Sunday, January 29, 2006

Beach Baby, Beach Baby, Don’t Eat the Sand…
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Friday, January 27, 2006

Sniff
Know why I sneezed? 'Cause I was getting SICK. Fresh comes back from 57 days on the battlefield and I'm SICK.

Oh well, it's Friday. I should be better by the weekend, right? Right?

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Achoo!
I just sneezed. Man, sneezing feels great. And you can do it at the office in front of your coworkers without fear of reprise. Woo! What a rush!

I think I'll go buy a snuffbox.
Now Excuse Me While I Go Finish The Other Eight Tasks I’m Working On
Found this test. Amazing how some of these are so accurate, eh?
Enneagram
free enneagram test

Type Seven
The Enthusiast
The busy, productive type. Sevens are extroverted, optimistic, versatile, and spontaneous. Playful, high-spirited, and practical, they can also misapply their many talents, becoming over-extended, scattered, and undisciplined. They constantly seek new and exciting experiences, but can become distracted and exhausted by staying on the go. They typically have problems with impatience and impulsiveness. At their Best: they focus their talents on worthwhile goals, becoming appreciative, joyous, and satisfied.
Elections Are Hard on Families.

“Hi, my name is Stephen Harper. I’m the incumbent candidate for Dad in this household and I hope I can count on your support.”

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And no, you CAN’T click on it for a video clip. That’s just a screen shot.
A Breath of Fresh Air
There is so much excitement going on in our house.

Ice Prince is on the verge of READING and WRITING. He despised both before Christmas, but suddenly KABOOM, the kid is telling me what letter every word I utter begins with (“You’re driving me INSANE with this!” “Insane starts with the letter ‘I’, Mommy!”) and he’s sounding out words in his story books. He also demanded a book on skeletons and organs “so I can see where something goes when I drink it.” The book I got actually shows the digestive system in rather gory detail. He’s disgusted, but fascinated. “Look at the meatballs!” “Those aren’t meatballs, that’s poo.” “Poo? Really? Cool!” Today I am charged with bringing home a book about space from the library. His printing and spelling are improving. He knows how to spell both Yummy and Mommy, which can, of course, be used together to describe me.

In other news, Fresh is finished with the election and will be home tonight! He also might be offered a new job soon…the employer asked for a reference from his boss, who – of course- has been a teensy bit busy. But they are connecting today so we shall see what may come of that. And some interesting (good) rumours about Fresh’s boss, which I shan’t reveal here (I don’t like to repeat gossip, so listen carefully the first time.), although if you read the Globe and Mail you’ll see.

I’m just happy to have Fresh back.
Ice Queen's Endorsement
Say what you will about him, I applaud Paul Martin on announcing his step down from the Liberal Leadership in his concession specch. It showed dignity and class.

You could also say that he saw the writing on the wall (of course he did) but by stepping down now, we avoid months of Liberals scheming about how to get him out. Now they can get on with the scheming to be the new leader.

And for new leader? I think McKenna is the right choice.

Opinions expressed on this blog are those of the Ice Queen and do not necessarily reflect those of her employer, her husband or her husband's employer. Although they might. Who knows?

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

The Meme of Four
Tagged by Eva

Four jobs I’ve had:
1. Parts Girl at an Auto Parts Shop
2. Daycare Assistant
3. Assistant Manager at Laura Secord (chocolate and ice cream shop)
4. Clown

Four movies I can watch over and over:
1. Caddyshack
2. Ladyhawke
3. The Wedding Singer
4. Meatballs

Four places I have lived:
1. Glencoe
2. London
3. Kitchener
4. Toronto

Four television shows I love to watch:
1. Queer Eye (first 15 minutes are the best when they insult everything)
2. The Daily Show (first 10 minutes before boring American guest comes on)
3. Sex and the City (I know! I’m sorry! I don’t know what’s come over me!)
4. The Mercer Report

Four places I have been on vacation:
1. Greece
2. Newfoundland
3. Key West
4. Scotland

Four of my favourite dishes: (Dishes? That implies preparation. Let’s see..)
1. Red wine braised lamb shank served over orzo
2. Rare tuna with ginger shitake mushroom sauce
3. Beef tenderloin with port sauce
4. Blueberry pancakes with butter, syrup and sausages

Four websites I visit daily:
1. The Sneeze
2. Spamusement
3. Cockeyed
4. Epicurious.com

Four places I would rather be right now:
1. Asleep
2. In the bathtub
3. Receiving an award for something
4. Spain

I’m not tagging anyone, mainly because it’s the end of the day and I’m too lazy to hyperlink you.
Where Have All the Commenters Gone?
Look, if bums, boobs and pussycats pontificating on politics don't strike your fancy, then I got nothin'.

Monday, January 23, 2006

Cats and Politics. Hot damn, now I'm a REAL blogger!
IQ: I’m here reporting to you live from the Icicle Fief deep in the heart of East York, where an epic election night battle rages between Jack Layton and his moustache.
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Tonight, as we wait for the polls to close at the ungodly hour of 9:30 pm, we will be discussing the issues with our panelists Melody K. columnist at the Globe and Tail, and Leo Tolstoy , Political Analyst at The National Purrs. Thank you both.
Mel: You’re welcome.
Leo: A pleasure, as always. (purrs)
IQ: Let’s start with you, Leo. What do you see as the stand out issues in the 2006 campaign?
Leo: Well, as a cat of altered gender, I feel that the Conservative government would not only put a kibosh on same sex marriage, but on no-sex marriage.
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IQ: That’s funny, I though the Conservatives were all FOR no-sex.
Mel: Ahem!
IQ: Yes, Melody. What do YOU think was the most important issue in 2006.
Mel: Obviously, we cannot ignore the issue of the decriminalization of catnip.
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Leo: rolls his eyes
Mel: But what really grates on my nerves is all these kittens running around with claws.
Leo: I suppose you support declawing.
Mel: Naturally. As a house pet, I believe our claws are entirely unnecessary.
Leo: So you prefer mutilation.
Mel: Looks who taking, eunuch-boy.
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Leo: It’s not like I signed up for this. It was hardly necessary, with you as the only female cat in the house, there was NO temptation.
Mel: Oh yeah? I also want to go on record against methodone clinics.
Leo: Hey, man, don’t slam the clinics!
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Mel: Freebasing Little Friskies again, are we?
Leo: I don’t have to take this kind of abuse. I find pieces of cats like you in my stool. This discussion is over.
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IQ: And there we have it. Another cat fight masquerading as commentary. We now return you to your regularly schedule Apocalypse.

UPDATE:
Leo: Now that a conservative minority has been officially declared, I hereby challenge Harper to compose a cabinet with proportional representation for transgendered cats of colour, such as myself.
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Ice Queen VOTES!
Welcome to our live Election Day coverage. We at the Icicle Fief are predicting a Conservative Minority. Let’s go to our correspondent Ice Prince for commentary. Ice Prince? What are your thoughts on a Conservative government?
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Thank you, IP, for that insightful report.

Later on, we have a panel discussion with my cats Leo and Mel. We couldn’t get Jean (sorry…Jian) Ghomeshi. He had an appointment for a colonic irrigation.
My Canada Includes:
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Pagan Bellydancers
Librarians
Grammarians
Girls Who Want to Feel Other Girls' Boobs
Men Who Brunch
Cartoonists Who Like Poo
Kiwis
Barristas
Scientists
Jewellery Designers
Moms Who Have Lives
Robots
MBA Graduates
And YOU! (no, not YOU, Conrad Black!)
Ice Queen Election Day Special

I think I blogged about this ages ago, but most current readers won't remember, so enjoy! Again, maybe!

My family moved a lot when I was a kid. About every two years. No, I wasn't a military brat, I think they just got bored easily.

Anyhow, we moved the summer before I started Grade 8. To Glencoe! Being painfully shy, I decided the best way to make new friends was to run for student council president.

I made posters. I gave a speech in front of Grades 6 to 8 (my voters). And miraculously, I won!

I saw this as my gateway to popularity. Strangely, I did not end up popular. But it was still an ego boost that got me through my formative years. How could I be a loser? I had been elected President!

5 years later in high school, I met someone from my public school. She had been in Grade 6 at the time.

"I remember you! You were the Student Council President!"
"That's right, I still can't believe I won."
"Well, the Grade 6s only voted for you because you were the only one who had boobs already."
"Whaaa-?!"

The truth hurts.

Friday, January 20, 2006

It’s 1988 in Da Fief
I’m having coffee dejà vu. I’m drinking Rwanda Coffee of Hope from Second Cup and it tastes like 1988. Seriously, if I close my eyes and sip, I’m a freshman at York sitting in a drafty theatre watching Jennifer take her top off in Performance for the third time this semester to “get into character.” Being a theatre major was like being in the movie Fame: the tears, the late nights, the mean profs, the tights (guys too, it was the rule that you had to wear tights to performance class. Most guys--including Fresh-- had a story about their fathers questioning their masculinity upon finding said tights. Now that I think about it, I don’t remember anyone in theatre being gay. Well, okay Sky Gilbert, but he was about 5 years ahead of me. I was about to say Keith Cole too, but I think he was actually in film, although he was on my dorm floor in 1st year.)

I looked up the top songs from 1988 and whoa, THAT was a real flashback. I listened to the radio a lot back then (I got a car that April). I mean, just LOOK at this. Can’t you just picture what you were wearing? I was really big into animal prints at the time. I had a fake snake skirt and a bunch of zebra accessories. And a sort of mullet-like haircut. In a kind of garnet colour. What did Fresh see in me? Well, he had slicked back hair and a Don Johnson suit, so maybe we were made for each other.

Ear worms, for you. Enjoy:

1. "Need You Tonight," INXS
2. "Look Away," Chicago
3. "Roll With It," Steve Winwood
4. "Every Rose Has Its Thorn," Poison
5. "Got My Mind Set On You," George Harrison
6. "So Emotional," Whitney Houston
7. "Seasons Change," Expose
8. "Baby I Love Your Way/Freebird Medley," Will to Power
9. "Could've Been," Tiffany
10. "Never Gonna Give You Up," Rick Astley
11. "Sweet Child Of Mine," Guns 'n' Roses
12. "Get Outta My Dreams, Get Into My Car," Billy Ocean
13. "The Flame," Cheap Trick
14."Giving You The Best That I Got," Anita Baker
15. "Waiting For A Star To Fall," Boy Meets Girl
16. "Hands To Heaven," Breathe
17. "How Can I Fall?" Breathe
18. "Anything For You," Gloria Estefan & Miami Sound Machine
19. "Wishing Well," Terence Trent D'Arby
20. "Hungry Eyes," Eric Carmen
21. "Wild, Wild West," Escape Club
22. "Hold On To The Nights," Richard Marx
23. "Man In The Mirror," Michael Jackson
24. "Love Bites," Def Leppard
25. "Where Do Broken Hearts Go," Whitney Houston
26. "One More Try," George Michael
27. "Groovy Kind Of Love," Phil Collins
28. "Father Figure," George Michael
29. "Bad Medicine," Bon Jovi
30. "Don't Worry Be Happy," Bobby McFerrin
31. "Devil Inside," INXS
32. "Pour Some Sugar On Me," Def Leppard
33. "Simply Irresistible," Robert Palmer
34. "Hazy Shade Of Winter," Bangles
35. "I'll Always Love You," Taylor Dayne
36. "Endless Summer Nights," Richard Marx
37. "Naughty Girls (Need Love Too)," Samantha Fox
38. "Angel," Aerosmith
39. "The Way You Make Me Feel," Michael Jackson
40. "Foolish Beat," Debbie Gibson
41. "Tell It To My Heart," Taylor Dayne
42. "Red Red Wine," UB40
43. "Together Forever," Rick Astley
44. "Kokomo," Beach Boys
45. "Monkey," George Michael
46. "Shattered Dreams," Johnny Hates Jazz
47. "I Don't Wanna Go On With You Like That," Elton John
48. "Make Me Lose Control," Eric Carmen
49. "She's Like The Wind," Patrick Swayze & Wendy Fraser
50. "Make It Real," The Jets
51. "The Loco-Motion," Kylie Minogue

Thursday, January 19, 2006

An In Joke
For those of you familiar with my maiden name and who know my mom’s name and the fact that Ice Prince calls her Nana, THIS is absolutely hilarious.

Otherwise – eh, not so funny.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

I Love the TTC
You were expecting a picture of me on the banner, weren't you?

Psych!

Did you know that my grandfather used to drive the St Clair streetcar? S'truth!
>>GO READ DEFECTIVE YETI
Those of you who are 30 and over will appreciate this most:

A Text Adventure Game

Remember those? I had the Hitchhikers one on my Commodore 64. Seriously! "There is filthy Dentrassi underwear here with holes."
Ready for My Close-Up
I am sooo excited about owning a digtal camera. I have lots of new ideas for the blog now.

How about you? What would you like to see pictures of? Hmmm?

Haven't heard back from the job interview. I suspect she simply didn't like me. Ever get that feeling? Not everyone appreciates the Ice Queen® brand of zaniness. And of course the interview was riddled with "Tell me about a time" questions. I hate those. I can never remember anything.

Hey, I know! If you were interviewing a candidate for a job, what question would you ask them that you think would speak volumes about them?

Monday, January 16, 2006

Shameless Plug
This is the song that freaked Ice Prince out.

Want one of your own? Go here.
Life will never be the same again.

My new baby. I pick her up on Wednesday.

Sigh. I've waited so long!
Star Gazing
I'm a bad blogger for not giving all the links for the post below. I repent and give them here. Enjoy.

Jen
Jen
Eva
Brett
Maria
Chris
Shelley
Robot Johnny
Stars on 45
So I met Shelley on Friday night. She is even prettier in person. She had never had chicken wings before. Apparently, they don't serve them in New Zealand. And she thought the carrots and celery on the side with blue cheese dressing were hilarious.

I also met Robot Johnny, or as Maria put it: “OH MY God! YOU’RE Robot Johnny?!”

Yes, it was an evening of star gazing. Eva was our host. I sat with Jen and Jen. And Brett showed up after I left. Kind of like Polkaroo, eh? Why are Brett and I never in the same place? Hmmmm? Coincidence?

Maria starting saying lots of quotable things. One story began “I used to have a thing for cows….” And another was “My mother ate my dog.” “Your dog?” “No, my duck!”

Maria gave Ice Prince a CD of kids songs that have his name in them. I put the CD on. The guy on the CD said IP’s name. IP looked up. Then the guy on the CD said, “Ice Prince, do you like playing with trucks?” “YES!” yelled Ice Prince. “Ice Prince, do you like playing on the computer?” “YES! Mommy, HOW DOES HE KNOW ALL THIS ABOUT ME? HOW DOES HE KNOW?!”

Maria, Ice Prince owes you a thank you (see below) and you owe him a few years of therapy for messing with his little mind. I wish you’d been there when he heard it. Where’d you get it?

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Friday, January 13, 2006

Mommy Needs Two Hands To Lift Her Pint

I’ve been watching Sex and the City reruns, and I kind of like them. Actually, Carrie is the chracter I like the least.

Crabby and I got into a discussion about which characters represent us. I figured Miranda was me, and then I found this quote which confirmed it:

Samantha: I'm so sick of these people with their children. I'm telling you, they're everywhere! Sitting next to me in first class, eating at the next table at John Schu— [A child runs by.] Look at that. This place is for double cappuccinos, NOT double strollers. [Glances at Miranda.] I'm sorry.
Miranda: Hey, no need to apologize. I wouldn't bring Brady here. Mommy needs two hands to eat her eight-dollar cake!
Charlotte: You're not going to defend children?
Miranda: No, I don't like any children but my own.

New Wit and Wisdom of the Ice Prince Things

IP: Nana, I know a word that starts with the letter “M”!
Nana: What’s that?
IP: Yummy!
Nana: Yummy doesn’t start with “M”.
IP: Sure it does! rubs tummy Mmmmmmm……yummy!

IP: Mommy, kiss me:
I kiss him, he falls backwards on his bed
IP: Whoa! My brain is full of love!

IP: Psst, know what I do when Nana does something I don’t like? I come down the stairs with my pants off.

Thursday, January 12, 2006

That's 21 in Dog Years!
Oh, by the way, I missed my bloggiversary. It was my third on January 7th.
Welcome Shelley!
I was thinking about Shelley last night, since I am going to meet her tomorrow, and realized that I know pretty much nothing about New Zealand. I decided that I should do some research.

Like Looking In a Mirror
New Zealand is very much like Canada. We both have the same Queen (me), a Governor General and a Prime Minister (theirs is a woman). In the Quality of Life Ranking, Canada is 14th, new Zealand is 15th. We also both have a big honking tower with love handles, but theirs is purple.
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Some things, though, are different:

Some facts from Wikpedia
Lord of the Rings and Xena were filmed in New Zealand.

There are no snakes in New Zealand.

Scottish influences are strong (hurrah! – IQ), mainly in the southernmost parts of the South Island. In general, early immigrants from other parts of Europe and Asia, and World War II refugees (particularly the Dutch(that means you, Eva – IQ)) were readily assimilated. (Resistance is futile!-IQ)

Many people have claimed that non-M?ori New Zealanders have no culture.

The three "R's" of New Zealand culture are Rugby, Racing and beeR

Favourite saying: “She’ll be right, mate.”

New Zealanders are practical people and generally dislike intellectual pretension. Academics are not highly valued in New Zealand culture, and people who get their hands dirty and muck in are appreciated more. An insult directed to people seen as too theoretical is "intellectual wanker”

Good on ya, mate!
Prostitution was decriminalised, the legal drinking age is 18, legal recognition is given to lesbian and gay relationships, as well as providing heterosexual couples with an alternative to formal marriage. New Zealand also has one of the world's most liberal attitudes to the migration of gay couples.

Ask the Kiwi
Now it’s your chance, gentle readers, to suggest questions you would like me to ask Shelley to further your understanding of New Zealand. Bring it on!

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Nothing in my Noggin
I am so sorry. My brain is blank. Fresh is busy with the election, I'm going out for beers with Eva and to meet Shelley the Kiwi Blogger on Friday. Everything I'm wearing today is purple. Yes, even my shoes. I'm up for a new job here at the Behemoth, we shall see what may come of that. There's been a typo on Hotmail for two weeks and it's driving me insane. And that's about it. Nothing pithy or amusing. Just wanted to let you know that I haven't forgotten about you. Thanks for dropping by.

Thursday, January 05, 2006

Little Miss Popular!

As of this morning, I have two and a half parties on my schedule for the next month.

I feel like I'm 31 again!
Think Your Family Is Crazy?
The lady behind me on the bus was relating her Christmas:
“My mother-in-law bought me a bathroom scale as my gift. And she made my husband pee off the porch because she was worried about the septic system. And we had to shower at the neighbours house (who were away).”
I felt like turning around and saying, “Congratulations, you win.”

Who Is It?
You believe in him even though you’ve never seen him. There are many stories about him and many different versions of that story. He portrayed as kind and loving, although you are expected to be on your best behaviour for full rewards.
a) Santa Claus
b) Jesus
c) Snuffalupagus
d) Polkaroo
e) Your CEO

Beating Off
I’m officially learning the bodhran. I spent an hour last night trying to strike the skin at the right angle with the beater. It’s hard, but possible. It’s better, once you’ve learned the technique, not to concentrate too much. Maybe someday you’ll get to hear me play! Bodhran players are quite often considered hacks because anyone thinks they can play a drum. Here are some jokes about bodhran players.

I also bought myself a tin whistle. I can play the intro to Rant and Roar so far, and that’s about it.

Next up: The Button Accordion!

My So-Called Life
Fresh came home last night after work. (Late, the campaign has ramped back up again.)
F: So what did you do tonight?
IQ: I practised the bodhran. And then I watched a CBC pilot called This Space for Rent, which was pretty good, and at the end they had a skill testing question to win a Vespa so I went online and entered. I'm going to win a Vespa!
F: Sounds good.
IQ: And then I ate an apple.

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Booze, Bis and Tattoos. My Birthday is Complete.
Can get enough of birthday-y goodness?

Go see Maria for a conversational post recap of the evening.

You also get to see Fresh and Boomer. And Martin (but not his face.) And Eva who appears to have a wine glass that's bigger than her head.

Monday, January 02, 2006

Birthdays, Bodhrans, but not Bono
So for my birthday, my parents got me a bodhran, This is exactly what mine looks like, from the back. I love the carving on the edge.
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I have to learn to play it – it seems easy, but it is kind of tricky. Especially for someone with no hand-eye coordination like me.

Fresh gave me some gift cards and tickets to see the guy in the photo below at Massey Hall. No, not Bono, Ron Sexsmith! If you aren’t familiar with his work, I recommend Gold in them Hills.
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Okay, and so there was my birthday. My guests could better describe it, I’m sure, but it was a small elegant dinner party. Maria wore a gown, which you can see on her site. We also had Eva and Boomer and Martin (who we never did remember to nickname) and Fresh, of course. Ice Prince refused to come meet everyone. Dinner rocked and the wine rocked (especially the Pinot, rwwooowwr!). I got some very cool presents (in fact part of Eva’s will probably make up my new 2006 banner). There was music. And the birthday tree – which read “Happy Bi” because the banner was partially broken.

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(Photo by Fresh.)


Thanks to all my guests for a great time!

We missed those who couldn’t make it, so hopefully we can do a BBQ in the spring.

How was YOUR holiday?