanna come too? Sure! Just let me or Eva know, so that if we turn out to be a gang of 40 or 50 people we can plan ahead. I think Maria's coming too. I think she should knit herself a costume -- THAT would be cool. Maybe she could come as her lost mitten.

Bonus Track: Smells Like David Miller 2006 Remix (Original from 2003)

A piece on the ol' blamblog inspired a new tune. Brett pondered: If Miller looks like a mayor and thinks like a mayor, does he smell like a mayor? The Icicle Fief went straight to the Ouija Board to ask the world's foremost expert, Kurt Cobain:

Load up on Pez and
Bring your friends
No fun to lose
I won’t pretend
I don’t just run
To pay the rent
Got to go meet
Some constituents

Hello, hello, hello, hello
Hello, hello, hello, hello

Must admit I’ve got great hair
Here I am now
I’m your mayor
Though Babs thinks it unfair
Here I am now
I’m your mayor
They’ve been hintin’
I’m like Clinton
Eating Cheetos
In my speedo
Yeah

Babs got worse, failed the test
And for this gift I feel blessed
She’s pretty cute though, she’s no hag
She vaguely looks like me in drag

Hello, hello, hello, hello
Hello, hello, hello, hello

Only ran on a dare
Here I am now
I am your mayor
Look sincere, like I care
Here I am now
I’m your mayor
Don’t like jets
Don’t incinerate
Reduce murder
Have some burgers
Yeah!

And why am I
So squeaky clean?
Use Irish Spring
And some Brylcreem
It was hard to find
Oh well, whatever, nevermind

Hello, hello, hello, hello
Hello, hello, hello, hello
Not like Thatcher, more like Blair
Here I am now
I’m your mayor
Did I mention, my great hair?
Here I am now
I’m your mayor
Jane's a pitbull
Drew is pitiful
How 'bout Bob Rae?
(Oops, wrong race, eh?)
Yeah, a denial
A denial
A denial...

2006-10-26T12:07:00.000-04:00

Well, I have heard you should rub a puppy's nose in it to teach him...
I really think this product was not well thought out.