Friday, April 30, 2004

Thanks for the Meme-ories
Oh, I was going to post the same meme as Radmila, Lily and Snobby, but you know what? I don't feel like it.

Instead of asking ME three questions, I want you to ask The Ice Prince three questions. I will ask him for you and report the answers back.

Won't that be fun? Wheeeeee! (Crabby gets to ask her three questions in person tonight.)
A Taxing Day
Finished the taxes today (after finding all of the obscure codes and the elusive “line 150” required). Fresh and I pretty much break even between the two of us. Eh, could be worse. Glad it’s finished, though.

Ice Prince is in a royally bad mood. But he did come up with one social comment this morning:
IP: “Boys have bags.”
Me: “Huh?” (worried this may be a rude comment)
IP: “Boys have bags, Mommy, and girls have purses, right?”
Me: “Oh, uh, right. Usually.”

Interesting that a 3 year old noticed that distinction. He didn’t learn it from me – I let him carry around the gold lamé purse his Nana gave him for his birthday while wearing my high heels.

Tonight we’re having Crabby and Father Patrick O’Stacey over for supper. It’s weird having each without their spouse. It’s like having Fred and Betty over. Or Wilma and Barney. Anyhow, we’re having Queer Eye Ted’s Rack of Lamb. And I’m making lentils for the first time ever, simmered in lamb stock with shallots.

It’s so nice to have an edible hobby.

Tuesday, April 27, 2004

Lily's meme rules get me confused. Therefore it's....
Boomer's Questions of the Day!
1. If you were a stripper, what three songs would you choose?
2. And what would your "theme look" be?

Okay, for me, the three songs are:
Laid, by James
I Want you Back by INX and
Disease by Matchbox 20

My persona would be Naughty Librarian.

And you?
Final Test – NOT!
So I had the exercise test yesterday (in a skirt and nylons, but I had shorts under the skirt and sneakers on). My lungs are fine, but I have Arrhythmia. That means my heart has extra beats. Probably nothing to worry about, but I’m being sent to a Cardiologist, getting an echocardiogram and have to wear a heart monitor for 24-48 hours. Arrhythmia can cause tiredness, dizziness and chest pain – sort of like pneumonia. Huh! Go figure. (But yes, I did really have pneumonia)

Am I worried? As long as I’m not pregnant, I really don’t care what they find.
Be A Chip Off The Old Block
Okay, my computer at home crashed, but here is what is there so far in the new Ice Queen Store.

Yeah, it's pricey, especially shipping to Canada. But one has to start somewhere.

Enjoy!

Monday, April 26, 2004

The World Needs More Ice Queen
Eva did it.
Radmila did it.

Now it's time for Ice Queen Merchandise!

What would you like to buy with a spiffy new Ice Queen Logo on it? I'll probably set up the store at home tonight, but I'll take any requests.

I think you'll like the branding. Très chic. Très fierce. Très moi. Watch for it, tomorrow!



True Stories
The Players:
Blambdad: Blamb’s dad. Taught at same high School as my Dad. Taught me geography (or tried to, anyway).
My Dad. Can’t give him a cute nickname like my mom (Queen Mum), because if a Queen’s Dad were still alive, he’d be King and she’d only be a princess. Unless he abdicated or was a stepdad (Queen Mom’s consort). You see the dilemma?

The Setting:
An auction in or around Glencoe. Auctions out in the country are like garage sales in the city only bigger.

Blambdad: “Hey Peter, good to see you. How’s the Ice Queen doing?”
My father is stunned into silence. Is Blambdad talking about his wife? His boss? Who? And using a mean nickname for someone is pretty out of character for Blambdad.

Well, they eventually straightened it out.

Okay, maybe it wasn’t the best story. I’ll try harder.

In other news, Ice Prince and I made waffles for Fresh’s birthday breakfast yesterday.
“WE MADE YOU PARTY WAFFLES, DADDY!”

We also made an Angel Food Cake. Ice Prince covered it with a tea towel in the morning.
“I will put a blanket over it so I won’t eat it all and I won’t get a tummy ache.” My son, the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal.

Friday, April 23, 2004

Summer is Coming
And I need to make some summer cds to listen to in the backyard while BBQing (or being BBQed for).

Suggest me some summer songs. Here's a few:
In the Summertime
Summer in The City
Dock of the Bay

What else? Help me!

Thursday, April 22, 2004

Buddy can you spare some tuition?
I found what I want to be when I grow up

Maybe I could take one course per semester. I need to set up a paypal here so my secret admirers can send me money.
Culture Moment!
My favourite french poem, in honour of Snobby going to Montreal:

(I apologize for the mangled French. It's part memory loss and part linguistic incompetence.)

Le petit chat gris gris
A fait du pis pis
Sur le tapis
Son maman a dit
“Ce ne pas gentil
lever son queue
devant ses monsieurs”.

I'll translate later if there are any requests. But it's much better in French.

Wednesday, April 21, 2004

The Moral? May As Well Finish Your Dessert.
Clia A. Shapiro has recently published a book of pictures of inmates' last meals as requested before execution. (She recreated them for the pictures.) It makes you think about what you would want for your last meal. Something decadent like crème brulée? Something bad for you like KFC and fries (because it doesn’t matter now)? Something to remind you of what was important to you (like Nana’s bangers and mash with Mom’s famous pie for dessert? Or something that reminds you how very beautiful and miraculous life is (raspberries, mangoes, milk)?

Her photos aren’t on line, but here’s a list of last meals, if you’re curious.

(Sad note: When Rickey Ray Rector was executed, the mentally impaired inmate set aside half of his pecan pie for after the execution.)

Tuesday, April 20, 2004

The Fab Five Tackles The Fab Four

She's leaving home unless you do something about the decor. As Oscar Wilde said just before he died "Either this wallpaper goes, or I do!"
Why Spring is like being in love
New beginning
Anything seems possible
Everything seems so much better than you remember
You feel beautiful, like a butterfly emerging from a cocoon
More moisture involved than you’d think necessary
Reason to buy new clothes
Messy and unpredictable
Things poking out everywhere
Can’t concentrate….

Monday, April 19, 2004

Conversation With the Ice Prince
Last night, I.P. went down to the basement bathroom to take care of business. A few minues later, I heard "Mommy! Mommy!" So down I go to check it out.

Ice Prince had the toilet paper roll holder in his hand and his pants around his ankles. "It broke."

So I go to put it back together. "Where's the toilet paper roll?"
"I flushed it."
"The WHOLE THING?!" (it was half a roll)
"Yes. It was an accident."
"How can you possibly accidentally flush half a roll of toilet paper down? I don't even think that's physically possible!"
"Sorry, mum."

The toilet is flushing slowly, but still works.

How is that possible? I never did find the roll so I can I only assume he managed to do it.
You Know You Want To....
All you need is a black t-shirt and you too can be a ninja!

Friday, April 16, 2004

My correspondence with a celebrity
You may remember that I donated a prize to the Bloggies for Best Canadian weblog. Well, mezzoblue was the winner. And it’s time to pay the piper. Here’s Dave’s reply to my e-mail:
Hi,
"I donated the book "Sweet Potato Queen's Book of Love" as the prize. Upon visiting your site, I'm not sure it's your sort of thing. Sooo....you may have the Sweet Potato Book OR you may receive a mystery book of equal value to be chosen by me. What do you think? Your choice. "

Quite possibly not. While the 'mystery book' idea has its appeal, I'm drowning in accumulating, yet unread books at the moment.

Tell you what -- instead of sending ME the book, why not either a) donate it to your local library, or even better b) go to bookcrossing.com and grab a label, then release it into the wild?

"In a bizarre coincidence, I stumbled your page trying to figure out CSS through the zen garden. And then I see you've won the prize I donated. Strange, strange. "

Very odd.

d.


What a hoopy frood that guy is. Okay, so I’m going to register the Sweet Potato Queen’s with bookcrossing and see what happens. But I feel he ought to receive some sort of prize. Maybe I should write him a song? Any suggestions for songs to base it on?
Movin' On Up, To The East Side.....

Just take a wild guess as to where my first apartment was.

I'll admit it was nice and cheap and close to the university.....
Things that make me happy today
Nice man selling nice tulips for Parkinson’s society in the subway
Having money to buy tulips
Ice Prince looking cool in hoodie, jean jacket, shades and backwards denim cap
White gloves for holding tulips
All wine glasses being clean
Finding the dishes I want to buy at 40% off
Sunshine!
Big ass coffee
Hair that almost bounces and behaves
Run free nylons

Things that make me sad
Svend
Dishes I want are too heavy to get home. Don’t even know how to get them to the taxi!
House that really needs to be cleaned
60% chance of rain for Geezerpalooza BBQ
I’ve just found out that there is going to be a Queer Eye for the Straight Girl…in Los Angeles!

Thursday, April 15, 2004

Gimme Shelter

From Eva:
1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 23.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions. (you can post it in the comments here if you like.)
asylum n cover, haven, refuge, retreat, safety, sanctuary, shelter”
-- Oxford Thesaurus of Current English

Cool!

What’s Playing in my Head: Gimme Shelter by The Stones
Bonus Track Getting Better All The Time by The Beatles

Wednesday, April 14, 2004

The Poem I Promised my Dear Friend Dave
Hey poetry fans, go check it out.

For you new readers, Crabby and I write poetry. Two Drink Minimum is our sadly neglected poetry blog. Think you don't like poetry? Check it out. You may be surprised.
Grab Bag
Me: If I had to choose one word to describe you it would be "earnest".
Fresh: If I had to describe you I'd say you were "no-nonsense."
Pause.
Me: "God, we sound boring."
So, what one word would you use to describe me? And you?

Boomer: "I'm so glad my new nephew's eyes are blue."
Me: "All newborns have blue eyes. They turn their true colour later."
Boomer: "They do? Even non-caucasian babies?"
That has me stumped. Anybody know? My educated guess would be that they aren't blue, but maybe a kinda of grey non-colour to start. Ice Prince's Eyes were sort of bluey-hazel but turned brown pretty quickly (couple of weeks).

So today is Virtue Day. I have a bunch of things I've been putting off and they must be done and I shall do them today. Or tomorrow if time doesn't permit. But Saturday is Debauchery Day when we have Geezerpalooza for Fresh and Mr. Crab's 38th birthdays. Egad, that seems like such a grown-up age. Can I really be married to a man who's turning 38? Most of the time, I barely feel like more than 14 myself.

Monday, April 12, 2004

It's Tunes on Monday!

This one is inspired by Crabby's suggested title: House of Splenda. Okay, it's a bit self-depreciating, but after four months of couch rest, what do you expect? Besides, just a few more tests and I can start running again if I stay well. Hurrah! Pride Run, here I come!

House of Splenda
(to the tune of House of the Rising Sun, natch!)
There is a house in the Beaches.
Where the Merlot flows like rum
And it's been the ruin of many a Queen
And God I know I'm one.

Well Crabby’s been on Atkins
She’ll need some new bluejeans
And Mr. Crab has lost some flab
He’s now a lean machine

Now the only thing a Queen doth need
Is stockings and a crown
And if my stockings get a run
Then all I’ll do is frown

Oh mother tell your children
Not to do what I have done
My skirt’s too tight, it’s time for flight
To the House of the Splenda, son.

With one foot on the bedpost
And the other foot on the floor
Can’t squeeze my ass (thanks to that Wolf Blass)
Into my dress no more

There is a house in the Beaches
Where the Merlot flows like rum
And it's been the ruin of many a Queen
And thank God I am one.
Homeland Security, Ice Prince-Style
Me: “So, the Easter Bunny comes this weekend. Do you know what the Easter Bunny does?”
Ice Prince (who's 3): “He calls the office and talks on the phone to Daddy.”
Me: “No, he brings chocolate eggs!”
IP: ‘Chocolate! Hurrah!”

Later that night:
Me” “You have to go to bed. The Easter Bunny will be here soon.”
I.P.: “You won’t let him in the house, will you?”
Me: “Huh?”
I.P.: “When he comes to the door, don’t let him in the house. Tell him to leave the eggs in the backyard, okay?”
Me: “Yeah, sure, kiddo, if that’s what you want.”
I.P.: “Remember, tell him he has to stay outside!”
Me: "Right"
I.P.: "Don't let him in the house!"
Me: "Okay, I promise!"

So we hid chocolate eggs outside and Ice Prince went around and had a great time finding them in the morning.

I just hope he doesn’t expect Santa to leave everything outside too.

Friday, April 09, 2004

Do you have that "Not So Fresh" Feeling?
I first found this site back in 1999. And I still love it. Take a good thorough wander around to get all of its chocolately goodness.

And a special treat that should get me into Eva's Carnival of Canucks for sure. I love Min Jun's t-shirt in this.

Thursday, April 08, 2004

I’m Fresh Obsessed!
Today is the 16th anniversary of my meeting Fresh. Some of you newbies may wonder why my husband is called Fresh. Well, he’s a rather serious fellow, but for my 30th birthday, he set up a DJ stand in our tiny living room and his alter ego “Funky Fresh” was born.

Anyhow, we met at a dance. I went with Sister Staceypatrick and hooked up with my ex boyfriend. And then I met Fresh. I had spiky garnet hair and was wearing black and neon green (ah, the 80s!).

I remember he asked if he could kiss me at the end of the evening, which I thought was the sweetest thing.

Fresh and I are the yin to each other’s yang. I am silly and spontaneous. Fresh is serious and stable. Fresh is sentimental and emotional and I am…well…an ice queen. But what do we have in common? Let me think:

I like to cook. Fresh likes to eat.
We like Jon Stewart’s The Daily Show.
We like wine. A lot.
We like to have dinner parties.
We like to travel.
We like to read.
We are both in the field of communications, although we met when we were both studying theatre.
We both like jazz and blues and Bee Gees.
I like the crunchy fries and Fresh doesn’t.
We are socially liberal and fiscally conservative.
We both prefer cats to dogs as pets.
We like all the same foods and dislike all the same foods.
We both like to celebrate little things, like our 16th anniversary of meeting. (Heck, I just remembered Fresh giving me a “Happy 3 month anniversary of meeting” card.)

Any of you who know Fresh and me may feel free to expand on my yin/yang theory.

So here’s to Fresh and the fateful night 16 years ago.

Tuesday, April 06, 2004

What-ever
The specialist says I am very healthy with low blood pressure and 100% lung capacity. So I either:
1. Have rare blood disease (unlikely)
2. Have a thyroid problem (causes exhaustion – makes me catch viruses)
3. Am a very busy working mom (see above brackets) who happens to be in the wrong places at the wrong times

Thanks. That helps. A few more tests to undergo, but otherwise – not much help. Hopefully the warmth and extended daylight will work wonders.

Fun With Google
The latest searches that led to my page:
sexy naked glencoe girls
"you don't look aboriginal" art
“lori Cullen"
jazz snoozin
snausages, sound clips
ice queen t-shirt
hot girls from acton ontario naked
"how to get a tight butt"
"how to open a door with a credit card"
chubby sedum
ladybug daycare toronto
"hey you kids get out of that jello tree"
The Continental Chistopher Walken
"student council" +"thunderation"
"how to get red wine stains out"
wisdom teeth OHIP
sexy queen fantasy pictures
Bleeding Gums Murphy Song 80s

That's Funny...I Thought I Was The Queen.
Grammar God!
You are a GRAMMAR GOD!


If your mission in life is not already to
preserve the English tongue, it should be.
Congratulations and thank you!


How grammatically sound are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Friday, April 02, 2004

So I'm back from the pulmonary function test. You sit in a a booth and breathe in and out on a mouthpiece while that shoot all sorts of gasses into your mouth and take measurements. It's kinda like being in a p*o*r*n movie with The Borg.

Last night Boomer and I went to the Fashion Cares media launch where my suspicions were confirmed:
Luchadors (Mexican Wrestlers) are "in". (What's that you say?)
I still don't like martinis.
My boots are not made for walkin' (but they are very cute.)
I could probably put on a better special event than most people.

Bleagh. Feeling dizzy. Must be all the carbon monoxide from the test. I'll go lie down. If I don't wake up, thanks for reading.

Thursday, April 01, 2004

That's Just Great
The Weather Network has a special icon for drizzle.

In other news
I was thinking about the event this evening and I've decided that I need a signature drink. I already have a wine (red, preferrably pricey) and beer (Keith's), but I feel that I'm at a time in my life where I need a cocktail. Something with lime, I think.

Anyone care to suggest a cocktail we shall hereafter name "The Ice Queen"?