Thursday, April 28, 2005

Verisimilitude
Still sick as a dog. At work briefly to tidy things up ans show people how awful I look.

But I'm not faking. I managed to give my boss the flu. She wwent to the doctor, whereas I am toughing it out. For now.

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Nobody Here But Us Chickens
Last night is a daze. I remember them liking my poem and I remember a Klingon and a woman who broke down in tears in the middle of her poem. Crabby did a great job, even though she won't believe me. (You did! I'm proud of you!)

My favourite criticism I got from the judges was: "Your poetry reminds me of some of the best stuff that Lorna Crozier has written in the last ten years. Unfortunately, I don't like her poetry."

"But you've heard of her, haven't you?" I replied triumphantly.

Yep. I just want fame.

Crabby's poetry also got compared to Lorna Crozier. Funny coincidence, eh? Maybe we can start up a poet's group, like Group of Seven. Oh wait. We already have: Two Drink Minimum.

On the subway on the way home, Crabby said. "What shall we do for our next adventure?"

"I say we call up Lorna Crozier's publisher."

Snaps to Boomer, Benjamin and Barbara for coming. I hope it wasn't too painful.

I'm going back to bed. Boomer, no need to tell anyone you came to my poetry reading last night since I'm home sick again.

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Dear fans,
Although the rumours of my sickness ARE true, I am not one to disappoint those who are the wind beneath my wings.

Crabby and I WILL be at Poetry Idol tonight, but if we don't get on the slate, I may not stick around long.

I am currently enjoying my first hot toddy and it is charming.

Public apologies to Mikevil for having to pull out of the Diversity Workshop tomorrow. I feel awful. I will make it up to you, I promise. (If you want to help Mikevil out, e-mail him at the Behemoth!)

Monday, April 25, 2005

Still Funky, After All These Years
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Today is Fresh’s 39th Birthday. Yes, I don’t know what a young thing like me is doing with a man of such advanced years. I had a party for him last night. Colin got him a skull ring. I still haven’t gotten him anything. I made a big chocolate cake, tho’.

Then I had insomnia. I got up at 4 am and did my nails and then went back to bed and had weird scary dreams about Fresh. I hate it when you have a bad dream and when you feel bad all day because it seemed so real. Ugh.

Friday, April 22, 2005

Crabby and Icy – Poetry Superstars!

Crabby and I are entering the Art Bar’s 1st Annual Poetry Idol Competition. (Crabby and I both studied Creative Writing in university – don’t try this at home, we’re professionals)

Come out to the Art Bar on Tuesday April 26th at 8pm. Listen to some poetry and when Crabby and I make it to round two (natch) VOTE FOR US!

I will probably be reading selections from the famous Glencoe Poem (aka concessions. Maybe even with my hand-coloured Glencoe photos.

Come for the booze, stay for the poetry.

AND VOTE FOR US!

(It’s at The Victory Café, 581 Markham Street. 1 Block West of Bathurst, 1 Block South of Bloor, second floor.)

I suppose there’s a tiny chance we may not get on the slate, but we plan to arrive early to ensure our place in the spotlight.

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Live and Let Die
Have you seen those yellow “Live Strong” wristbands that were popularized by Lance Armstrong? All the cool kids are wearing them.

Well, apparently, they are causing some problems in Florida.

You see, the hospitals down there use a similar yellow bracelet to indicate “Do Not Resuscitate Patient.”

Oopsie!

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Good Exposure for Our New Band
Did I tell you that our friend Rich and his partner Craig invited Fresh and I down to their cabin for a weekend? They have a variety show night at the resort and they thought we could get together and do something—Fresh on the guitar, me singing, Rich on the recorder and Craig playing keyboard. “And,” adds Rich, “It’s not mandatory to take all your clothes off.”

Wait. Say what?

Oh yeah. I forgot it was a nudist resort. Small but significant detail.
Ding-Dong!
Here are some tips from a British Website on Getting Active. Which would YOU choose?

10 ways to be more active (without even realising it!)

• Discover the delights of bell-ringing or rambling
• Run a guided tour of your town
• Start a dog-walking rota with your neighbours
• Take up salsa dancing or t'ai chi
• Get off the bus a couple of stops early
• Go on a sponsored walk
• Take young family members off for a game of football
• Offer to help out at your local school
• Revamp a section of the garden as your special project
• Have more sex.
Stuff
I’ve been keeping up with my running (even WITHOUT an incentive program from Boomer.) I now fit into my favourite red dress. Here’s a picture of me in my running gear (thanks to a link on All Things Christie):
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On Saturday I bought a Sunny Choi dress at Goodwill for $10. I went online, and her dresses go for between $800 and $2500. Score! It’s floor length and white, so if anyone wants to invite me to somewhere formal or would like to marry me, let me know. Or re-marry me.

I have decided that I want to learn to sea kayak. Just thought I’d mention that.

Hey! New pope! Don’t know who he is yet…

Monday, April 18, 2005

Wisdom of the Ice Prince: Melting Pot Boy Wonder
Ice Prince was putting a blanket on the floor on Sunday.
IQ: "Whatcha doing?"
IP: "This is my prayer rug. It's for praying."
IQ: "Oh yeah..so how do you do that?"
IP: "You have to be quiet and then you do this:" He knelt and touched his forehead to the floor.

Who knew my son was Muslim?
Meme-ries, all alone in the moonlight…

Passed on from Radmila:

Q: You're stuck inside Fahrenheit 451, which book do you want to be?
Shane by Jack Schaefer. The book which, in Grade Five, was so boring that I could barely read it and resulted in my worst grade in English EVER. I think I got a B. AUGH!

Q: Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character?
Linus from Peanuts. No, seriously.

Q: The last book you bought is:
A Short History of Nearly Everything by Bill Bryson

Q: The last book you read:

Under the Tuscan Sun – Re-read it after my Mom returned it to me.

Q: What are you currently reading?

Re-reading America: Democracy Inaction by Jon Stewart and Friends

Q: Five books you would take to a desert island.

Little Women
Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy: A Trilogy in 5 Parts
A Short History of Nearly Everything
Sophie’s World
The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook


Q: Who are you going to pass this stick to (3 persons) and why?
Crabby, Benjamin and Maria, because they took part in the Ice Queen Reads, which I sadly never actually polled anyone on. Maybe I have Adult Onset ADD, or AOADD, for short.

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Tomorrow is Ice Queen Day.

I am taking tomorrow off. I have booked a manicure and pedicure with a gift certificate I got from Crabby and Sister for my birthday. Other than that, I have no specific plans. Kensington Market, maybe.

My gut is a little uneasy, what with the election possibility. Those in the know remember that Fresh is consumed for the entire election. Unlikely that his boss won’t be re-elected, but still…

And the big news of the day: I am not wearing one single item that is black. True!

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

That’s a Fact, Jack!
Last night I ran 2 miles. That’s 3.2 km. Which, considering that 2 years ago, I couldn’t run a block is pretty damn fine, since I haven’t run since August.

I’ve got my lovely little mp3 player which has spawned an entirely new running style that really works for me, but will probably be filmed and posted on the Internet. It took me a while to figure out its provenance, but I know now.

Do you remember one of the best movies of all times, Stripes? And do you remember the funny little running in place dance Bill Murray does during the Graduation Day gun salute?

Yep. That’s me. Boom Chaka Laka Laka, Boom Chaka Laka Laka…..

Monday, April 11, 2005

Homework
Here’s the Official Wedding Poem for Charles and Camilla. Your mission: Write Your Own.
Spring Wedding by Andrew Motion
I took your news outdoors, and strolled a while
In silence on my square of garden-ground
Where I could dim the roar of arguments,
Ignore the scandal-flywheel whirring round,
And hear instead the green fuse in the flower
Ignite, the breeze stretch out a shadow-hand
To ruffle blossom on its sticking points,
The blackbirds sing, and singing take their stand.
I took your news outdoors, and found the Spring
Had honored all its promises to start
Disclosing how the principles of earth
Can make a common purpose with the heart.
The heart which slips and sidles like a stream
Weighed down by winter-wreckage near its source --
But given time, and come the clearing rain,
Breaks loose to revel in its proper course.

In other news….
Your Inner European is Italian!
Passionate and colorful. You show the world what culture really is.

Thursday, April 07, 2005

The Von Fresh Family Singers
Fresh’s guitar playing is coming along nicely. Last night we sang together : “Leaving on a Jet Plane” and it was wonderful! It’s like having live karaoke in my living room! (I’m sure my parents were not expecting this when they moved in, poor things.) This week’s song is “Brown Eyed Girl,” and man, is it ever tough to sing. We think he may be learning Green Day’s “Time of Your Life” this week, which I look forward to.

I’m on a diet (spring clothes – ‘nuff said) and I’m going to start running and biking. To ease the exercise thing and as a pre-reward, I am buying an MP3 player tomorrow. Yes, I am entering the 21st Century.

What else? Ah yes. Mr. Crabby’s birthday bash is Saturday night and Fresh and I are going! Out of the house! Together! You have no idea what joy this brings me. I may buy a new outfit from Value Village to commemorate the occasion.

And, tomorrow is the 17th anniversary of the Day Fresh and I met. (Okay, technically I had met him briefly once before when our boyfriend introduced us, but we don’t count that.) Will I actually write something mushy about him tomorrow? Wait and see. I don’t know yet either.

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

More Wit and Wisdom of the Ice Prince
The door opens. Fresh enters. IP runs towards him with a cowboy toy.
IP: “Daddy! Daddy! I’ve got a Woody!”
Fresh (smirking): “Good for you.”
IP: “Allison gave it to me!”
Prince Liebowitz
Ice Prince took my camera from me and took some pictures. This one is the best. I don't know how he did it, but he managed to get two photos superimposed so that I look like a hobbit with my feet around my thighs.
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Très chic, non?

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Looks Like I Picked the Wrong Week to Stop Taking Horse Tranquilizers
Somehow, a mundane task we have done annually here at work for three years has turned into a crisis of epic proportions with a cast of dozens. With me front and centre.

And the coffee machine is broken.

And Ice Prince's teacher told me he openly piddled on the kindergarten carpet last week.

I am reminded of Airplane!:
"Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit smoking."

"Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue."

"Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines."

Monday, April 04, 2005

What's 'ice' in latin?
So the pope has died. The man deserves a rest. I may not agree with everything he advocated (most specifically opposing birth control and women priests) but he seemed to be a good man who changed many lives. And he deserves a rest.

They will be picking the new pope soon. And when the pope is chosen, he will choose a name. The tradition began when a fellow named Mercury was elected pope and he didn’t want to sully the post with a pagan name, so he chose another. (Pope Mercury –that‘s so cool.)

“Popes follow no established model in deciding on their name. Most often their choice honors a predecessor whom they admire, or who appointed them bishop or cardinal.”

If YOU were elected pope, what name would you choose and why? You may choose a male or female name, or one of each. And tell me why you chose that name. I’ll go think about my choice.

Pope Choosing a name
List of Past Popes

Friday, April 01, 2005

Cap Lock. Classic Comedy.
mY SOLE CONTRIBUTION TO aPRIL fOOL'S dAY IS A BIG FAKE PONYTAIL i'VE GOT CLIPPED ON TODAY.

bUT gO fUG yOURSELF IS PRETTY FUNNY TODAY. You all know that Site, riGht? If Not, Don';t Forget To cheCk itOn a reGuLar dAy.

(I HAD'NT PLAnNnED TO tYPE fUNNY, bUT iT'S rATHER SUItABLE, dON'T yOu THiNK?