Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Little Miss Social Butterfly. Can You Dig It?
I have a date tonight and tomorrow night!

Tonight, the Ice Prince and I are going to see Dora the Explorer Live at the Hummingbird Centre. He is very excited and has told EVERYONE. What do you want to bet he decides he’s scared and doesn’t want to stay? Well, at least the tickets were free.

In unrelated possibly sad news, IP was supposed to be doing a Kindergarten concert next week, but with the work-to-rule thing, it may get cancelled. Mind you, every night is a concert at our house. We’ve finally learned Brown Eyed Girl. Yes, all of us.

“Hey, IP,” I said last night as he and Fresh tuned their guitars. “We’re like a band. What should we call ourselves?”
“Arthur the Loser,” said IP.
“I actually kind of like that, “ said Fresh.
“Me too,” I said. “Very indie. Arthur The Loser it is.”

And tomorrow night, Fresh is taking me for dinner to Coco Banana:
“This funky east-side Caribbean roti shop might look like something straight out of Shaft with its luridly hued fuzzy 70s sofas and potted palms, but its secluded garden grotto out back – though still painted in seriously psychedelic colours – is one of the avenue's most serene spaces. Overstuffed couches, pots of geraniums and the chef's own special herb garden, too.”

Do you think “own special herb garden” is a euphemism? Just asking.

Monday, May 30, 2005

Hot Fresh Links

Secret Wall Tattoos
Okay, here’s the deal. These people take the art off of hotel walls (some look like B&Bs too), draw their OWN art underneath, and then replace the picture. Subversive? Yeah…..

Mouse over the original to see what’s hiding underneath.

Those last three Star Wars movies were real dogs.
No, they’re NOT kidding.

One of my favourite Stewarts
And Words of Wisdom.
A Royal Canadian Fugging
On Saturday, Justin Trudeau (son of the late great Pierre and therefore unofficial Canadian royalty) married his sweetie Sophie.
Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
Isn’t she a doll? I love her dress. Just gorgeous. Well done, Sophie!
But Justin? Errr… normally, your hair looks good. With a turtleneck and leather jacket, very hot. But with a tux? And what a tux! Again, I applaud the desire to do something a little different. Beige for warm weather and to coordinate with Sophie’s dress was thoughtful and you just MIGHT have been able to pull it off.
But the shiny stripes on the lapel? And the shiny wide tie? And, if I may mention it again, the long hair? And the big and tall collar that makes you appear to have no neck? And did a button pop off your jacket or is it supposed to flap open and look about to pop?
Homey, I wish you well, and you look very happy. But on Saturday, you were a nine dressed up as a three. But I still love you. Call me, we’ll do lunch.
P.S. A very wee eyebrow shaping would not have gone amiss either. Just a wee bit, mind you.

Friday, May 27, 2005

Inspired by Mikevil

Terry From The Blog (aka Boomer)
to the tune of Jenny from the Block by JLo
I crunch numbers, give deliverables
Work in Sourcing, it ain’t so terrible
Guess I work for Real Estate too
In at 10 and out at 6:02
Like brunch on Sunday
That's just me
Won’t go camping, don’t like trees
Rather listen to Rufus on the CD

Don't be fooled by the job that I got
I'm still, I'm still Terry from the blog
Took math in school, know that ain’t hot
No matter where I go, I know where I came from (from Timmins!)
Don't be fooled by the raise that I got
I'm still, I'm still Terry from the blog
Chicken fingers and ice tea I have a lot
No matter where I go, I know where I came from (from Timmins!)

NOTE: Terry also appears in today's Harlequeen Romance post.

Thursday, May 26, 2005

Tunes on Thursday

It's been awhile, but I was inspired while thinking of ingredients for tonight's dinner: Frittata!

Hakuna Frittata! It’s a meal made with eggs.
Hakuna Frittata! Broil to give it a raise.
You can add corn, but you can’t add maize.
Add mushrooms, peas or cheddar cheese!
Hakuna Frittata!
Bad Queen. No Donut.
So I was running (okay jogging) past a newspaper box this morningand I saw the headline : "The Count is Now 37!" and a picture of a rough looking bearded man.

Am I a bad queen for thinking Chuck Cadman had joined the NDP?
More Harlequeen!
In which the plot thickens....

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Breaking News!
A Tribute album is being made for They Might Be Giants including a cover of one of my TMBG fav's Dead by one of my fav guys: Steve Burns. Oh man!

Can't speak. Too excited.
New Chapter Up Today!
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Tuesday, May 24, 2005

The Customer is Always Right.
The Royal Family visits Pizza Pizza after the Jazz Festival, to get the boy a slice.
Ice Queen: One cheese slice, please.
Ice Prince: Once slice of cheese pizza, please!
Pizza Pizza Guy: Okay.
IP: No pepperonis!
PPG: Okay.
IP: And no green things!
PPG: Sure.
IP: And no bugs.
PPG: Not a problem.
IP: And no leaves.
PGG: Okay.
IP: And a bottle of water.

The Lost Harlequeen Romance Files!
Geraldo Rivera has found the lost files. (Actually, Ice Prince was using a notebook to draw in and – voilĂ !) Nine more pages of pot-boiler goodness, with quite the little plot twist in it. I’ll post some over the next few days, and maybe I’ll finish the damn thing…sort of.

Newcomers (Maria, Clara, etc.) go check out Harlequeen Romances, my attempt at writing a novel in 30 days for Nainamo. All the characters are readers of mine, so now I have to keep writing and add you. You have to scroll to the bottom and read up. Awkward, I know. It made more sense when I was posting the chapters daily.

Enjoy! And for those of you who can't remember the plot -- reread. It's going to get more complicated so hang on to your what your Mama gave you. This ride's going to get wild.

Sunday, May 22, 2005

From the TV Guide
"Extreme Makeover: Home Edition (Season Finale)
The children and parents of deceased soldier Lori Piestewa return from their trip to Walt Disney World to see their new home in Flagstaff, Arizona."

This is just tasteless on SO many levels. Since when are there door prizes for dying? And how tacky is it to film the moment when they are cry and say "Oh, it's wonderful! If only Lori were here."

Yeah well, if Lori were still here, you be vacationing at Wally World and living in your trailerhome in Tucson.

And how do you think the surviving soldiers feel? Well, at least the female soldiers can come home and do a spread (so to speak) in Playboy.

God bless America! (They could use all the help they can get.)

Friday, May 20, 2005

With friends like that, who needs enemies?
Let's call Ice Prince's best friend Damien. IP loves Damien and sees him as a role model. Sometimes I worry that Damien is a bit too violent. He dressed as a ninja for Hallowe'en and during dress up on IP's birthday, he tried to turn everything into a gun.

This morning I dropped IP off at school:
Me to IP (as the kids file in): "Bye sweetie! Love you! Have a good day!"
Damien's Dad to Damien: "Go let loose the dogs of war!"

I'm sensing where Damien's violent streak comes from....

Thursday, May 19, 2005

You could see the moment when Peter Mackay’s heart broke.
Image Hosted by ImageShack.usI hope that he votes for the budget to prove his undying love for Belinda and then crosses the floor to the Liberals and carries her off like in that scene from An Officer and a Gentlemen.

Man, that would be sweet.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Meme Challenge From Eva

Total volume of music files on my computer…I don’t know. About 300 files.
The last CD I bought was…Last ones I bought where blank. Last pre-made one would be KD Lang’s Hymns fro the 49th Parallel, I guess.
Song playing right now…Nothing, I’m at work. Last song I listened to was Jeff Healey doing While My Guitar Gently Weeps
Five songs I listen to a lot, or that mean a lot to me… (with my favourite lyrics quoted as a bonus.)
Baby I’m a Star – Prince. “Hey, look me over/Tell me do u like what u see?/Hey, I ain't got no money/But honey I'm rich on personality”
Gold in Them Hills – Ron Sexsmith. “Even though the bills are pilin’/Maybe lady luck keeps smilin’” “Don’t lose heart/Give the day a chance to start.”
Captain Jack – Billy Joel. “So you decide to take a holiday/You’ve got your tape deck and your brand new Chevrolet/But there ain’t no place to go anyway/And what for?”
Sulk – Billy Bragg. “Why do I want to hide whenever you show up?/You know your moods just make me want to throw up./Why don’t you just bloody well grow up?/You just sulk.”
Push – Matchbox Twenty. “Hey, don’t just stand there/Say nice things to me/’Cause I’ve been cheated, I’ve been wronged”

Monday, May 16, 2005

Quiz Time
What's my World View? From the lovely and talented Clara.
You scored as Idealist. Idealism centers around the belief that we are moving towards something greater. An odd mix of evolutionist and spiritualist, you see the divine within ourselves, waiting to emerge over time. Many religious traditions express how the divine spirit lost its identity, thus creating our world of turmoil, but in time it will find itself and all things will again become one.

Idealist

81%

Postmodernist

69%

Existentialist

63%

Cultural Creative

63%

Romanticist

63%

Materialist

56%

Modernist

44%

Fundamentalist

25%

What is Your World View? (corrected...hopefully)
created with QuizFarm.com

Friday, May 13, 2005

Rexes I Have Known And Loved
Oh! And what about Rex Smith? He was in Pirates of Penzance (Kevin Kline too – God, I love this movie – I actually used the Pirate King song as an audition piece once) ?v=glanceand a movie I was in love with as a pre-teen: Sooner or Later. Here's a picture of him... Oh no! Rex, say it ain't so! Can the star of stage and screen have been reduced to this?

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Thanks, but no thanks
A meme from Mikevil. Y’all know Mikevil.
Name five things that everybody else is crazy about, but not you.
1. Horror Movies Haven’t managed to see all of one. Don’t care to. Yawn.
2. Martinis I’ve tried both traditional and fancy flavours and still am left underwhelmed. I’ll take Beer, Wine, Gin and Tonic or a Margarita, thank you very much.
3. Ballet I’ve tried. I’ve really tried. But I don’t like ballet. Even, and especially, the Nutcracker. So dull! But I will happily stare at Rex Harrison for no reason. I saw a documentary about him and he seems so sweet! But sorry, boys, he’s taken.
4. Holidays in the Tropics Lying in the sun drinking fruit and alcohol beverages of dubious safety? Watching the peasants carry your bags? Forget it. On MY holiday, I like to do something different, scuba diving, deep sea fishing, donkey riding, walking on a volcano or whale watching (all things I’ve done.) Next is sea kayaking, I hope.
5. Professional Massages Ouch! How can people enjoy these? I’ve had two and they were pure torture! I’ve got a knot in my shoulder from tension? Fine. Pass me that bottle of tequila.
The Sound of Silence
Darlings, I just can't think of anything to say these days. I'm writing scads of poems. (Well, scads of fragments anyway) and Crabby and I WILL be having a poetry reading soonish, to which I insist you all come. Please. It's good poetry, really. No unicorns or rainbows or roses or anything. Also, no chickens. But there will be booze. It's the event of the season! Date forthcoming. June, if Harper doesn't force an election (don't ask why our poetry reading is tied to Stephen Harper. It's too terrible to think of.)

I think I'll take a blog break -- knowing that as soon as I offically declare a break that I will overflow with witty things to say. So check in anyway.

Here's a fantastic blog which makes me giggle: Thread Bared. Enjoy responsibly.

I'll be back, maybe next week when my brain has had time to reboot.

Monday, May 09, 2005

No shed and no more fish for you!
I’m not ignoring you. It’s just that my shed story is so tedious to repeat. In a nutshell, after four people, we finally got someone to confirm that they had the shed we wanted. Then the person started to walk away.
“But we want it, now what?”
“You want to order it?”
“No, we want to BUY it!”

It was like the Monty Python Cheese Skit, or maybe soup nazi. “We might have a shed, but you can’t have it).

Anyhow, the guy directed us to stand in a special line that was very long, so we gave up and will go back on a week night. It would be a much better story if I told it right.

Then we tried to buy fish for dinner. Fresh and I were talking about which piece.
“How many?” says the counter guy.
“Four”
“This piece.” He says throwing one on the scale. “More than enough for four.”
Fresh and I look at each other and silently agree it’s not enough.
“Another piece, please.” - me
“No! You don’t need another piece. This is too much for four people. You take.”
“We would like another piece.” - me
“You don’t need. See, I show you. Is too much!” counter guy puts the second piece on the scale.
“We’ll take both pieces, thank you.” – me

You just KNOW that I would’ve taken both pieces anyway, just to spite him, but it was the perfect amount. So Pffffffftttttt!

Mom and Dad came up for dinner last night. Dad takes insulin right before dinner. Ice Prince followed him downstairs. Then IP comes running back upstairs: “Cool! I want to do a shot too!” B52 or heroin?

Boomer gave me a juicer he won. I think it will make me happy. Thank you. Boomer! Beet juice is the BEST.

Thursday, May 05, 2005

Money and Beer? That’s just S-M-R-T!
Yesterday, I applied for a Senior Director of Communications position at a bank.
Today I applied for a Director of Communication job at a beer company.

I was strangely gratified to see that I actually had the qualifications.

As the erudite and succinct Hillary Duff would say, “Why Not?”

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

I Feel Pretty! Oh, So Pretty!
If I were a picture of artwork, this is what I would look like. How ‘bout you?
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(link circa Clara, who will go on my link list when I next update it.)

P.S. Would somebody PLEASE buy me THIS?
Won't You Let Me Take You On A Sea Cruise? Ooowee Ooooweee baby...
Obsessed today with wanting to book a sea kayaking trip.

Only obstacles are time and money.

Huh. Maybe we can manage a day trip at some point.

Would also like to go hiking and have an astronomy lecture. And a manicure/pedicure.

And a chocolate milkshake.

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Mom by Name, Mom by Nature
We have a sandwich shop in our building. I bought my soup and was putting away my change. The woman at the cash said to the person behind me, "Do you need a bag?"
"No," said the customer.

I very nearly turned around and said, "No, thank you."
Dr. Tongue’s Monster Chiller Theatre
Maria asked: Do you believe dead people come back in your dreams and talk to you?

Ice Queen Answers:
Yes. My dearly beloved Nana (that’s like a Grandma, only Scottish and much more fun) died in 1997. Whenever my life is going really badly, she will show up in my dreams. Very quietly. Then she says: “I just thought you could use a hug.” We hug and then I thank her and she goes.

It’s happened several times. And it’s so very reassuring.

In February, I had a dream where Nana showed up and yelled at me. She didn’t say why she was so angry, but I woke up feeling terrible. What was she trying to tell me? What had I done wrong? It actually makes me teary-eyed thinking about it.

About a month later, my mom and I were talking about dreams. She mentioned (without me prodding) that Nana visited her in her dreams and made her feel better, but that last month she had shown up and yelled at her for no apparent reason.

Spooky, eh? Or as Ice Prince would say: “That’s smooky!”

It’s a true story.

Monday, May 02, 2005

Of Chests, Chests and ,errr, Poetry
Just a quick check-in.

I'm going to the doctor today. Not as sick, but it's in my chest now and with my pneumonia tendencies, I am not taking any chances.

In good news, unexpected tax refunds on the way! We're going to buy a (cheapish) shed and sod and flatten our back lawn. Right now, it's like mowing the pre TrimSpa Anna Nicole.

And Crabby and I are arranging our own poetry reading. Stay tuned and wear your shades -- we are the new bright lights of Canadian Literature. I'm going to start weight training now for when we have to arm wrestle for the Pulitzer.