Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Low on the Curb Appeal
We have a Buy and Sell Online Bulletin Board at work. It’s hilarious! You wouldn’t believe the crap people try to sell. It’s also good for gossip, when you see “never worn” wedding dresses and engagement rings. Anyhow, here are two pets that, sadly, will probably not find good home.

11 yr old Long Hair Jack Russell Terrier
Detailed Description Free to a good home. Good health. Shots up to date. Absolutely hates, and will bite, children. Will also bite other dogs and adults who try to make her do anything that she doesn't want to do. Best for a single adult or adults who are home enough to give her some attention. Will let her favorite person do almost anything but will bite anyone else who tries (i.e. to pick her up, etc).
Will be totally loving and devoted to her favorite adult. Does a few tricks.
Ed: Did we mention that he BITES?

Wonderful cat to a good home
Detailed Description I have to give up my wonderful cat to a good home as I am unable to care for him. He is a beautiful black and white long hair cat with such a personality! He would do amazing in a home without other cats or dogs as he craves attention. I will provide everything (pet bed, litter box, food, litter, feeder etc free!) If you can provide my baby with a good home give me a call:
Picture(s):stinkyathome.JPG 1371 (KB)
Ed: You might want to rename your graphics before posting them.

Monday, August 29, 2005

Meme Chose
Here's what Radmila had to say about me:

"1. You are a Poet who is very comfortable in front of a crowd.
2. Notting Hill or Penny Lane
3. Red Licorice
4. Kiss me
5. The crown. Forever the crown.
6. I would have to say a siamese cat. Quiet, sleek and watchful
7. What got you to start blogging?"

The reason I started blogging was that I was reading the Annex Gleaner and saw an ad placed by Brett. I e-mailed him to say hi and he told me he had a blog. I got hooked reading it.

At work, I would often e-mail my thoughts and jokes to Boomer. Or write poems and send them to Crabby and Sister StaceyP. Why not share them with the world?

Ice Queen is the name Fresh gave me. Icicle Fief is, of course, both a Fellini and Benigni reference. Did I spell that right? What-ever.

And that's how my blog came to be.
The Red Book: A Manifesto for the New Sue

It begins with the hair and goes from there.

So now I’m on a diet. No…really. No booze. So sad! And exercise. Yawn. Watch this space for Paypal contributions to my Christmas liposuction fund.

I will have a new job within 8 months.

I will keep the house neat and tidy and armadillo-free.

I will NOT dress like Stevie Nicks.

I will not be afraid to ask for what I want.

I will smile. Sometimes.

I will not leave all my clothes and books next to the bed.

I will learn to do something: like play an instrument or speak a language or pole dancing.

I will drink more water and more milk.

I will not throw out pans just because they're too dirty to contemplate scrubbing.

I will stop typing and get to work.

I will start……..wait for it……NOW!

Sunday, August 28, 2005

All About YOU!
from Radmila
Leave me a comment and I will answer these for you.
Look back in the comments section for your answers…


1. I’ll respond with a random thought I have about you.
2. I’ll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I’ll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle with you in.
4. I’ll say something that only makes sense to you and me (or so we think).
5. I’ll tell you my first memory of you.
6. I’ll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I’ll ask you something that I’ve always wondered about you.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your blog (if you have one, natch.)

Saturday, August 27, 2005

IQ Employment and Dating Service Never Sleeps!
Job Opportunity for Mikevil, who could actually fill TWO of the openings. And I don't mean that in a dirty way.
Red Badge of Courage
If you've ever eaten a brownie or a boy scout has helped you adjust your tent pole, then this is the site for you. (found via allthingschristie.com)

Friday, August 26, 2005

Sneak Preview
Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
Look ma, no split ends!

(Imagine, if you will, me at the Behemoth Bank with my head stuck in the scanner to obtain this picture for you. Now THAT's when a digital camera is needed.)
The Goldwell Plunge
It's been a couple of years but once again, the Ice Queen has blithely headed off for lunch and come back with a whole new 'do.

I will be meeting with Boomer at 3:20 pm for a lid viewing. Perhaps he will report back, if you ask him very sweetly.

As for pics...I took too long at lunch and didn't hit the photo booth on the way back. You'll have to wait for Monday.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Ice Queen’s Semi-Annual Ennuifest!
Brought to you by the makers of I Can't Believe It's Not Butter
You know what I’m in the mood for? A prank.

I think the desire first germinated in me when I received a brochure that tells us how to turn lights on our office building floor on and off according to zone. I has SO planned to do this until Boomer moved to the 3rd floor. Not as much fun without a co-conspirator.

I want something fun. Not mean-spirited. Not illegal. Like the time we Fed-Ex’ed the contents of my manager’s desk to his house the day he was due back from vacation.

In other news, you know what? I wish I was the best at something. (Something I can do in public, I mean.) I’m a good cook and I write some good poetry (when the spirit moves me). I like to sing, but don’t do it well. I like designing logos, but never have the opportunity anymore. I know a tiny bit of Spanish. I can write funny parody songs. If you’ve messed something up in a Microsoft program, I can probably fix it. And make it look prettier in the process.

I know how to spell this word and what it means:
Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanokoniosis

I know the best brands of nylons for sheerness vs. durability.

What else? Has the sum of my 36 years been these talents?

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
Nine Lives
Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
After leaving dim sum, JustMark and Sister StaceyP were walking behind us talking about diet plans, while Mikevil and I were discussing what we would do if we had nine lives. (The discussion began when a guy sped through an intersection in front of us and I said: “Wouldn’t it be cool if you had nine lives and didn’t step out of the way just to teach him a lesson?”)

I’ve been thinking about Nine Lives. If we have Nine Lives, are you on your first (still green behind the ears) or your last (world-weary with recurring bouts of déjà vu)?

What would you do with Nine Lives? Here are my ideas:

1. A waitress in a small Midwestern US town. In Iowa, maybe.
2. A farm wife, feeding the animals and baking pies. I won a blue ribbon at the State Fair three years running!
3. Me
4. A stockbroker with a drug habit in New York.
5. An otter
6. A doctor in Alaska. (No wait…that’s Northern Exposure…well, I still want to do it.)
7. An astronomer who discovers something really cool.
8. A biologist in Australia studying the oldest single cell organisms on earth.
9. A monk in Tibet.

Which life would you prefer to meet me in and what would YOU be at the time?
Fall is coming and the wonders of nature change to brilliant colours
Okay, I’ve made the appointment here. And the plan right now it to pretty much get this cut and colour:
Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

So by Friday, I should be a new woman.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

I am curious...red.
I'm making a salon appointment. Should I get my hair dyed red?

Not sure why I want to...but I do.

Of course, inevitably I will be cursing this decision when the roots come in.

I've done my hair red at home, but never professionally.

Monday, August 22, 2005

MY SUMMER VACATION by the ICE QUEEN

Monday:
12:00 pm: Left house in rented car
12:10: “Are we there yet?” Ice Prince.
12:15 pm: “Are we there yet?”
12:17 pm: “This is taking sooooooooo long!”
3:30 ish: Arrive in Minden at parent’s trailer.

Tuesday:
Dad shows us how he has trained a chipmunk to ride o his outdoor train set. Pictures to follow.
Swimming with Ice Prince. Ice Prince fishes for the first time.
Dad’s 60th birthday.
My first s’more. Overrated.
Singing around the campfire with Fresh playing guitar.

Wednesday:
6:30 am: We leave Ice Prince with the ‘rents and head north east.
9:00 am: No place to eat in Bancroft, but a big sign for a Pancake House nearby.
9:30 am: No Pancake House.
9:45 am: No Pancake House
10:00 am: Pull into the Mississippi Inn where we have breakfast, finally. Very cute and old fashioned, with the metal chairs with cushy vinyl seats
10:30 am: Pancake House finally shows itself. Too bad, so sad!
10:45 am: Local station plays Anne Murray singing Somewhere Over the Rainbow. We put in the first of three Rufus Wainwright CDs (supplied by Boomer).
11:05 am: In love with Rufus Wainwright.
2:00 pm: Arrive in Saint-Phillippe, 20 minutes south east of Montreal. We are staying in a Kamping Kabin at the KOA. It’s great.
3:00 pm: Showers, naps
7:00 pm: Dinner on the Richelieu river. Suddenly, about a dozen hot air balloons rose from the other side. It was the Festival de Montgolfieres. Who knew?

Thursday
Breakfast at Bec Sucré.
Puis, Fromageries et Vignobles. Pictures of me with a goat to come. No, seriously.

Friday:
Drove to the Eastern Townships to see more wineries. Then homewards.
Got lost on the outskirts of Montreal. Stopped in Ottawa to see Paul & Helena’s new house. Got caught in torrential rain between Renfrew and Bancroft. The car tires barely gripped the road. It was scary. But the scenery before it started to rain was beautiful. The highlands really are high. Again: who knew?

Saturday:
Assorted stuff back in Minden. Learned secret to best hamburgers ever.

Sunday:
Fresh voluntarily woke up at 6 am to go fishing with my father. Possibly the first sign of the Apocalypse.

Stopped in and bought fresh sweet corn and basil with a root bulb still attached. Had bruschetta for dinner. Cats alive and basement miraculously dry. Thank you Crabby for cat sitting and leaving us the note that made me smile.

FIN

Monday, August 15, 2005

Fixed!

I'm up baking my Dad a cake for his 60th birthday so it'll be fresh. Almond Cornmeal Cake, his favourite.

And I fixed the blog!

Boomer: I was think of Pete Doherty who's dated Kate Moss. In this link he has shorter hair.

That's all, citizens. Back to your lives.

Saturday, August 13, 2005

I've Run Away To Join Cirque du Soleil
Okay, the whole blog is still screwed up but I DON'T CARE!

I am either swimming in a cool lake or singing along with a guitar beside the campfire or tasting cheeses and wines in Quebec or rubbing my legs together to keep warm in Montergeie.

Either way, the blog is the further thing from my mind.

I am at the buffet of life and I refuse to starve to death!

Maybe I'll be back on the 22nd, or maybe I won't.

Ha ha!

Monday, August 08, 2005

Corporate Perks (Yes, technically it's spelled perqs, I know, Crabby, but I like to spell them like that because I think they are meant to PERK YOU UP!)
My biggest excitement today was finding out that the tampon disposal thingy in the bathroom is motion activated. You wave your hand over a spot and it opens and lets out a POOF of fragance.

Yes, I abused it. I was sitting there doing ventriloquism with the tampon disposal unit.

You know, they really have a lot to say if you just listen to them.

Friday, August 05, 2005

Danish Food
with research from Wikipedia and other sites
Danes love good food. Good food is an important ingredient in the Danish concept of hygge. Hygge can be best translated as a "warm, fuzzy, comfortable feeling of well-being". A well-known quip states that the only time one is likely to find a Dane brandishing a knife, is when he has a fork in the other hand.
Denmark is famous for its pølsevogn (sausage wagons), where you can cheaply get a 12 inch long, thin (about the diameter of your index finger) red wiener. Mmmmm…mmmm!

Danes also enjoy Dyrlægens natmad (translated, Veterinarian's midnight snack). What do you think a veterinarian in a hurry might slap onto to piece of bread? Ick!

Danish liquorice contains large amounts of ammonium chloride and is probably the strongest kind of liquorice in the world. Some Danes love to share their liquorice with unsuspecting foreigners. This means YOU.

If a Dane invites you for dinner, arrive promptly. There are no pre-dinner drinks; you will be led straight to the dinner table. Cocktails are served AFTER dinner, and is it consider impolite to leave too early.

Danish humour
“Danish humour suffers from the handicap of the Danes' literal-mindedness ('Can you play the violin?' 'I don't know, I've never tried.'), and for their need to conform. In a country where all right-thinking people think the right things, no one is sufficiently different to laugh at.”

I did find one Danish joke:
Q: Why don't the Danes play hide and seek?
A: Nobody whats to look for them.
I KNEW I LIKED THOSE DANES
“The Danes love their Queen, yet at the same time are fiercely proud of their democratic society and their freedom.” How can you fault people who love me? Doesn’t everyone?
WE INTERRUPT DANISH DAY ALREADY IN PROGRESS TO BRING YOU THIS SPECIAL REPORT FROM CITY TV's WEBSITE
Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Ooooookaaaaaayyy......I'm beginning to see where the doubt might come from.
THE FUN WITH DANES® JUST NEVER ENDS!

Personality
“Danes are generally a reserved people, though they are often considered positively outgoing compared to their more distant northern cousins in Norway and Sweden. Danes are fun loving, as a trip through any town on a Friday night can attest, but hard working when there's something to be done. They are noted for their very 'civilized' nature. They are generally compassionate, articulate, and clean. Consequently, there is also a sense of arrogance and smugness sometimes associated with the Danes.” - Wikipedia

The Jante Law, which derives from a novel by a Danish author, is often said to perfectly express the Danish mindset. Others believe it unfairly represents them. Anyhow, here are the ten laws:
1. You shall not think that you are special.
2. You shall not think that you are of the same standing as us.
3. You shall not think that you are smarter than us.
4. Don't fancy yourself as being better than us.
5. You shall not think that you know more than us.
6. You shall not think that you are more important than us.
7. You shall not think that you are good at anything.
8. You shall not laugh at us.
9. You shall not think that anyone cares about you.
10. You shall not think that you can teach us anything


Oh my! I think I may have to reconsider my lunch date with Mikevil next week...

Thursday, August 04, 2005

IQ'S FIRST ANNUAL DANISH DAY CONTINUES IN ALL ITS GLORY!

Great Danish Inventions!
The Danish have cutting edge technology in the field of Men’s Health. Check out:
This invention and this one.

I mean, really! I'm all for comfort, but what about the women?

Oh maybe THIS site is for women.

No, wrong definition of that word. Oh well.
IT'S DANISH DAY!

Am I Dane Or Am I Plain?
Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
No. Clair Danes is cute and was great as Beth in Little Women, but she’s no Dane.

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
No. Danish pastries are not actually Danish. They originated in Austria.
Vienna to be precise.

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
Yes! Victor Borge was born in Denmark. Did you ever see his punctuation sketch? Hilarious! I saw him at Ontario Place in the 70s when I was wee.

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
Hans Christen Anderson was, but Danny Kaye wasn’t. Danny Kaye’s best movie ever was Court Jester. “The vessel with the pestle has the pellet that is poison but the flagon with the dragon has the brew that is true.”

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
Yes! Hamlet was Danish. I fell in love with Brent Carver (not Kenneth, pictured here) when I saw him as Hamlet when I was in high school. He is now going to be Gandalf in the Lord of the Rings musical and a confirmed friend of Dorothy. So is Rex Harrington. Sigh.

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
Uter is German, not Danish. Close, but no Flødetabletter.
Oh, relax kids. I’ve got a gut feeling Uter’s around here somewhere. After all, isn’t there a little Uter in all of us? In fact, you might even say we just ate Uter, and he’s in our stomachs right now! Wait, scratch that one.
-Principal Skinner, “Treehouse of Horror V”


Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
Kierkegaard was indeed.
"Boredom is the root of all evil - the despairing refusal to be oneself."
Soren Kierkegaard

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
Ha ha! Great Danes originated in Germany!

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

The Queen is not amused...
...that she had such a craving yesterday that she had to buy and devour a downmarket cheese danish.

But it did taste awfully good anyhow.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

What's New
1. Took Ice Prince in the big pool yesterday. The kid has no fear and immediately wanted to hold his breath and try to touch the bottom. This is both good and bad. Swimming Lessons are in order.
2. I have been identified as the "prime candidate" for a job here at the Behemoth. Much bureaucracy will ensue, with having to write and post the job, etc. There is a vague possibility that a better candidate could emerge, but the job is pretty much mine to lose. It's not the most exciting, but would probably be a smart move, in that I would be much more involved in strategy and decision making. Not a sideways move, maybe a diagonal move. Hmmm...let's see if I can get a counter offer, considering my boss has just left....
3. Later this week will be Danish Day, due to popular demand. Stay tuned.

ADDENDUM: I will gladly add any of your own nationalities to be featured here at The Fief by request. We aim to please! (As long as it amuses us.)