Friday, January 30, 2004

Ice Queen Finds Third Nipple
So I could finally have a shower today. I take my clothes off, look in the mirror and AAAAAGGGGGGGH! What the hell is that?????!!!!! It...it looks like a third nipple!

Well, it turns out it was just one of those metal diode things they stick to you so that they can attach monitors to you while you're under.

Sheesh.

(Do not insert Chandler Bing nubbins comments. Thanks.)

Thursday, January 29, 2004

I am officially the kind of person Crabby hates
The Big Tie (or clamp as it were) was yesterday and I am......fine. Really!

Here's my experience:
Sat in waiting room. Read two issues of Toronto Life. Lovely.
Went in to have my IV put in. Cried a bit at the thought. It wasn't so bad. Put on comfy housecoat and funky gauze slippers. Put personal belongings in garbage bag. Including glasses. Have I mentioned that I can't see worth squat without my glasses or contacts?
Back to waiting room to read Canadian Living.
Queer Orderly for the Tie Girl shows up to escort me to the next waiting room, telling jokes all the while. Cute guy also in housecoat and paper slippers lets me in line ahead of him.
Parade of the IVs.
Next waiting room is outside the surgery. Read Oprah and The Star (the trashy tabloid). Put my feet up. Relaxed. Ah...free time!
The children's waiting room (where I waited with Ice Prince for his ear tubes) was right next to us. An orientation tour came by with little kids who were going to have operations done. They had loot bags with hospital colouring books. (note to self: where the f was my colouring book?) Very sweet. I smiled at them to show I wasn't scared, so they shouldn't be either.
Nice new orderly takes me to surgery, where there are about 8 people. 8 people to work on little ol' me!
Anestisias....Anesthestiolo...The guy who gave me stuff to knock me out said "With a young woman like this it's much easier." Ahhh.......then they gave me a warm blanket and I fell asleep.
Woke up as they wheeled me into recovery. Butterflies in my tummy.
Half an hour later, it started to hurt -- very similar to halfway through labour. The nurse gave me two Tylenol 3s.
Half an hour later, they wheeled me into a private room and gave me my bag of belongings and a can of gingerale, They also wrapped me in warm blankets. Mmmmmm......I got out my glasses and my copy of Pride and Prejudice.
Half an hour later, a nurse comes in and says "Your husband called. He's on his way. If you can pee, you can go home." I can always pee, so I did. Then I carefully got dressed.
Then Fresh showed up and offered his arm. We walked downstairs. It felt good to move. We went to the pharmacy and got more Tylenols 3s. I suggested we walk home (about 5 minutes) so we did.

Today, I'm sleeping a lot, but that's normal for me when I'm home alone. I have an incision the size of a pea in my belly button and I smell vaguely like the vet. (You know the smell, eh? Antiseptic and blood and stitches.) But I'm fine. The belly button hurts but I'm fine. I'm even contemplating getting my hair and nails done tomorrow, since I never get the chance otherwise. Fresh is cooking for the next few days. Last night we had grilled cheeses and it was yummy.

Crabby may now commence hating me.

After reading the above link, which refers to TWO incisions, I went searching and yes, there is a second one. Never mind where. It seems fine. My mother says they put them in discreet places so that you can still wear a bikini. Yeah. Right. Like THAT's going to happen any time soon.

Tuesday, January 27, 2004

Dream Job
I just wrote the bitchin-est thank you note for my interview on Friday, neatly summarizing why I, The Ice Queen, am clearly the best choice for this choice position.

Stay tuned......

(And no, I did not use "bitchin-est" in the letter)
Queen Temporarily Abdicates for an Oil and Lube Job
Very busy today, possums, trying to get things finished at work before The Big Tie tomorrow.

You may not hear from me for a few days, and Boomer has so far refused to guest blog. Maybe if you ask him nicely he will. He thinks he'll have nothing to say, but I'm sure you could help him out with some topics, eh?

Friday, January 23, 2004

Ice Queen Marvels At New Fangled Motion Picture Technology
From Radmila: Here's what you do, you copy and paste the list and then you bold the movies you've seen.

Now you can see how sorely uneducated in popular culture is your Ice Queen. Royalty tend to be like that. Hell, I haven't even heard of some of these. What about Amélie? What about Fargo and Desperado and Ladyhawke?

1. X-Men
2. The Craft
3. X2
4. Swimfan
5. Fellowship of the Ring
6. Finding Nemo
7. Peter Pan 8. Home Alone
9. Aladdin
10. The Ring
11. 10 Things I Hate About You
12. Not Another Teen Movie
13. Spiceworld
14. 8 Mile
15. Bambi
16. Pirates of the Carribean
17. Edward Scissorhands
18. Stepmom
19. My Best Friends Wedding
20. 101 Dalmatians
21. Scream
22. Scream 2
23. Scream 3
24. Big Daddy
25. Billy Madison
26. Chamber of Secrets
27. Sorcerer Stone
28. Heartbreakers
29. Dumb & Dumber
30. Cruel Intentions
31. Scary Movie
?32. Look Who's Talking
33. Blade
34. Blade II
35. O
36. Titanic (Fresh made me see it.)
37. Carrie
38. Carrie 2: The Rage
39. Daddy Day Care
40. Legally Blonde
41. Austin Powers
42. Storm of the Century
43. Oliver and Company
44. Two Towers
45. Return of the King
46. Mighty Ducks
47. Fast and the Furious
48. 2Fast, 2 Furious
49. A Walk To Remember
50. TripleX
51. Beauty and the Beast
52. I Know What You Did Last Summer
53. I Still Know What You Did Last Summer
54. Sound of Music
55. Mary Poppins
56. Tuck Everlasting
57. The Patriot
58. The Wizard of Oz
59. Teaching Mrs. Tingle
60. Crossroads
61. Now and Then
62. Pearl Harbor
63. Just Married
64. Cast Away
65. Radio Flyer
66. Final Destination
67. Lady and the Tramp
68. Shallow Hal
69. 40 Days and 40 Nights
70. Bring It On
71. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
72. The Outsiders
73. The Matrix
74. Perfect Storm
75. Austin Powers 2
76. Never Been Kissed
77. Clueless

78. Bruce Almighty
79. Remember the Titans
81. Girl, Interrupted
82. SWAT
83. Sixth Sense
84. PhoneBooth
85. The Lion King
86. Urban Legends
87. Nightflier
88. Lion King 2
89. Little Mermaid
90. American Pie
91. Center Stage
92. Scooby Doo
93. Bedazzled
94. Mrs. Doubtfire
95. Save the Last Dance
96. My Girl
97. American Beauty
98. Romeo & Juliet
99. Lost World
100. Casper
Gosh, we're all real impressed down here, I can tell you
Well, the job I interviewed for is actually much further up the ol' corporate ladder than I thought. The interview was a piece of cake -- just a nice chat. I'm perfect for the job. Doesn't mean I'll get it - but I stand a mighty good chance.

My silliest answer to a question (true):
Them: "If you got this job, what would you do for us?"
Me: "How about a little dance?"
(it's their own fault for the syntax of that sentence.)

There were two interviewers, and one seemed like her job was to explain in greater detail why I'd be so good for the job. Strange, but very nice indeed.

I also bought The Pair of Jeans. Yep. I am wearing them right now and they aren't so bad. But they do give me major booty -- but at least they look like they are supposed to do that. Nothing worse than unexpected booty, I always say.

This morning, when I went to pay my subway fare, the collector just loooked into my face, smiled, handed me back my money and nodded me through. Isn't that sweet? Good omen?

What else happended good today? A nap. Always nice.

Now I have to go do some tidying for my dinner party tomorrow.

(And to answer Sister Staceypatrick's question about the boots? I stuffed 'em down my coat sleeves. It wasn't pretty, but my feet were in real live clean shoes for the interview!)

Thursday, January 22, 2004

Do I Feel Lucky? Well....do I?

Another crazy day.

I am, however, planning to put together a Belinda Stronach song, in the vein of Smells Like David Miller. Tune suggestions are very welcome. I was thinking maybe a Go Go's song -- because they have a Belinda too.

Not much posting for a bit, due to the big job interview tomorrow. As Clint Eastwood said "If there's gonna be shooting, I gotta be rested."

Wednesday, January 21, 2004

I'm Busy. Go Check Out the Squirrels.
Find Your Squirrel Name (I am Commander Drunkenpaws.)
How to Catch a Squirrel
The Sad World of Squirrel Hazing:Intro and The Points System
Squirrel Band


The Belinda Show
(Note to our American friends: Belinda Stronach is an heiress running for the leadership of one of our federal parties --what would probably be the republican equivalent. Sort of the Steve Forbes of Canada – in a skirt.)

From the National Post: “She was part of the popular, in-crowd, said Judy Aravandino, who recalls that Ms. Stronach was the first girl in Grade 8 to wear purple pants, an early indication of her penchant for fashionable clothes.”

I vividly remember wearing purple pants on my very first date in 1984. I am destined for greatness.

I was also proposed to on my first date...and not by my date.

Tuesday, January 20, 2004

"Well, Jerry, my partner made me jump off a cliff into a river..."
They claim this is Robert Redford, but I'd swear it's Jerry Springer.
Run away! Run away!
I need a reason to start running again regularly. A goal, as such. So here it is, publicly declared:

"I, Ice Queen, do solemnly declare that I am going to run in the Pride and Remembrance Run this year", which usually takes place the last weekend or so in June. I think it's 5K. Should something unavoidable come up, I may substitute another similar run (i.e. The Bay Street Rat Race.) Actually, I'd rather enjoy dressing up as a rat. I may do that one too anyway.

So there you have it. I plan to start training after my surgery. Watch for boring reports of my progress.

News Flash
I've got a job interview on Friday for job I put the resume in for eons ago (okay weeks ago, but I'm so fabulous, I don't understand why people don't call the minute they read it. Although maybe she didn't get around to looking at it until now..... Yeah. That's the ticket.)

I'm not terribly optimistic, even though I'm perfectly qualified for it, but what the hell. An interview is good practice. Good thing I keep forgetting to pick up my dry cleaning - that means I've got a nice clean suit ready to go.

Unconditional Love
Sister Staceypatrick gave Ice Prince a book called Walter the Farting Dog for his birthday. She told me there's a sequel coming out. My suggestions include:
Mitzi the Cat With Halitosis
Phil the Incontinent Fish
Ray the Parrot with Tourette's Syndrome
Bob the Bi-Polar Hamster
Alice the Squirrel with Vertigo
Vijay the Agorophobic Guinea Pig
Jimbo the Anal Retentive Gecko
Norman the Snake with Eczema
Susan the Forgetful Ferret

Monday, January 19, 2004

Come for the onion soup mix, stay for the zombies with mullets in piped pants!!
Here are just a few more things people have been searching for on Google when they stumbled into the Icicle Fief:

"grocery gateway" onion soup package (Just say no! Put the mouse down and back away from the screen.)
handy sitty (not sure…..but seems strangely familiar. Maybe an SNL commercial parody?)
Piped pants le chateau (The eighties called. They want their pants back.)
mullet + shotgun + wolverine (I’m intrigued. And frightened.)
arrogant worms it's great to be a nerd (And I’m Proud to Be a Banker)
"I was a zombie for the f.b.i." review (Obviously my zombie past is catching up with me.)
spice cruel war (Whhaaaat? No. Next!)
"wrapped around your finger" sting "Lord of the rings" (Rings can be wrapped around your finger, but otherwise, I’m stumped.)
"Marooned on the Subway" (Well, may as well read some fine literature while you wait. Like this blog!)
ice queen slut (You wish.)
"The Icies" (Have these become so famous? I can’t even remember what I gave Icy Awards for. I must check.)
Mellencamp bottled water (Why, are his 15 minutes over?)


Even my readers are famous
An entire webpage devoted to one of my readers.

Is it you? Go see!
NEW! Monday Free Word Association
As seen on Luna Nina. (Yeah, I'm too lazy to find the tilde. So sue me.)

  1. Berry:: Delicious
  2. Fiendish:: Prank
  3. Bar:: Tab
  4. Frank:: Fresh
  5. Bend:: Over
  6. Fanatic:: Religious
  7. Belch:: Breath
  8. Flagrant:: Delecto
  9. Burden:: Some
  10. Flimsy:: Negligee

Saturday, January 17, 2004

Damned if you do....
So I was riding in a taxi last night and the cabbie had horrible B.O. So I started breathing through my mouth so I didn't haven't to smell it. Then I though "Omigod, now it's going through my mouth!"
Wit And Wisdom of My Gyno
Me: "Ice Prince has been much better behaved lately. It's like he turned three and something in his head snapped."
Gyno: "Yeah, that'll happen if you shake 'em hard enough."

Friday, January 16, 2004

Forever in Blue Jeans

Lunch with Boomer today, during which he has challenged me to wear jeans to work on a Friday. Just once. This involves the purchase of said jeans, most likely at a second hand emporium (why waste money). A digital camera will document the Kodak moment for all. I’m aiming for February 6th.

Sigh. The things I get myself into.
Charlize Theron, Renée Zellweger....

I've gained and lost weight (and gained weight) and nobody ever suggests I should be getting an award for it!

Hmph!
More Wit and Wisdom of the Ice Prince (aged 3 and 17 days)

"You can't get out of the bathtub yet, Mommy. You're not beautiful yet."

Sigh. I'm gonna be in this tub a loooooong time.

Wednesday, January 14, 2004

Groan
Sister Staceypatrick e-mailed me a nun joke, which reminded me of my favourite nun joke.

Mother Superior goes up to the Bishop.
"Father, she says, " I have news. I don't know quite how to tell you, but one of my nuns has a case of syphilis."
"Lovely, lovely," exclaims the Bishop, "it'll make a nice change of pace from those cases of Chablis we've been drinking."
This is so cool and I can't do it!

Expedia.ca is having a contest where you write in 150 words or less why you need a vacation.

A bunch of people are chosen, then on January 30, you show up at a party in Toronto with your suitcase and your travel partner and one of the party guests (and friend) will be whisked away at the end of the party to the airport for a weekend vacation. Isn't that the best? Oh! Sigh.

But on January 30th, I'll still be recovering from The Big Tie. In bed bruised and dazed with my Tylenol 3 and mangos.

Will someone else please do this for me? I shall live vicariously through you. I imbue you with the power. Go forth and win!

P.S. Thanks to Smokey the Bear for the tip.
And the morning lasted all day, all day
15 denier nylons, -21 degrees Celsius with wind chill of -29.

You do the math.

Tuesday, January 13, 2004

We don't want no trouble... we just love staplers!
My Office Space feeling has led me to Virtual Stapler.com where you can see:
Staplers in Film
or enjoy some Poetry about Staplers.

Go. Write some poetry about staplers. Post it in comments.

Are you still here? Go on. Shoo!

Don't make me come over there.
Light Up the Sky Like a Flame
Crabby has admitted to asking "that guy from Blue Rodeo" if she could sing with him at a party.

What famous singer or group would you ideally like to sing with? What song would you perform?

I think I'd like to do the B52 girl's part in REM's Shiny Happy People.

Feelin' Office Spacey
"Well look, I already told you! I deal with the goddamn customers so the engineers don't have to! I have people skills! I am good at dealing with people! Can't you understand that? What the hell is wrong with you people?"

Monday, January 12, 2004

Hope this helps
Some poor soul stumbled across my blog looking for "funeral poems for nanas."

Here is a verse we found in my Nana's purse when she died, and we read it at her funeral. It still comforts me. I don't know its origin.

"Death is nothing at all. It does not count. I have only slipped away into the next room. Nothing has happened. Everything remains exactly as it was. I am I, and you are you, and the old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched, unchanged. Whatever we were to each other, that we are still. Call me by the old familiar name. Speak of me in the easy way which you always used. Put no difference into your tone. Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow. Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes that we enjoyed together. Play, smile, think of me, pray for me. Let my name be ever the household word that it always was. Let it be spoken without an effort, without the ghost of a shadow upon it. Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same as it ever was. There is absolute and unbroken continuity. What is this death but a negligible accident? Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight? I am but waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just around the corner. All is well."

I Don't Care If The Sun Don't Shine, I Get My Lovin' In The Evening Time

That's all.

Look at me! Look at me!

I figured there's no way in hell I'll win a Bloggie, so I donated a prize! It's for Best Canadian Blog.

Do men and women like different kinds of books?

Fresh loved Barney’s version, but I didn’t. Now I’m reading a book called Disgrace, which he enjoyed. It’s ok…I guess.

I’ve recommended two books that he liked: The Watch That Ends the Night (Hugh McLennan) and Famous Last Words (Timothy Findley). And of course, I introduced him to reading Charles Bukowski.

He seems to like books about obnoxious womanizing male protagonists with little or no redeeming qualities. Why? Why?

Men also love the movie Field of Dreams. It was good. But I don’t know why all the men in the audience were misty-eyed. Oh well.

Everybody’s a comedian
Don’t forget to read the reviews!

Groan
Overheard in the elevator.
Guy 1: What’s the white ribbon on your coat for?
Guy 2: I forget. Oh, wait! It’s for Alzheimer’s.

Sunday, January 11, 2004

What I Did on the Weekend
"I shall call him Squishy, and he shall be mine, and he shall be my Squishy."
The Big Tie

I have rescheduled The Big Tie (which is actually a couple of wee clamps). For new readers who will ask, the answers are:
1. No, he doesn't want to.
2. No, I don't care.
3. No, one is enough. More than enough some days. The more I rejoice as he leaves stages behind, the more I realize I never ever want to do that again. The birth itself was a piece of cake. I briefly considered Suroggate Motherhood as an alternate profession.
4. Yes, I know is not reversible.
5. Because I'm on antobiotics 4 or 5 times a year and they negate the pill. Yes, I'd stay on it forever.
6. Jan 28th
7. Lesbian porn, tapioca, mangos (Crabby's ideas. All good.)

Girl's Night Out
Crabby hurt her eye, so Sister Staceypatrick and I had to venture out alone on Friday. We drank, ate appetizers, played pool and phoned my old University roomate - who still lives in her wee hometown. She seems so......subdued. Have we changed that much? Or have we always been more fabulous than our peers? It's a burden, but we bare bear it.

Purse
Radmila asks whether we have hand sanitizer in our purses. I did it last year, but here's a snapshot of What's in The Ice Queen's Purse®:
Overdue video "Hedwig and the Angry Inch"
Top from Friday that was too boring to wear out to dinner
Smaller purse, inside which is:
Underwear
Dinky car
Wallet
Cell phone
Flyer for Kid's Play Hour at local café
My Birthday card from Crabby and Sister

And that's all! Surprising little, if you remember the last list.

Friday, January 09, 2004

No Crib For a Bed
So no news yet from my résumé submission, despite my obvious fabulousness and breadth of experience.

I figure I probably spelt "Manager" as "Manger" again.

Damn, damn, damn!

Look at me! Look at me!
Go! Nominate me for a Bloggie! I thrive on recognition. I think I'm the "Best Kept Secret".

Ice Queen's Weather Hat
The flaps are down.

Oh Happy Day
It's Friday.
My weather hat keeps me super toasty warm.
Evening of revelry with Sister StacyP this evening.
I.P. is going to school in Sept.
I.P. is responding positively to candy bribery for finalization of toilet training. (he can do it, he just would rather keep playing)
Good hair, good makeup.
Meeting with boss (I enjoy these!)
Song stuck inmy head is "What a Wonderful World"


Thursday, January 08, 2004

Shock and Awe
I phoned our local school to get Ice Prince into the daycare for when he starts in 2005 and they told me he can start this September. Holy.

Unfortunately, the daycare is booked solid. Still...my boy in school in only eight months. I...I...

Talk amongst yourselves. I'll give you a topic:
Employment insurance: Does it insure you against employment? UI made much more sense.
Things my Nana Taught Me
Here's a few superstitions I remember. They are most likely Scottish.

Itchiness:
Itchy nose: You’re going to kiss a fool
Itchy hand: You’re going to give or get money (depends on which hand’s itchy, I can’t remember)
Itchy feet: You’re going to travel

Sneezing Can Predict Your Future!:
One: A Wish
Two: A Kiss
Three: A disappointment

General:
It's bad luck to have ivy in your house.
It's bad luck to put new shoes on a bed.

And one of my favourites:
Of course, we all know when a cat cleans behind its ears, it's going to snow. Well, one winter, my grandparents' cat cleaned its ears, and then proceeded to lick its butt.
Nana: "What do you think that means?"
Grandfather: "We're going to be up to our asses in snow."
What a Difference a Year Makes
According to Eva, whom I shall trust implicitly, yesterday was my 1st bloggiversary (I like the extra “g”). We lost Chip, but we gained so many new readers. I should have had a special ceremony, but I’ve been sooooooo busy. Nice busy. Adrenaline busy. My boss gives me hell in such a nice, helpful way that it’s almost pleasant. Really, no sarcasm intended. It’s been a good week so far. A nice beginning to the year.

Unfortunately, I noticed in the subway tabloid that satin clothes and metallic shoes are in this year. What’s a Classic Beauty like me to do? (Yes, I am a Classic Beauty. Didn’t you get the memo?) I’ll just continue to dress in my usually crazy way.

For those who have met me, what was your favourite Ice Queen outfit or accessory?

Make some new friends, keep the old
Welcome to Saara of Three Wise Monkeys. She’s getting married (which should make for some fine blogging). I’ll add her to the links when I have time. In the meantime, find her in the wine comments and check it out!

Wednesday, January 07, 2004

Maybe not quite mature enough, but you'd still like to have me to dinner
If you were a wine, which wine would you be? I'd probably be one of these:

Cecchi, 1997 Villa Cerna -- $22: Solid core of dark cherry and tobacco aromas. Richly structured and big, but showing considerable finesse and finishing with plush tannins. A deeply satisfying wine that is Brunello-like in its intensity and span of flavors.

Monsanto, 1997 Il Poggio -- $45: Rich and plummy with lush tannins. Prominent aromas of ripe, dark fruit. A huge wine that is perhaps a bit rustic, but very impressive nonetheless. Score: 90 (89)

Ducale Gold, 1997 Chianti Classico -- $40: Prominent cherry and dark fruit flavors with gorgeous scents of sweet tobacco and cedar, this wine has terrific length and persistence, though it is a bit hot on the finish. Score: 90

Tuesday, January 06, 2004

15 minutes of fame
I am now the #1 Google search listing for:
"Hey you kids, get out of that Jello tree!" (try it if you don't believe me)

You think the Internet is a repository for all of world's important information, and yet no one else has more information on this cult classic.

Sad, really.
100 Things About YOU
Go see Eva this morning (see Eva-angelical link on the left. Use 'em and love 'em.)

It's funny 'cause it's true.

Monday, January 05, 2004

Done. The résumé is sent.

Yes, my job is fine, but we have to reach for the stars, 'else what's a heaven for? Same company, same title, different department, higher level. As Hillary Duff might ask, Why Not?

And I thoroughly enjoyed the rum and monkey site--see post below. Lots of great quizzes. If I was a famous homosexual, I'd be Eleanor Roosevelt. I think I spelled that wrong, but too late. I'm going to bed with "Memoirs of a Geisha", which I am really enjoying. And I'm a tough critic.
But you knew that already, right?

I promised myself I'd sit here and work on my résumé, but instead I'm finding out that:
1. I'm dead.
2. I'm a lunatic
3. I should have eaten more pomegranates.


Which Historical Lunatic Are You?
From the fecund loins of Rum and Monkey.
Don't lick any stamps, Britney....

Britney Spears married Jason Alexander?

Am I the only one who thinks the star of stage and screen is a bit old for her?

Sunday, January 04, 2004

Home Sweet....
Did you spend too much at Christmas? Max out your credit cards? Having trouble meeting those pesky mortgage payments?

There's always an option!
Elmo in Da Hood
For Christmas, the Ice Prince received Hokey Pokey Elmo: Spawn of Satan. Is it as annoying as it seems? You bet. However, it does have a redeeming feature. I.P. had Elmo positioned on a shelf with some wooden nutcracker soldiers. Some of the soldiers fell down when Elmo was turning around. Finally, when Elmo was "putting his right foot, right foot out, right foot in" it looked like he was kicking the soldier in the head as he lay on the floor. Gangsta Elmo --now that's entertainment!

It could have been worse. He could have gotten this.

Saturday, January 03, 2004

Yeah, baby
mod
You're a Mod. You dig expensive things, like suits
and speed. You have a fine appreciation for the
Kinks and know that Motown started it all, and
you have fabulous style. Hey, nice hair.


You Know Yer Indie. Let's Sub-Categorize.
brought to you by Quizilla

Friday, January 02, 2004

Not a Creature Was Stirring

Here I am at work, and know what? No one else is here. I swear.

It is way too quiet, there are way too many gummy bears on David's desk callling eeeeeeeeaaaaatttt meeeeeeeee, and I have some god awful song stuck in my head that Ice Prince's new electronic train plays (it's a particularly tinny and festive version of Jingle Bells.)

I'm going home and having a bath. Yep, you heard me. With my nice new lavender soap from Provence. Hopefully Ice Prince will be nice and not try to use my new standing mixer to make me a jacuzzi.
Who knew?
This site is certified 21% EVIL by the Gematriculator

Thursday, January 01, 2004

From the Annals of Say What?
My party posse yesterday last saw me heading off to the Hosiery Dept at The Bay to buy new nylons (after having removed them at the shop, see below post).

Anyhow, one of the pairs of nylons I bought came with bonus "Hosiery Crystals". You stick 'em on your nylons. Cool enough. Anyhow the application instructions include:
"Do not apply stones onto the eyeball or mucous membranes." Oooooooookay.....

And I told my mom I got a stylized phoenix tattoo. "A stylized penis tattoo?" she replied. Sigh.

And yes, it washes off.
But why is the rum gone?
You'll see we had a makeover for my birthday. (The blog site, not the queen).

A lovely birthday was had. Where shall I begin?
When I took the underwear out of my purse?
When I frightened the shopkeep by asking where I could remove my nylons?
The tattoos? I got a phoenix, very nice for New Year's, I thought. Boomer got "Super Stud", Steph got a bat, and Beco just copied me (although he had to shave first, unlike me).

And yes, I did wear the tiara all the way home. Thank you, Crabby. The tiara was the icing on the Ice Queen.

At night, Fresh and I watched Pirates of the Caribbean. I want to be Captain Jack when I grow up. Fresh can be Will Turner. Then we watched some of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert -- one of my favourite all-time movies. A quiet night, much needed after the eight crazy nights we've had lately.